


Moments of the Heart

by RamblingtowardsEcstasy



Series: ...Of the Heart [2]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Cheating, Established Evil Queen | Regina Mills/Emma Swan, F/F, Family Fluff, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Heavy Angst, Humor, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Light Angst, Minor Character Death, Sequel, Swan-Mills Family, no happy ending, one scene smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-16
Updated: 2018-07-11
Packaged: 2019-04-23 17:22:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 51,777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14337369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RamblingtowardsEcstasy/pseuds/RamblingtowardsEcstasy
Summary: The second story in the 'Of the Heart' series. Follow the moments that shaped Regina and Emma's relationship, over a number of years.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story picks up about 2 years after the first story, Impressions of the Heart and is set over a number of years, regaling the moments that shaped Regina and Emma's relationship. Be it a big or little moment every one had significance in their relationship. If you're expecting a happy ending, I'm sorry this story may not be for you but it does lead us to the third story, Admissions of the Heart. 
> 
> Before each chapter I will note if there is a 'Trigger Warning' that you need to know about. 
> 
> With this all being said, I hope you enjoy the ride. ~ RamblingtowardsEcstasy

**MOMENTS OF THE HEART**  

 

**CHAPTER ONE.**  

 

"Perhaps we should have gone for a smaller tree?" Emma frowned as she called out over her shoulder.

Standing back from the tree, the blonde’s gaze fell upon the sheer size of it.  She gave a low whistle as she perched herself on the edge of the coffee table and picked up her bottle of beer. Taking a swig, her eyes drifted to the top of the tree.  How the hell was she supposed to place the golden star decoration on top? Glancing at the small step ladder as she took another swig of her beer, she realized she would need a bigger ladder for this job.  

At that moment Regina padded into the lounge area and stopped suddenly. “Oh my!” She sized up the enormity of the tree.  

The blonde emerged from behind the tree looking flummoxed. "I have no idea how we're going to get the star on?"  She showed her girlfriend the gold star and looked to the top of the tree again.  

Regina’s gaze left the blonde and fell back to the tree. "You'll think of something, Em." She winked as she turned on her heel and walked back to the kitchen area.

The blonde’s mouth fell open as she watched Regina standing by the stove stirring whatever was in the huge stock pot.  

Oh hell no! Regina Mills was not getting away with this.  It had been the brunette’s idea to buy the biggest and bushiest tree from the Christmas tree farm.  Emma was quite content with buying a normal six foot artificial tree, but no, Regina had insisted on buying a real one.  They had spent several hours last weekend in the cold, traipsing around the farm looking for the “Perfect Tree”.   The day previously, Regina had badgered Emma into buying a real tree citing how the smell of a real tree was intoxicating and more ‘Christmassy’ than the generic artificial trees that all looked cheap and nasty. And don't even get Regina started on the fiber optic trees with the little twinkling lights. Poor Emma had made that mistake and it was any wonder that she was still alive.   

Emma narrowed her eyes, tossed the golden star on the sofa and stalked over to the brunette.  

"You are not getting out of this one, Mills!" Emma said, crossing her arms over her chest. "If I remember correctly, it was your idea to get the eight foot Norwegian spruce."  

With a sheepish smirk, Regina looked up from the stock pot to her girlfriend.

"I was quite happy for a six foot artificial..." Emma said smugly but was cut off by the brunette.  

"Emma if you value your life; you will never utter those words in this house ever again." Regina placed her hands on her hips and glared back at the blonde.  

The blonde cocked an eyebrow as a defiant smirk etched over her face. She was silently daring the brunette to do her worst.  "SIX. FOOT. ARTIFICIAL. TREE" Emma taunted.   

The brunette's eyes widen in mock horror. Oh yes, the blonde had pushed her luck and gone there. As she narrowed her eyes slightly, Regina weighed up the blonde. She would make Emma pay for defying her. The only successful way was to play the waiting game. Which she had no problem in storing this act of defiance in the back of her mind only to use it against the blonde at a later date. See Regina was very good at punishing the blonde and unfortunately Emma knew this.  

Gulp rapidly, Emma knew exactly what the brunette was thinking and concocting up in that brain of hers. Instantly regretting her bold act of defiance, she knew her punishment could and most certainly come in many different forms. She would have to be on her guard from now on.  Knowing that Regina wouldn’t let her get away with this.  

With a playful huff and a roll of the eyes, Regina turned from the blonde and carried on cooking their dinner.  

_Oh shit! The silent treatment, Emma thought._  

This was the worst kind of punishment Regina could bestow upon the blonde and they both knew this. Tracing her finger over the counter top, Emma watched the brunette for a few moments.  

"Baby..." Emma sing-songed.  

The brunette continued to ignore the blonde.  

“Baby…” Emma tried again, stepping closer until she was in touching distance of the brunette. Regina was a tough nut to crack but she knew the only way to redeem herself would be to step up and sweet talk her girlfriend.  

Nervously licking her lips and running her tongue across her teeth, Emma practiced her award winning smile. She leant closer and closed her eyes, allowing her lips to ghost over the brunette’s right ear before placing a soft feathery kiss on the brunette’s nape. Regina's head twitched as the touch took her by surprise. Emma repeated her action and the brunette relaxed under the attention.  Emma then slowly embraced the brunette around her waist and continued her assault on her girlfriend. Trailing the kisses back to the brunette's ear and finally whispering something which caused the brunette to drop the wooden spoon into the large stock pot and turn off the gas.  

A mischievous grin appeared on the blonde's face as the brunette turned to face her.  Taking Regina by surprise, Emma cupped her backside and lifted her off the floor causing Regina to wrap her legs around the blonde’s waist. Regina playfully nipped and tugged at Emma’s lower lip as she was carried out of the kitchen and into their bedroom.  

In the end, Emma always won, she knew exactly how to get around Regina.  

 

**~()~**  

 

Regina’s eyes slowly fluttered open and focused on the red glowing digits of her alarm clock. 

Seven o’clock.  

Turning over in the bed toward her sleeping fiancée, her eyes drifted and focused on the blonde.  With her head buried into the pillow, Emma’s blonde mane was splayed across her naked shoulders. A subtle reminder of last night’s activities.  The rhythmic chorus of soft muffled snoring filled the air around them. Emma was sound asleep beside her.

Smiling to herself, Regina’s hand surfaced from under the duvet and began to gently trace against the blonde’s naked back.  Emma twitched in her sleep and let out a muffled moan or snore, Regina wasn’t quite sure.  Retracting her fingers quickly, Regina waited until the blonde settled back into a rhythmic sleep before continuing. Tentatively at first, she slowly raked her fingernails up and down Emma’s spine, listening to the blonde sigh contently at the soft touch. After a few moments, Regina’s fingers retracted from the blonde’s spine as she turned onto her back and focused on the ceiling above them.  Glancing back at the clock, she realised that she really needed to get up. It was Christmas day after all and they had a busy day ahead of them. Pushing back the covers and sliding out of the bed, she retrieved her grey satin dressing gown from the floor.  As she tightened the belt around her waist, she glanced over her shoulder to Emma and smiled once more. How had she got so lucky in life?  Emma Swan was everything and more she could want in a partner.  They really had come a long way over the last two years.

Padding softly around the bed, she gathered up their discarded clothes from the floor and dropped them in the laundry hamper on the way to the kitchen.

With two mugs sitting side by side on the countertop, Regina busily prepared the coffee machine for their first morning brew.  With the machine going through its motions, she absent-mindedly stared at their Christmas tree and thought back to last night.  Dressing the tree, chatting through dinner and making love long into the night and early morning.  Then a twinge of excitement and perhaps anxiousness flooded her thoughts, Emma was meeting her parents for the first time today and she knew that it could go one of two ways. Her parents were either going to love Emma or loathe her.  

Having lived here in the ‘White House’ now for just over a year, she finally felt at ease to host Christmas day. Last year she had travelled to Maine alone because Emma had been rotated to work all over Christmas.   

It was also around the same time when Emma had moved in with the brunette. The blonde’s apartment had been condemned after the apartment building had been badly damaged in a tragic fire incident, where three of her neighbours were killed. Luckily, Emma hadn’t been at home at the time and was out on patrol on the other side of Boston. Hearing the call-out over the cruiser scanner, she immediately turned her cruiser around and drove with sirens blaring to her address.

Upon arriving at the scene, the street had been cordoned off with police cruisers and fire engines.  Ducking under the yellow tape, she saw the extent of damage to the building first hand. The scene around her was chaotic as fire crews, fellow police officers and paramedics worked tiresomely to contain the situation. Emma slumped against the side of a cruiser as she watched a fire ladder being extended up to her third floor apartment and a fire crew scrabble up the ladder blasting the building with the high pressure hose. Believing that she had lost all her possessions, Emma hung her head in despair and only lifted it when a zipped up black body bag trolleyed past her and disappeared into the back of the paramedic vehicle. Tears streamed down her face as she watched one of her neighbours being consoled by one of her colleagues who gave her a sorrowful look before they both followed the paramedics away from the scene. Emma left soon after not knowing where to go or what to do. It was the next day when she found out that her apartment had been condemned and she had indeed lost some of her possessions. Only being left with a handful of trinkets and miraculously the enlarged photograph that Regina had given her when they first met.

It now hung on the wall of their bedroom area.  

With the coffee machine clicking loudly it signalled the brewing process had finished. Regina came out of her reverie as the aroma wafted throughout the building.  She knew once Emma smelt the brewed coffee; she’d be awake and join her in the kitchen. As always, they would sit at the breakfast bar, wake up fully together and chat lightly about the upcoming day.   

And on cue, Emma appeared by her side.  Regina smiled as she drank in the blonde’s appearance. It was typical of Emma to choose her loose fitting boxer shorts and very tight white vest top. Her hair quickly styled into a messy bun on the top of her head.

“Good morning, my love. Merry Christmas.” Regina said, pouring coffee into their mugs.

“Merry Christmas, Sweetheart.” Emma lightly kissed the brunette on the cheek. Shuffling over to the breakfast bar, Emma settled on the wooden stool and pulled the other one out for the brunette.

Sitting together, the couple drank their coffees in silence until they finally woke up fully, the conversation turned to events of the day. Regina’s parents would be here for dinner in the afternoon, which meant the two had the place to themselves this morning.  

Silently Emma slipped off the stool and stood before her fiancée, holding her hand out for the brunette to take. With a tilt of her head and quirk of her brow, Regina took the blondes hand. Their fingers naturally entwined as Emma led them to the couch where Regina sat and watched Emma continue to the Christmas tree. Bending down, the blonde picked up a small neatly wrapped box and turned it over in her hands a couple of times as she looked to Regina with a smile.  Dropping to her knees before the brunette, Emma took a hold of Regina’s hands and gently squeezed them before she spoke.

“I know I have already asked you … and…you said yes, but will you marry me, again?”  Letting go of Regina, Emma produced the small box in her cupped hands.

Regina looked at the wrapped present and then to Emma. With a wide smile, she answered. “Yes, of course.”  

Taking the box from Emma, Regina slowly un-wrapped the shiny gold wrapping paper and traced her fingers over the top of the velvet box before lifting the lid to reveal a diamond ring.  Her eyes widened as she marvelled at it.  It was absolutely beautiful and truth be told it was the same ring she’d been looking at a month ago when they had been out shopping one day.  At the time Regina had expressed her fondness for the ring but never expected Emma to purchase it. In fact, if she remembered rightly, Emma seemed nonchalant about it. Which left Regina feeling slightly disappointed.  

“When did you buy it?”  

“The same day after you left for that job in New York.” She chuckled.  

“Sneaky.” Regina grinned.  

“I’ve been told that before.” Emma winked, taking the box off the brunette and picking up the ring.

Regina extended her left hand for Emma to replace the plastic toy ring which she had used to propose with six months earlier.   Slowly Emma slipped it over the brunette’s finger before placing a soft kiss over the brunette’s knuckles. “I love you so much, sweetheart. I can’t wait to marry you.” She blushed slightly.  

Regina blushed. “I can't wait either, Em.” Leaning forward, she embraced her fiancée. “You are the best thing to happen to me.”

A moment later, Regina stood and moved over to the Christmas tree, retrieving Emma’s present. Handing it to the blonde, Regina sat down next to her fiancée and took a sip of her coffee as she watched Emma turn the small box in her hands. Had Regina bought her a ring as well?  Emma rattled the box and curiously looked to the brunette.

Regina rolled her eyes.  “Just open it, Emma.” 

The blonde didn’t need telling twice. Quickly unwrapping it, Emma opened the small box, revealing a gold necklace with a circular Swan pendant hanging from it.  

“Gina, I love it. It’s so beautiful. Thank you.”  

Regina took a hold of the necklace and then picked up the plastic ring that had been her engagement ring and threaded it through.  Holding it up for Emma to see, she spoke. “I know you can't wear rings for work, so you can wear this on your necklace until we can get you a ring.”  

The blonde dipped her head allowing Regina to clasp the necklace around her neck before they sunk back into the sofa and snuggled together.

This was a perfect Christmas morning. Just the two of them. Together and very much in love.  

 

**~{}~**  

 

Slowly Emma opened the door to Regina’s parents. With a warm smile, Emma welcomed them inside.  Regina was finishing of the trimmings that would accompany the turkey for their dinner in the kitchen area.  

“Daddy, Mother.” Regina said, dropping the wooden spoon into the mixing bowl.  Walking around the kitchen island to greet her parents, she gave them both a hug before standing next to Emma and wrapping her arm passively around the blonde’s waist. “This is Emma!”  

Cora smiled tightly as she subtly inspected her daughter’s fiancée. This was in contrary to her husband’s warm and wide smile.

“It’s so nice to finally meet you, Emma.”  Henry Mills replied.  

“And you, Sir.”  

“Pah!” Henry waved his hand dismissively. “We’re practically family, Emma. Call me Henry.” He chuckled.  

Emma nodded and smiled. “Henry.  

Cora stepped away from her husband and glanced around the apartment. “So you work here as well, Regina?” 

“Yes, Mother.”  

“And you find this building acceptable?”  

Regina nodded and looked to Emma. “This is our home, Mother.”  

Clearing her throat subtly, Cora walked around the area and headed up the stairs to Regina’s studio space.  Regina excused herself and followed her mother up the stairs.   As Cora stood in the middle of Regina’s studio, she looked around the space.  It certainly was bigger than she expected. Regina stood momentarily on the top stair and watched her mother inspecting the area. She knew exactly what the older woman was thinking. 

Approaching the woman, Regina spoke.  “So, does it meet your approval?”  

Glancing over her shoulder, Cora pursed her lips together tightly before she spoke. “Certainly not what I was expecting...”  

“My home or Emma, Mother?”  

“Both...” Cora said, picking up a print from the work bench. Giving it a dismissive look, she placed it back where she found it. 

Sighing heavily, Regina knew she would never win against her mother.  Although Cora Mills may appear supportive of her daughter’s occupation, it was no secret that Cora Mills had wanted her daughter to follow in her footsteps and enter into politics. She may have accepted Regina’s choice but that didn’t stop the constant disapproving remarks and little reminders of the life Regina could have had.  

Cora had been less than thrilled initially when her daughter had come out when she was twenty and at the time had put it down as a phase in her daughter’s life. She would remind Regina at every given opportunity that she would grow out of this phase and would eventually marry into an “old money” family, produce children and live a ‘normal’ life. Like she, Cora Mills had done.

A young Cora had diligently perused Henry Mills who was the only son of an old money Maine family. Henry may have been reluctant at first but eventually accepted the attention he was receiving.  Courting for some time, Cora cemented her intention of marriage when she announced that she was pregnant and somewhat forced Henry Mills hand. They married quickly, moved into their martial home and welcomed their baby daughter into the world.  Cora Mills had achieved her objection.  

Her mother’s obsession with money, influence and power dominated their families every waking hour. Although it had provided Regina with a financially stable upbringing, she couldn’t help but wonder over the years if love actually came into the equation for her parents.

Because if it did, her parents had a funny way of showing it toward each other.

Emma appeared at the top of stairs, neither of the Mills women had seen the blonde.  

“The thing is Mother; I’m marrying for love not money and power. Unlike you.”  Regina felt the presence of someone behind her. Turning slowing, she saw her fiancée.  She wondered how much the blonde had heard. “Emma?”  

Cora glanced to the blonde before turning away and making her way to the window. Peering outside, she welcomed this interruption. 

“Um, I think the turkey is burnt. Your Dad is trying his best but...It doesn’t look good.” Emma smiled apologetically.  

Sighing deeply, Regina shook her head as she walked to Emma who stopped her.

“Everything alright?” Emma whispered, glancing over to Cora who was pretending not to listen.

Nodding softly, Regina rubbed her hand up the blonde’s forearm. “It’s fine.”  She said, brushing past her fiancée and hurrying down the stairs to help her father rescue the turkey.  

Once Regina was out of sight, Emma’s gaze fell back to Cora Mills who was still standing at the window.

“Mrs Mills...” Emma prompted as she let go of the banister and walked to the centre of the room.  

Cora glanced at the blonde. “Cora...As Henry said, we’re practically family.”  

Emma nodded and smiled awkwardly. “Okay, Cora. Can I ask what just happened?” 

“Nothing to concern yourself with, dear. We should join the others.”  She moved from the window and went to walk past the blonde but Emma stood firmly in place.

“It is when it concerns my fiancée.”  Emma countered.

Taken aback by Emma’s behaviour, Cora hadn’t expected the directness of her future daughter in law. She eyed the blonde in a silent battle of wits. “How much did you hear?”  

“All of it, Cora. And can I just say I know I’m not what you were expecting; I saw it in your eyes when I opened the door to you and in the false smile when Regina introduced me. But Regina loves me and I her. I may not come from the background you were hoping for and frankly I don't care but I will guarantee that Regina will want for nothing for the rest of her life.”  

“Hmmm, how optimistic of you.” Cora replied sarcastically. “All these promises on a policeman’s wage.”  

“There’s more to life than money, Mrs Mills. Regina has already shown me that. I’m talking about happiness, commitment, love and respect. She’s truly special and I plan on showing her all those things every day of our lives.”  

Raising her eyebrows to her future daughter in law. “I can see why she likes you, Miss Swan.  I must say how honourable of you.” Cora brushed past the blonde and disappeared down the stairs without a word.  

 

**And that was the moment; Emma Swan met the real Cora Mills. It was also the moment, Emma realised that this would probably be the last Christmas they would spend with Regina’s parents.**

 


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N - Thank you so much to everyone for the support, it means a lot to me. Anyway, so with this story there will be time hops between chapters with the overall story following the couple over ten or so years. Also I need to explain (because it's causing a little confusion) The 2 Chapter Scene story - 'Elevator Scene Admissions of the Heart' is kind of like a teaser or preview for the third story ' Admissions of the Heart' which I am currently planning / outlining and hopefully will have written by the end of the year.
> 
> With that being said, I hope you enjoy the next chapter. ~RamblingtowardsEcstasy

**MOMENTS OF THE HEART**

**CHAPTER TWO.**

 

"Ruby, I am  _not_  having a stripper at my hen do..." Emma huffed indigently as she accepted the drink off her work colleague and friend. "It's so tacky..."

"Oh come on, Swan. It's tradition. Regina tell your wife to be, please." The brunette glanced at her friend's fiancée as she sat down opposite the couple.

Holding her hands up in defence, Regina spoke. "Oh no, don't you involve me, Ruby. You are the best woman. I shouldn't even be here." She chuckled.

Emma smiled gratefully to her fiancée as she reached for her hand, giving it a quick squeeze. "See Rubes, she said no." Emma laughed.

"I didn't hear her say no, I just heard a cop out, Swan. " Ruby cocked her eyebrow as she crossed her arms over her chest and stared at the couple.

Emma smirked. "You're right, Rubes. It was a cop out." She glanced to Regina and winked.

Shaking her head comically, Regina rose from the table and glanced over to the waitress, signalling for the bill. "Anyway darling, I should be going. I have a meeting with the gallery about some pieces being included in an exhibition."

A moment later, the waitress handed Regina the bill. Glancing at it, Regina pulled out her purse from her handbag and placed some money on the table.

"Oh is that today, babe."

Regina nodded and smiled.

"Knock em' dead, sweetheart. Good luck!" Emma smiled.

"Thank you, darling. Have a nice day off. I'll see you at home tonight." The brunette kissed Emma on the cheek and then pointedly glared at Ruby. "And there will no strippers at Emma's hen do, Ruby!"

Gulping dramatically and shaking her head hard, Ruby meekly replied. "No strippers, got it..."

With a smile and a wink directed to her fiancée, Regina turned and walked out of the coffee shop without saying another word.

As Emma turned back to her friend, she smiled smugly and crossed her arms over her chest in triumph.

"Oh shut up, Swan!" Ruby snarled.

**~{}~**

Emma looked at herself in the mirror for the third time that night. Ruffling her hair over her shoulders, she turned slightly to the left and then to the right as she checked out her backside in the mirror. The new pair of skinny jeans she'd purchased shaped her behind perfectly. It certainly looked peachier, Emma thought. Turning back to the bed, she slipped on her faithful old red leather jacket and then glanced one last time in the mirror. She was ready. Smiling to herself, she walked out of the bedroom area and up the internal stairs to Regina's studio. The brunette was busily working at her long metal bench.

"Okay, I'm going now babe." Emma announced, stepping into Regina's working space.

The brunette looked up from the prints she was working on and swivelled on the stool. "Enjoy your last night of freedom, darling." She teased as Emma approached her. Draping her arms over the blonde, she gave Emma a quick peck on the lips. "Is Ruby here?"

Emma shook her head. "No, I'm meeting her and the guy's downtown at O'Reilly's. Then we're off to some club that Ruby keeps going on about."

With a nod of her head, Regina pulled the blonde closer to her and captured her lips one more time. This time the kiss was hard, passionate and perhaps a little desperate. It was just enough to entice the blonde.

"Or I could stay here, we can make out and you know have our only little party." Emma blushed as she leant back from the embrace.

Chuckling hard, Regina spoke. "As much as that sounds promising, I don't think Ruby will forgive you or me for that matter. She's taking her role of 'best woman' very seriously."

Emma shrugged. "Indeed she is..."

Stepping away from the brunette, Emma studied Regina's work. "Looks great, babe! It's coming along nicely."

Glancing back to her work, Regina smiled. "Yeah, I'm hoping it will be well received at the exhibition."

"Sweetheart, it's amazing. They'll love it. Stop worrying, okay?"

Regina nodded as she reached for her fiancée one last time. "You better go, Ruby will start to worry."

Emma nodded before giving the brunette a lingering kiss. "What time is Katherine, coming over?"

"She said she'll be here at nine. She's bringing a takeaway."

"See that sounds much more enjoyable." Emma chuckled.

Regina rolled her eyes. "Thinking of food again. "

Emma shrugged. "When am I not..."

"Good point. Go and when you come back, I'll have a surprise for you." Regina smirked.

"Oh yeah. What's that, left overs?" Emma chuckled.

Regina stood and directed the blonde to sit down on the stool. Emma was a little confused. Standing back from her fiancée, Regina started swaying her hips to imaginary music before dancing her way back to the blonde. Momentarily, she draped her arms over Emma's shoulders and shimmed her hips before turning around and allowed her backside to graze over Emma's lap. As she leant into the blonde, she lifted Emma's hands and covered them over the swell of her breasts.

"I'll do a private lap dance for you." She murmured into the blonde's ear. "You'll get your stripper after all."

With Emma's mouth gapping open as a faint tinge of pink surfaced over her cheeks, she moaned softly. Regina smirked to herself before moving Emma's right hand from her breast and down inside her jeans. The blonde could feel the heat and wetness radiating from inside the brunette's panties. Lolling her head back, Emma moaned loudly. "That's it, I'm ringing in sick."

Laughing loudly, Regina removed Emma's hand and turned to the blonde. "You'll do no such thing, Em. The sooner you go, the sooner you will get your treat." She pulled Emma off the stool and pushed her towards the stairs. "Have fun, sweetheart."

Feeling a little disheartened, Emma pouted before coming around quickly with a wide smile. "I love you."

"Love you too." Regina called out as Emma descended the stairs.

**~{}~**

Making her way through the crowd of people, Emma sided up to the bar next to one of her colleagues who was fruitlessly trying to flirt with a pretty blonde beside him. Rolling her eyes dramatically, she turned away and waved to the bartender to get his attention. The bartender eventually saw Emma and held up his index finger indicating to give him a minute before finishing the order we was working on. Emma glanced back to her colleague and shook her head in despair.

Emma's eyes locked onto the bartender who was now making his way back to Emma. With a smile, he draped his hand over the beer tap and asked for Emma's order.

As she ordered her rum and coke, she glanced back to her colleague who it seemed to be having no joy with the pretty blonde. After a moment, her colleague turned to Emma and raised his eyebrows in mock horror.

"It would seem she bats for your side, Swan." He muttered.

Emma glanced to the retreating blonde and then to her colleague. "Plenty of fish, Killian."

"Aye." He smiled, clicking his glass against Emma's "Didn't take you as a rum drinker, love."

"Normally I'm not. I usually stick with beer but it's a special occasion."

Killian nodded and smiled as he wrapped his arm around Emma's shoulders, pulling her closer. "Still can't believe you're getting married, Swan. You've come along way."

"Me either, Killian. I still can't believe she said yes."

Killian laughed. Emma Swan was so humble and didn't realise how beautiful she was and that any woman or man would be lucky to have her in their life. "Regina is the lucky one, Swan."

The blonde blushed slightly and then frowned. She knew where this conversation was heading. It was no secret that Killian Jones had always had a "thing" for her and it was obvious that he still did. "Killian." She warned.

Raising his hands in surrender, he took a half step back. "As you said, Swan. Plenty of fish in the sea." And with that he backed away and disappeared into the crowd of people.

Emma turned back to the bar and took a sip of her drink before shaking her head slightly.

An hour later, Emma realised that most of her colleagues including Ruby had deserted her for better offers. She didn't mind though. She had enjoyed the evening with her friends but had quickly come to the conclusion that this wasn't her scene anymore. She longed to be at home with her fiancée, doing their thing. Whatever their thing was?

Ruby on occasions would tease her about how boring she and Regina had become. According to Ruby they talked too much about their upcoming wedding, Regina's career and the alterations they were considering for their house. Emma couldn't see the problem. She felt like she had finally grown up and was ready to start the next phase of her life with the brunette who still after two years together made her swoon at a drop of a hat. Downing her drink, she made her way to the exit of the club.

**That was the moment, Emma realised that she was done with this part of her life. She had enjoyed it but now it was time to get serious about her life.**

**~{}~**

Regina sat in the pine director's chair and glanced in to the mirror. The make-up artist that her mother had secretly booked for her had just left. Studying her reflection in the mirror, she was impressed with the wonderful job the make-up artist had done. Far better than her own attempt, she thought.

With her hairdresser due any moment, Regina slumped back into the chair as she made the most of this time alone. Finding time for herself this morning had be near on impossible; what with dress fitters, florists, caterers and so on constantly needing her final approval for everything. She found herself already emotionally drained.

But here she sat with five minutes spare, alone, with no one bothering her. She understood now why people said weddings were stressful and just to enjoy the moment because it comes and goes so quick. If she'd known this eight months ago when Emma proposed, she would have suggested a quick Vegas wedding in some little chapel with an organ player and a witness. Was it too late? She glanced to the clock. It was cutting it fine, but she was sure if she phoned Emma and suggested eloping, the blonde wouldn't say no.

Instead, she sighed deeply to herself. No, it was too late. Everything had been finalized and people had been paid. Emma no doubt would have started to get ready or the very least Ruby would be making sure Emma wasn't procrastinating. Regina had warned Ruby that under no circumstances, should she be standing at the alter waiting for the blonde.

The night before, Regina had checked into the hotel and this was her base for the duration. Her parents had arrived the day earlier and would also be staying at the hotel for the duration. Emma's parents were due to check in this morning and they would travel the short distance to the church together.

Regina had met Emma's parents for the first time about four months ago when they insisted that a family dinner would be the appropriate event to meet the woman who had stolen their daughter's heart.

Mary Margaret and David Nolan seemed nice, well Regina's thoughts were that they were unbelievable nice bordering on sickly sweet. Mary Margaret was one of those school teachers you see in the movie's where everything that sprouts from her mouth is positive and encouraging no end. You know the type where bluebirds magically appear on her shoulder whistling zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a dee-ay. And as for David, he had a rather charming disposition which Regina found endearing and tolerable. To an extent.

The door to her suite opened and in walked the said couple, hand in hand, beaming smiles that put Regina a little on edge. How can two people be happy all the time?

"Regina, there you are." Mary Margaret said excitedly.

The brunette grinned slightly into the mirror before slowly turning in her chair. "Mary Margaret, David. It's so lovely to see you both."

Emma's mother let go of her husband's hand and drifted towards the brunette. Her arms poised and outstretched, welcoming a hug from her future daughter in law. Regina stood up and embraced the hug. Emma's mother was slightly smaller than herself, so the hug was a little awkward but bearable. She leant back and was immediately encased by Emma's father.

"You look radiate, Regina. Just beautiful." David Nolan cooed as he let go of his daughter in law and stood back.

A pinkish tinge spread over the brunette's face, she lowered her eyes and look to the floor. She hoped Emma would think so.

"You've embarrassed the poor girl, David." Mary Margaret said, swiping at her husband's hand playfully as she circled around Regina and inspected the wedding gown. "Oh Regina, this dress is absolutely gorgeous." She reached out and felt the material before letting go and standing back next to her husband. Their hands found each other and instantly their fingers entwined.

_If this is what true love looks like, I hope Emma and I achieve it._ Regina thought to herself as the couple looked lovingly into each other's eyes before turning back to the brunette.

"How was the drive?" Regina asked, changing the subject.

"Good, until we hit Boston. I forgot what the traffic was like here on a Friday." David said.

David and Mary Margaret had traded the city life for a far more relaxed lifestyle in rural Massachusetts about a year and a half ago. The small town they lived in now had a total of six shops, one Bed n' Breakfast and a school where Mary Margaret worked. David had semi-retired from the Police force and was occupying his time by tending to the land that they had bought.

Regina nodded.

The door to the suite opened again and in waltzed Regina's hairdresser.

"Regina darling, you look gorgeous." He announced excitably as he placed his large black hairdressing box on the floor beside him. Walking over to the brunette, he gave her two "air kisses" on her cheeks before turning to Emma's parents with a broad smile plastered over his face.

"This is Phillip, my hairdresser." Regina introduced him to Emma's parents.

Nodding their heads in bewilderment at the man before them, David thrusted out his hand for Phillip to shake. "David Nolan, pleased to meet you."

Taking David's hand and shaking it, Phillip winced a little at the shear strength of the hand shake. "Ohh the pleasure is all mine." He winked to David before turning to Mary Margaret and gently taking her hand, kissing her knuckles, he purred. "Enchanté."

Mary Margaret blushed as she turned to mush.

Regina rolled her eyes and gave a subtle cough which broke the spell that Phillip had forced upon the couple.

"Oh! We should go, David." Mary Margaret announced clapping her hands together and looking to her husband. "We'll meet you down stairs, Regina.

With an affirmative nod, David clasped his hand around his wife's and squeezed perhaps a little too possessively before leading them silently out of the suite.

Turning to Philip, Regina cocked an eyebrow. "Ready, Dear?"

"I was born ready." He said, guiding the brunette back to the director's chair. Standing behind her, Philip rested his hands on her shoulders and smiled to her in the mirror.

**~{}~**

As Emma leant against the sink, she gulped down the glass of water as she glanced to the clock. After months of planning and organising their wedding, the day had finally arrived and she had two hours left before she would be a married woman.

Placing the glass on the side, she padded over to the three drawer cabinet and opened the top drawer. Picking up the small box, she opened the lid. Inside were her and Regina's wedding rings. Smiling to herself, she closed the lid with a snap and glanced over her shoulder as Ruby stumbled out of the bedroom area, giving Emma a dismissive wave and helping herself to some water from the tap. Noticing the small bottle of painkillers sitting next to the sink, she poured herself another glass of water as she popped a couple of pills in her mouth. Gulping the water, she threw her head back and swallowed the tablets.

"Remind me never to go drinking with you again, Swan." Ruby said, rubbing her forehead as she stumbled to the couch and flopped down. "Where did you get to anyway, I lost you at the club."

The blonde approached her friend and scooted her feet off the couch. They landed on the floor with a plop. "I went home, Rubes. I  _TRIED_  to find you but I figured you'd got a better offer." Emma said as she sat down next to the brunette.

"Inside voice, Swan." Ruby moaned into her arms that were crossed over her face.

Emma rolled her eyes as she brought her legs up and cradled them against her chest.

"I did have a better offer until she left with Killian." Ruby winked.

Emma chuckled. It seemed Killian had caught his fish after all.

Leaning her head against the back of the sofa, she closed her eyes and thought about the day ahead. By nightfall she would be known as Mrs Swan-Mills.

Over the last couple of months, Regina and Emma had discussed what their surname would be, both throwing around ideas until one day, when they were out grocery shopping, Emma had stopped in the aisle and blurted out "Swan-Mills" to Regina's confusion. After a couple of minutes and Emma explaining that she wasn't going crazy, she said her suggestion again. "Swan—Mills, Emma Swan-Mills" Regina had nodded, smiled and copied the blonde "Swan-Mills, Regina Swan-Mills" Both noted it had a nice ring to it and right there and then in the middle of the frozen goods aisle it was decided they would be Mrs & Mrs Swan-Mills.

"Emma we need to get our arses in gear and get ready. I promised Regina I would get you to the church on time." Ruby muttered, realising that they literally had less than two hours to get ready and drive to the church. "Your woman can be quiet intimidating when she wants to."

Emma glanced to her friend. "A threat or a promise?"

Ruby nodded and gulped. "I think a threat; she mentioned something about ripping my heart out, if I didn't deliver you intact and on time."

Emma gulped, she knew Regina would make good on any promise. She sprung to her feet and pulled her friend up. "No, no that was a promise, Rubes. Trust me!"

**~{}~**

Regina turned her head from side to side as she looked into the mirror. Phillip had worked wonders and she was beyond happy about how her hair had turned out. She smiled widely as her eyes found Phillips standing behind her, hands poised on his hips.

"Phillip, you are truly a treasure. Thank you, I love it."

Phillip nodded and whipped out his styling comb, he'd spotted a loose stand just beyond her ear. He skilfully combed it in place and reached for the hairspray. Spraying all over Regina's hair once more, he stood back and exclaimed. "It is now perfect!"

One more head tilt and Regina nodded.

Phillip quickly gathered his belongings as Regina stood and moved to the full length mirror in the corner of the room. Twirling on the spot, she was lost in the moment and didn't notice her parents entering the suite. Phillip and her parents stood in silence as they watched the brunette for a moment before Henry Mills gave a throat clearing couch and smiled. Regina glanced in the mirror to where she could see the three standing together. Turning around, she blushed innocently.

"Sweetheart, you have never looked as stunning as you do now."

"Thank you, Daddy."

Cora subtly wiped the tears forming in her eyes as she approached her daughter. "Regina, darling you..I am lost for words...my baby daughter has grown into a beautiful woman." She held out her hand for Regina to take and led her to the small leather couch and they sat down together. Cora reached into her small clutch bag and pulled out a small box. She turned it toward Regina and opened the lid, revealing a fine gold necklace.

"This was your Grandmothers necklace; it was given to me on my wedding day." She looked to her husband and then back to her daughter. "I'm giving it to now."

Regina reached for the necklace and held it delicately in her hands, looking at how fine the chain was. "Thank you, Mother."

Cora nodded. "You're very welcome, my darling." She kissed her daughter on the cheek.

At that moment the suite door opened and in walked Katherine, who was Regina's only bridesmaid. "The cars are downstairs, it's time to go."

Henry took his daughter's hand and crooked his elbow with Regina's. "Sweetheart, just a moment." He nodded to his wife and Katherine to go ahead before turning back to his daughter. He took her hands and gently squeezed them.

"Regina, I must say this. I have never been as proud of you as I am now. You have grown from a young lady into a beautiful strong woman. You have overcome your demons, fought hard and true to yourself and met someone who completes you in every way possible. I have no doubt, Emma loves you and your love for her is equally measured. This has always been what I have wanted for you. To find your happiness and reap in the rewards it will offer. And you will, you have your mother's determination in your heart to succeed. Enjoy today and the future you will have with Emma. You deserve all the happiness this world has to offer, as long as you stay true to yourself." Henry was tearing up, wiping his eyes, he smiled lovingly to his daughter.

"Thank you, Daddy." Regina murmured softly as tears threatened to form in her eyes.

Henry let out a deep breath and took his daughter's elbow again. "Are you ready, my sweet child?"

Regina nodded and smiled, she was ready.

With that, they walked out of the suite hand in hand to the awaiting cars and Emma who would be waiting for her at the church.

**~{}~**

The ceremony it's self was a blur for both Regina and Emma. Before they knew it, they had said their vows, exchanged rings and kissed. Now they were standing together under a tree in the nearby park, waiting for the photographer to finish the friend and family shots.

"Gina, I haven't had a chance to say how beautiful you look. You took my breath away when I first saw you in the church." Emma lent in and kissed her wife on the lips. "But you do that every minute I'm with you." She whispered into the brunette's ear.

The brunette blushed as she ran her fingers down either side of Emma's cheeks and then draped her arms over the blonde's shoulders. "You do the same to me, Em. From the very first moment I saw you all those years ago to now. I fall more in love with you every passing day."

It was Emma's turn to blush. "I love you now and forever, Gina."

As the couple kissed so deeply, they were unaware that the photographer had been capturing the moment and was busily snapping away. It was only when they stepped apart and turned to the photographer who had shouted out he was all done, that they returned to the outside world.

With the photos completed, it was time to move on to the reception. It was being held back at the hotel. Emma and Regina had driven off in the yellow bug much to Regina's disgust but Emma had insisted that it would be the perfect getaway car. So the brunette relented and they drove back the short distance to the hotel. Complete with tin cans dangling from the back bumper and a crudely written "Just Married" sign taped to the back window.

Emma and Regina headed up to their suite for a little time for themselves before their guests would arrive. Emma the ever romantic had picked up her wife and carried her over the threshold and safely deposited her on the king size bed. The brunette stretched out as the blonde disappeared out the room and returned shortly after holding to champagne glasses. Regina sat up and took one of the glasses and waited for the blonde to join her. Emma clinked her glass against Regina's and spoke.

"Here's to you Mrs Swan-Mills." She leant toward the brunette and kissed her on the lips. The kiss deep, lingering and perfect.

They both took a sip before Regina took Emma's glass off her and placed it on the floor at the foot of the bed. Turning back to her wife with a mischievous glint in her eye and a smirk that they both knew would mean one thing.

**~()~**

It was the pounding on the suite door and Ruby's constant calling out for them both that startled the pair from their slumber. Emma threw back the covers and quickly threw on her underpants and tank top she'd found amongst their luggage. She trotted out the bedroom, past the couch in the living area and swung the door open wide with a face like thunder.

"What! Ruby you better have a good reason for this."

Ruby's eyes widened and quickly looked away before turning back to the blonde with her eyes shielded "Um...everyone has arrived and waiting for you two.. And well your Mother is going insane with worry. She thinks you two have been murdered or kidnapped." She brought her fingers away from her eyes and looked past the blonde to Regina who was tightening the belt of her grey satin dressing gown. "Oh Hi Regina." She casually said with a wave.

Emma glanced at her wife and then looked down at herself more specifically what she was or not wearing before hiding behind the door, only her head poke around the frame.

"Okay give us twenty minutes, we'll be down soon." Emma replied.

Ruby nodded and walked away as Emma closed the door and looked back to her wife.

Indeed twenty or so minutes and many false starts later the pair arrived down stairs in the function room. The hotel supplied host insisted that they needed to be introduced to their guests, which was responded with eye rolls from the pair of them. After a moment, they entwined their hands and walked into the room to a round of applause and cheering. They made their way to their seats at the top table.

Ruby whispered to the couple it was about time and such extra-curriculum activities are meant to be performed that evening. This earned a hard glare from Emma and Regina. The toasts and speeches went accordingly and true to Ruby's word she told the embarrassing story of how she met Emma at the police academy and further embarrassing stories of the blonde since. The meal was perfect and now Emma and Regina stood face to face on the dance floor swaying to their first dance.

"Have you been taking lessons, darling?" Regina whispered into the blonde's ear.

Emma blushed and took a step backwards, twirling Regina in the process and manoeuvred into the brunette. Showing off what she'd learnt.

"You know all those 'With the guys' Nights?"

Regina nodded.

"Well actually I have been taking lessons at the Dance School on Charles Street."

"You've been going out every Wednesday for eight months." Regina answered.

Emma nodded, she twirled Regina again. "I wanted to surprise you and not embarrass myself in the process."

Regina blushed as she pulled the blonde towards her, kissing her softly on the lips. This earned a cheer from the guests who were watching. The pair moved apart and blushed together as they glanced around at everyone. Before long, the dance floor was full of couples dancing.

The rest of the night went according to plan, no surprises, nothing that would ruin the evening. Long after the guests left, Regina and Emma sat in the downstairs bar toasting themselves before heading back up to their suite.

**~()~**

Morning arrived and Emma and Regina still hadn't surfaced. They lay naked and curled up together when Emma's mother found them. She had been given the task or more importantly made it her business to make sure the newlyweds were up and ready to join the families downstairs for breakfast. She certainly didn't count on finding her daughter and daughter in law naked in bed for the whole world to see, when she burst into the bedroom. She stood with her mouth hanging open and an utter look of horror on her face. All the while muttering quite loudly "Oh no, uh uh, this is not right." Over and over until Emma and Regina woke and scrambled the bed covers over their naked bodies, while Regina screamed to Emma to get her Mother out of their bedroom.

**This will always be remembered as the moment when Regina realised her dislike for Mary Margaret. That woman had no self-control.**


	3. Chapter three

**MOMENTS OF THE HEART**

**CHAPTER THREE**

"Passports check. Travel documents, check. Luggage check. One incredible and beautiful wife, check." Emma chuckled to herself as she glanced over at Regina who was instructing and going over with Ruby the dietary regime of the cat they had rescued about a year ago.

Ruby was house and cat sitting for the couple while they were away on their third wedding anniversary in Cancun, Mexico.

"We've got everything, babe." Emma announced as she dropped her mobile into her hand luggage.

Regina gave Emma a nod as she turned back to Ruby. "If for any reason Rocinante does become ill, the vet's number is on the list of emergency contacts stuck to the side of the fridge." They glanced simultaneously to the fridge and then back to one another.

The blonde wheeled their luggage past the pair; handing Regina their passports and travel documents before opening their front door. "Any problems Rubes, you'll figure it out." She nonchalantly threw out over her shoulder.

And that was Emma's attitude to the cat; they had a love hate relationship. The cat loved Regina and hated Emma.

Regina glared at the blonde who just shrugged in return. Sighing deeply, Regina tried to ignore her wife's comments. It wasn't a secret that Emma wasn't fond of the cat.

Instantly feeling the tension building between them, Ruby quickly defused the situation by interrupting the standoff between the blonde and brunette.

"Right, feed the cat twice a day, but not too much. She has her medication with the evening feed. Don't disturb while she's sleeping, let her wake on her own. She's litter trained and doesn't like to go outside before noon. Vets number on the fridge if there are any problems. I think I've got it." She gave a thumbs up to the couple.

Regina nodded and smiled in satisfaction as she turned to Emma who was rolling her eyes dramatically.

"Thank God it's only a cat, I'd hate to see what you'd be like with a baby, you guys." Ruby chuckled to herself.

The couple looked at one another with knowing smiles.

Ruby picked up on the look and stared open mouthed. "Oh my God, you're totally having a baby!" She clapped her hands together loudly.

Regina held out her hand for Emma to take as she moved away from the door and back to her wife.

Resting her right hand over Emma's stomach, Regina smiled. "Emma is in her first trimester, Ruby. Its early days, still. We weren't going to say anything until we got back from Mexico."

"You can't say anything to anyone, Rubes." Emma pointed to her friend and colleague.

"Hang on, so I am the first to know?" Ruby asked.

The couple nodded simultaneously and smiled.

"Actually, we were going to ask if you'd like to be the baby's godmother." Regina said.

"Oh my God! YES I'd love to be your baby's godmother." Ruby said as she brought the couple in for a group hug. "You guys, I'm so happy for you. This is absolutely fantastic news."

"Remember Rubes, not a word to anyone...I mean it." Emma warned.

Ruby sealed her mouth and signalled a key locking it. "Promise!"

The moment was interrupted by the car horn of the taxi waiting outside. Emma and Regina had forgotten it had been waiting for them. Emma stepped away from the hug and grabbed their luggage and wheeled it out to the awaiting taxi. Regina gave Ruby a quick hug and gathered up her cabin bag and slung it over her shoulder as she walked outside to the taxi.

Ruby waved to the couple as she leant against the front door and watched the taxi disappear up the cobbled lane.

**~{}~**

The advantages of arriving at the resort mid-morning meant they hadn't wasted a day travelling. After the couple checked into and headed to their room, they unpacked quickly before deciding to take in the view from their large balcony terrace.

Emma poured them both another water. Since she had found out she was pregnant, Regina had insisted that the blonde follow their doctors instructions, no alcohol, no red meat and plenty of folic acid and vitamins. Oh how the blonde had missed alcohol and red meat but she had another person to think of, the little bean growing steadily inside her.

_About a year after their wedding the idea of expanding their family was brought up. Emma had been on patrol walking the beat when she happened to stroll past an inner city park. Two women were sitting on a bench watching over a child who was about four or five. The small family caught Emma's eyes. Stopping at the chainmail fence, Emma watched the little boy continuously slide down a slide, run around to the ladder, climb it and repeat the action over and over. She looked to the women and realised quickly they were about the same ages as her and Regina._

_It was the sudden and loud wailing from the boy that alerted Emma that something was wrong. Her head whipped around to the boy. He was now sitting on the ground, holding his knee. His cries for "mommy" panged in Emma's heart._

_Emma watched as the younger woman of the two got up and walked over to the boy and console him. Picking him up, she walked back to the other woman, all the while the young boy sobbed heavily on the woman's shoulder. The older woman stood up and took a look at the boy's knee; she kissed it better and hugged her little family. Tears soon disappeared as the promise of ice-cream was mentioned. Emma watched as the little family disappeared out the far end of the park._

_An overwhelming sense of want washed over Emma. That could be her and Regina one day. One day soon_.

_Emma thought about what she had seen for the rest of the day until she got home. Regina had been working in her studio for most of the day. She'd acquired an exclusive client list and was working mainly free-lance now days, which meant she was home more often. Something that suited them both. Climbing the stairs, Emma stood on the top step and watched Regina work. Imagining Regina as a mother wasn't difficult. The brunette exuded maternal tendencies in every waking hour._

_Regina eventually turned around and she could see the wistful expression etched over the blondes face. The blonde was obviously caught in a day dream. Placing her camera down, Regina called the blondes name._

_Blinking rapidly, Emma came out of her reverie and simply said. "It's time for a baby."_

_Regina moved closer to the blonde and held her close. "Pardon?"_

" _I mean, we need to expand our little family."_

_Emma then told the brunette what she had seen today. She wanted that; Regina, her and a baby that they could bring into this world and love, spoil rotten and watch grow into an adult. She wanted her very own family._

_Regina at first didn't say anything, she led Emma to the old brown leather couch that sat in the corner of her studio and they sat down together. Although it hadn't been something she had thought about, the idea of them being parents did excite Regina. She looked Emma in the eye and cupped her face._

" _I want nothing more to have a baby with you, Em." She kissed the blonde tenderly and held the blonde close._

_They sat on the couch together for over an hour discussing different options and both agreed IVF would be the only way. Emma felt that Regina should carry as she had the less stressful job and Regina agreed. They would organise to see an IVF specialist in the coming days and get started on the process._

_They had three attempts to get pregnant. That's what the female doctor at the fertility clinic had explained to Regina and Emma. She had explained the procedure and organised follow up appointments with Regina. The couple realised that this was going to be a lengthy task but the want and need for a baby never dwindled._

_Emma attended Regina's first appointment, this was just a general appointment to make sure she was healthy and that everything would be okay during the pregnancy._

_**And this was the moment they discovered Regina wouldn't be able to carry.** _

_Leaving the clinic heartbroken, the couple's dream of having their own child was over before it started._

_It wasn't until months later when Emma refused to give up, that they returned to the clinic. She would carry the baby and if it turned out she couldn't carry as well, then they would be back to square one. But that was something Emma wouldn't conceive of._

_Emma and Regina sat in silence as they waited to hear the results from the general check-up. The same doctor as before eventually returned with a manila folder tucked under her arm, her face displaying absolutely no emotion. This was exactly how it had been the last time, the couple thought. The doctor opened the file and scanned the results before she looked to the couple._

" _Everything seems to be normal Emma. Congratulations."_

_The women left the clinic, ready for the next phase. Seeking a donor._

_They spent many hours scrutinizing the donor catalogue, going over every donor with a fine tooth comb. Both women felt it was a little strange; the idea of picking someone out of a catalogue to provide the seed. Almost like shopping for shoes Emma would equate, making light of the situation. But nearly five months later, they picked their donor._

_So they returned to the clinic, Emma went through the procedure and now it was a waiting game. When she returned almost a month later, it was revealed the procedure had failed. They left heart broken. But not giving up on their dream. It just meant the dream of a family would take longer than expected._

Which is what resulted in the moment now, nearly two years later, where Emma was six weeks pregnant.

Regina sat up on the double sun bed and sipped at her water as she looked over to her wife. Emma was stretched out like a cat, taking in the afternoon sun. Although the blonde wasn't showing as yet, Regina wondered how long it would be before she was. Perhaps another couple of months. But Regina could see that Emma's body was already subtly starting to change. Her breasts definitely looked a little fuller. Perhaps a cup size bigger.

"Are you ogling me again, woman?" Emma said, lifting her sunglasses as she glanced to her wife.

"Can you blame me, your body is changing and I find it absolutely beautiful. You're beautiful Emma."

Emma smiled as she placed her sunglasses over her eyes again. She took a hold of Regina's hand and kissed her knuckles.

**~{}~**

They had been at the resort for three days now and in that time they hadn't done much, except eat and laze on their private terrace. Although they were enjoying relaxing in the sun, they were both getting a little bored. So Regina suggested an excursion to a local town that was popular with tourists. Taking a taxi into the town centre, the couple spent a few hours walking about exploring the small town.

Resting in a small square within the town centre, Emma noticed the locals were drinking the well water.

"Baby, I'm going to have a drink. It's so hot." Emma said to Regina as she walked over to the well.

Watching the locals draw the water from the well, she decided it was her turn. She pulled on the rope and the bucket of water rose to the top of the well. She cupped her hands into the water and drew out enough to drink from. Oh it was lovely, cold and definitely had minerals in it. She scooped her hands again and drank some more, oh that hit the spot. She scooped her hands again and then poured some on the back of her neck and wet her hair just a little before having one more drink from the well. Dropping the bucket back into the well, she walked back to Regina who was sitting on a set of stones stairs, studying a brochure and map of the town. She looked up when Emma returned.

"Did you bring me back a drink?" She asked.

"ahhh, no. I drank from the well. I um...can get you some darling, it's lovely and cold." Emma said.

Regina looked to the well and shook her head. "You shouldn't drink from untreated water, Emma. You can end up with a stomach bug. It says so in the tourist guide, here." She pointed to where she had just read in the brochure about tourists drinking only from bottled water.

"I didn't drink much, I should be alright." Emma shrugged.

They continued exploring the town and by nightfall were back in their hotel room. They'd enjoyed a room service dinner on their private terrace and sat out for a while enjoying the nightlife. They finally retired to their bed just before midnight; and that's when Emma felt the first stomach cramps.

By morning, Emma was feeling exhausted, she'd been up most of the night either being sick or running to the toilet. With the covers bunched closely around her, she shivered uncontrollably, yet she was sweating and definitely running a fever.

Regina had a restless night as well because she was concerned for her wife. First thing in the morning, she'd left the hotel resort and found a pharmacy where she bought packets of paracetamol for Emma. When she returned, Emma was doubled up on the bed. Giving Emma the tablets, she laid the blonde back down on the bed and told her to rest. Hopefully the pain relief would bring her temperature down.

Emma slept for a few hours and in that time Regina had informed the hotel doctor of Emma's condition. It was just after midday when there was a knock to their suite door. Regina had been sitting on the terrace and made her way back through the suite to answer the door.

"Hello, I am the Doctor; I've come to see your friend." He's said as he stepped into the room and saw Emma asleep on the bed.

"My wife." Regina corrected him. "She's running a fever, sweating, she's got stomach cramps and has been sick a number of times."

He nodded and walked over to the small round table to set out the contents of his medical bag. "If you could wake your wife, I'll examine her."

Regina gently woke the blonde and explained that the doctor was here to see her. Emma sat up on the bed and gave the doctor a weak smile. Giving the doctor space to start his examination, Regina moved out of the way and sat down at the small table, her gaze never leaving her wife. She nervously watched the doctor start his examination.

The doctor went through his routine, checking the blonde over and asking her what she had ate and drank over the last twenty-four hours. As Emma recalled everything, it was Regina who mentioned the well water. With a frown, the doctor turned from Emma to Regina and asked where she drank it. The brunette explained that it was in the nearby town that they had visited yesterday. With a nod and tisk, the doctor looked back to Emma and spoke.

"My dear, you have gastroenteritis caused by the untreated well water. How much you drink?"

"I had three or four hand scoopfuls." Emma weakly said.

Nodding and writing some notes down, the doctor looked back to Emma. "You'll be fine in a few days. Obviously it's important to stay hydrated."

Opening his bag, the doctor pulled out a small box and handed it to Regina. "Mix this with water, it will help her recover quicker and replace the electrolytes she has already lost."

Regina nodded then asked. "This won't affect the baby; Emma is about six weeks pregnant."

With a shake of his head, the doctor smiled. "No, she's lucky she only had a few scoopfuls, if she'd been drinking it for days then I would suggest going to the hospital, to be checked over." He paused and looked to Emma. "You have what the tourists call "Cancun Belly." He chuckled to himself. "It's from drinking the untreated well water. That is why we encourage that all tourists drink only from bottled water. You are not used to our water, like the locals."

Gathering up his belongings and bidding the women farewell, the doctor showed himself out of the suite. As soon as they were alone, Regina sat down on the bed next to Emma and stroked the hair off her face.

"Rest my darling; I'll make up one of these drinks for you." She said, kissing her blonde wife on the forehead.

True to the doctor's word, Emma was well again after three days. The gastroenteritis had passed through her system and she was feeling one hundred percent better and not to mention famished.

Having not eaten properly for three days, Emma was extremely hungry and would eat her own arm if she could. So that evening, the couple went to a local buffet restaurant where Emma literally took their slogan 'All you can Eat' seriously. Regina couldn't believe how much the blonde had devoured in the time they were there.

Emma's excuse was that she was eating for two and also that's what three days of "Cancun Belly" would do to you.

The following days seemed to fly by as the couple made the most of their time in Cancun celebrating their wedding anniversary. By the end of the holiday, they were in a way sorry to leave Mexico and return back to their life in Boston. But it was the little bean growing inside Emma that spurred their excitement to return home and see where their life would take them.

**~{}~**

It was a few weeks after their holiday in Cancun when both Emma and Regina's parents found out that the couple were expecting a baby. It happened at a dinner party that the couple had hosted for their families to reveal the good news. Two days previously the couple had attended the first scan appointment at the clinic.

**This was the moment when the couple first saw their baby.**

With Emma and Regina unable to contain their joy any longer, they knew it was time to announce the news to their parents.

So here the six of them sat at the dining table enjoying a meal that Regina had cooked. Regina's plan was to eat first and then inform their parents of the good news. But it didn't quite work out that way. It was Mary Margaret and Cora who noticed the difference in Emma.

Regina was upstairs showing the men her latest photographs while Emma was clearing away the dishes from the table when Mary Margaret and Cora stopped her. Together they took the plates and placed them in the kitchen sink before leading her back to couch. They sat the blonde down, both mothers sitting either side of her.

Mary Margaret took a hold of the blonde's hands and gently stroked them. "Sweetheart, you're pregnant, aren't you?" She couldn't hind her joy any longer.

Emma glanced to Cora who nodded in confirmation and equal joy.

"I don't know what you mean." Emma panicked.

"Dear, your mother and I noticed the glow that surrounds you. It's the pregnancy glow. Your skin is more supple and it suits you. You can't hide this, not with us." Cora smiled, patting Emma's knee.

"Also Regina is treating you with such delicacy. As if you will break. You won't break darling." Mary Margaret said, turning to Regina who was walking back downstairs with her father and father in law.

Regina noticed the older women sitting with Emma on the couch. "Everything okay, Mother?"

Cora stood and walked around to Regina; she stroked her daughter's cheek and gave her a kiss. "Congratulations, my darling."

Emma looked sheepishly to her wife and then watched as her own Mother literally bear hug the brunette and also congratulate her. David was stood behind the brunette and asked what he had missed. Mary Margaret informed her husband that Emma was pregnant. He smiled to his daughter and sat down beside her, giving her a hug.

"Come sit Regina, let us hear all about it." Cora led her daughter back to the couch.

David moved for his daughter in law so she could sit next to her wife. He stood with Henry as the good news was relayed.

Cora and Mary Margaret both nodded and agreed Emma was at that point where she was starting to show. They explained that they had been trying for a while now and this was their second attempt. They explained that the first attempt hadn't taken and that originally they had decided Regina was going to carry their child but they had found out that she unable to have children. This is when Cora held her daughter because she could tell the brunette was still was reeling with this decision.

Eventually copies of the scan were given out to both set of parents and they marvelled at the clarity and quality of the photo. Cora and Mary Margaret both then spoke about their own pregnancies and gave the couple tips and tricks they found worked during their pregnancies.

With the evening drawing to a close, their parents eventually left and that was when the couple had decided to call it a night.

Regina was curled into the blonde, her fingers tracing gently over Emma's stomach before she kissed it and snuggled closer to the blonde.

"How did they find out, darling?" Regina asked as she started tracing her fingers around Emma's stomach again.

"Our mothers noticed a "glow" about me. They'd said it was the pregnancy glow. I didn't know there was any such thing." Emma said, lacing her hand over Regina's. Together they traced their fingers over the blonde's stomach.

Regina smiled as she kissed Emma's stomach again before kissing the blonde on the lips. "Goodnight my darlings." She dreamingly said, snuggling into Emma's chest. Her arm draped protectively over the blondes stomach.

**~{}~**

As the weeks and months went by, Emma's body naturally changed dramatically. Emma was struggling with the pregnancy and would be glad when the "kid" (the name she bestowed upon their child) was born.

Emma was now on extended maternity leave for the duration and there was a possibility it would be indefinite after the birth. Regina had expressed her concern with Emma going back to the police force afterwards and although they had argued, Emma eventually agreed that it was probably for the best. If she wanted to go back into the force in the future, Regina would have her full support then.

Emma would spend her days preparing the apartment for the baby's arrival and Regina would help when she wasn't working, until one day, when they were stood together in the extended bedroom area and Emma started to cry. Her hormones had really started to affect her now and she seemed to cry at the drop of a hat.

"Darling, what's wrong?" Regina asked, placing the instruction manual for the crib down on the bed.

Emma flopped down on the end of the bed, tears streaming down her face.

"We can't raise the baby here, there's not enough room. Kid won't even have their own room." Emma said through her tears.

The brunette sat down beside her blonde wife and wrapped her arms around her. Although she had previously thought about this issue, she figured with some clever redesigning there was possibly enough room. But now as she looked around the area, she realised with all of the baby's furniture in place, it was looking increasingly difficult. Kissing the blonde on the cheek, she entwined their hands. "We have three months before the baby is born. We should move."

"It's cutting it fine." Emma said, sniffing back her tears.

"But do able, darling." Regina smiled.

So the next month they focused all their time on finding a house for their new little family and their future. After viewing many houses, they managed to dwindle the list down to three possibilities. And finally with literally weeks before Emma's due date, they had managed to secure a properly and were set to move in.

**After five years of living in the "White House" this was the moment when one chapter of their life ended a new one began. Their new beginning was a Victorian brownstone house, in a leafy suburb of Boston.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N - Naww a fluffy chapter. Thank you to everyone for your continued support and don't be afraid to leave me a little something in the comments box. I love hearing people's thoughts. Also I'd like to mention, I am hoping to update this story every Monday (fingers crossed). ~ RamblingtowardsEcstasy


	4. Chapter Four

** MOMENTS OF THE HEART **

**CHAPTER FOUR**  

Emma waddled through the front door and dropped the small bag of shopping by her feet. Grimacing slightly, she held onto the door frame for support while the other instinctively held her stomach. Although the baby had been active all day, moving and kicking against her abdomen, this twinge of discomfort felt a little different to the others that she had endured today. But Emma quickly dismissed it as the baby having a bad day.

“Seriously Kid, enough with the kicking. I know you want out and so do I. But you have another week to go.” She said, looking down to her extended stomach and patting it gently.

Gingerly bending down and picking up the bag of shopping, she closed the front door before continuing to waddle through the house towards the kitchen.

They had been living in their new house for just under a month now and Emma was finally starting to feel at home.  Although the house was in need of some renovation, they had decided to wait until after the birth to proceed with any work.  But in all honesty, Emma wasn’t bothered that the house wasn’t exactly perfect, she was just happy that they finally had a family home where they could raise their child together. It was Regina who had grand plans for their house and insisted that they convene with a builder and designer to create the perfect home that they wanted.

As Emma finished packing away the groceries, she could feel herself becoming increasingly exhausted. Leaning against the kitchen counter for a moment, she decided that a little nap on the couch would do the trick. If she rested for half an hour, she would still have enough time to prepare and cook dinner before her wife was due home.  Waddling slowly to the lounge and making herself comfortable on the couch, she quickly drifted off to sleep.

It was hours later when Regina finally made it home. Softly closing the front door behind her, she dropped her keys on the small sideboard and noticed that all the lights were turned off. A little strange she thought as she knew Emma was home.  Her yellow bug was parked on the street outside their home. Flicking the lights on as she moved through the house in search of her wife, she came across her blonde wife asleep on the couch in the lounge. Kneeling down to the blonde, she kissed her softly on the forehead and waited for Emma to stir.

“Baby, you’re home. How long have I been asleep?” Emma said, blinking rapidly as she tried to gain a sense of time and her whereabouts. 

“Darling, it’s seven in the evening.” Regina said as she swept the hair from her wife’s face. Kissing her fingers and touching Emma’s stomach softly, she stood. “I'll make us some dinner. You stay here and relax.”

Struggling to sit up, Emma shuffled on the couch, leant forward toward the coffee table and picked up her mobile to confirm the time.  She hadn’t meant to sleep for two hours. Feeling annoyed with herself for sleeping longer than she wanted, she wasn’t happy just to sit here and do nothing. Remembering that the ingredients she had bought for dinner where in the fridge, she pushed herself off the couch and stood.

Feeling her baby give an almighty kick, she sighed deeply to herself before waddling toward the kitchen. Suddenly she felt wetness between her legs.  Odd she thought and then without warning a flood of liquid fell from between her legs and then a sharp cramp pulsated through her. Holding her stomach as the cramp past, she looked to the pool of liquid around her feet.

Fuck her waters had just broken!

Regina re-entered the lounge and was oblivious to the scene before her. She was about to ask Emma if she wanted tuna or salmon with her kale salad when she stopped suddenly and noticed Emma staring at the pool of liquid she was standing in.

Emma glanced to her wife. “My waters have broken.”

Dropping the bowl of kale in shock, Regina disappeared from the lounge. Emma could hear the brunette bounding up the stairs to their bedroom and then heard her pacing around the room before quickly descend down the stairs and enter the lounge holding Emma’s hospital bag.

“We need to go!” Regina urged, guiding the blonde out of the lounge to the hallway.

Rocinante their cat made her presence known by passing between their legs as they hurried toward the front door. She knew it was feeding time and was relentless in her pursuit to have her owners acknowledge the fact. Regina tried in vain to shoo the cat away but it was to no prevail. Eventually she picked Rocinante up and opened the front door before placing her outside and shooing her away again. “Sorry Rocinante, you need to fend for yourself tonight. Ma’s having a baby.”  

Realising that this was the first time Regina referred to her as ‘Ma’ Emma smiled as she appeared in the doorway carrying her hospital bag.  Taking the bag off the blonde, Regina went to close the door when the blonde reminded her that she would need the keys to the bug. Darting back inside, Regina retrieved the keys from the hook in the kitchen before joining Emma on the steps of their property with a slam of the front door.

Guiding the blonde down the stairs, Regina ran ahead and opened the passenger door for her wife before returning to Emma’s side.

“Babe, you need to slow down.” Emma quipped as Regina helped her into the car.  

“Em, were having a baby! What if Kid decides now is the time and you end up giving birth in the back of the bug.” Regina panicked as she ran her fingers through her hair.

Reaching out for her wife, Emma chuckled to herself.  Never in her wildest dreams did she think that Regina would be this nervous. She always thought that it would be her.

“Sweetheart, Dr Foster said that it could be hours after my waters broke before I could go into Labour. So relax, take your time and get me and kid to hospital in one piece. Okay?”  

Listening to her wife and recalling their doctor’s advice, Regina steadied herself. She knew Emma was right.  She had also remembered how her own mother explained that she had been in labour for twenty-five hours with her. So they had plenty of time.  Letting go of her wife's hand and carefully closing the car door, Regina walked around to the driver’s side and got in. Looking to her wife, she smiled excitedly.

 “Feeling better, babe?” Emma asked as she struggled with her seatbelt.

 Regina nodded as she took over and buckled her wife in.

“Yes. I’m going to keep calm and not panic. Everything will be fine.” She kissed Emma on the cheek as she turned the key in the ignition. “But I will feel a lot better once this is over with.”  

“You and me both.” Emma wistfully said as she rubbed her stomach.  

**And that was the first moment Emma had seen Regina truly panicked. Ever.**

**~{}~**  

 

After the drive to the hospital and Emma being admitted, Regina found herself feeling a lot more relaxed. Granted she was naturally nervous, anxious and excited for their new arrival but she now realised Emma was in the best place. Their doctor had examined the blonde and said that they would be in for a long night. Regina had left her wife and gone on the hunt for some food. But she had inadvertently ended up outside sitting on a bench, craving a cigarette.

It had been several years since she smoked and yet here she sat wanting nothing more.   

Bumming a cigarette off a young man who was milling about outside the hospital, she lit it without hesitation. As she handed back the man’s lighter, she took the first drag and felt the chemicals mixing around inside of her. Coughing harshly, she looked to the cigarette and for a moment considered snuffing it out on the bottom of her shoe but the instant relief she found from that one drag pulled her into taking another lug.  Coughing again, she quickly relaxed into the motion and continued on. She had nearly finished when she saw Emma's parents walking quickly in her direction.  Toeing the remaining cigarette with her boot, she stood. The after taste stuck to her tongue. It was horrible but yet, Regina felt like she needed more.  

“Regina, we got your message and came as quick as possible. How’s she doing?” Mary Margaret asked.  

“She’s fine. The doctor checked her over and he feels it will be a long labour. I was just about to grab something to eat. But I’ll take you to her.” Regina said as the three walked toward the entrance.

Riding the elevator in silence, the brunette led them back to the maternity ward where Emma was. Upon entering, Emma was gripping onto the end of the bed, grimacing in pain. Regina was instantly by her side, rubbing her back and directing Emma with the breathing techniques they had learnt in the antenatal classes.

As Emma straightened up, she held her back and mumbled a greeting to her parents before she started pacing the room.  “They never mentioned that the cramps hurt like a bitch.” She complained to no one specifically as she climbed back onto her bed.

“How along are you?” Her mother asked.  

“Doctor says I’m two centimetres dilated.” She frowned.  

“Oh you’ve got a way to go, sweetheart.” Her mother quipped.  

Emma sighed as she rode out the rest of the cramp and glanced to her wife. “Did you get something to eat, babe?”  

 Regina shook her head and shrugged. “No I got a bit of air instead and then your parents found me.”

 

**~{}~**

Emma was becoming increasingly agitated and uncomfortable on the bed; she squirmed and shuffled in the centre as Regina tenderly rubbed her back in loose unconscious circles. Suddenly and without warning, Emma called out and tightly grabbed the brunette’s hand. Regina squeaked out in pain as her knuckles turned pink and then white. Trying in vain to remove her hand from Emma’s grasp, Regina spoke.

 “Emma perhaps you should consider having some drugs or at least some gas and air for the pain. I hate seeing you like.” Regina murmured as she shook her hands to regain circulation.

At this point in time she would give anything a try.  Emma grimaced and nodded slowly as the contraction passed. Pushing the nurse call buzzer, she tried to get comfortable again in the bed. It wasn’t long before a nurse walked into the room and Emma asked for something to help with the pain. The nurse left and returned a few minutes later with the doctor. Examining her again, he advised against the medication and suggested that walking would be more beneficial.  She was only five centimetres dilated and when he was next due to see her, they could possibly use the gas and air.

So the couple walked the corridors of the maternity ward and only stopped every so often when a contraction rippled through the blonde.  Regina felt like they must have covered miles in that time. The contractions were still strong and steady but were still too far apart.

Hours later, it was time for the doctor to check Emma again. She was now eight centimetres dilated and the contractions were more often, about every five minutes apart.

“Emma, we need to get you prepared. Your baby is coming.” The doctor said, writing some notes down on the clipboard and hanging it back on the end of the bed.

 

**~{}~**  

 

Henry Daniel Swan-Mills was born early hours of the next morning, healthy in structure and in weight. His mop of brown hair thick and as Emma said at the time he looked fully grown already. The actual birth was quick and without any trouble.  

“He has your eyes, Em.” Regina cooed, brushing the thick brown hair away from Henry’s eyes.

The blonde glanced to her wife who was sitting in the armchair next to the bed.  Emma reached out to her baby and allowed Henry to grasp his tiny hand around her finger. She smiled widely as her son tightened his hand around her finger.

Regina had tears brimming in her eyes.

She finally felt at home.

She now had a family of her own.

A purpose.

 

**And in that moment she made a promise to herself. She would never allow anyone to ever hurt the two most important people in her life. Her wife Emma and their son Henry.** **Also in that moment, she realised just how possessive and protective she was.  And to be honest, that scared her just a little.**

 

**~{}~**  

 “Close your eyes darling, I have a surprise for you and Henry.” The brunette beamed. 

Frowning slightly, Emma reluctantly did as she was told. Closing her eyes tightly, she waited for the next direction from her wife. Henry murmured softly in her arms and the blonde opened her eyes suddenly. Regina took her son from the blonde and cradled him close to her chest before softly kissing his forehead. The blonde closed her eyes again and sighed deeply.

As she pushed open the nursery door, Regina stepped out the way and glanced to her wife.

“Walk into the room, Em.”  

Not entirely convinced that she wouldn’t bump into anything, Emma reluctantly shuffled forward while waving her outstretched arms in front of her. The brunette chuckled softly to herself as she followed her wife into the room. Brushing past the blonde, Regina placed Henry down in his new crib and turned back to her wife.

“Open your eyes, sweetheart.”  

Opening her eyes, Emma’s initial reaction was a look of astonishment.  Glancing around the now finished nursery, she stood in silent wonderment. How was this possible? Only two days ago the room had bare walls, no furnishing and if she was being honest resembled more of a junk room than a nursery.

“Gina, it’s absolutely stunning, but how?”  

“When I wasn’t at the hospital, I was here doing this...” The brunette gestured around the room. “I worked through the night when you and Henry were asleep.  

“But you were there when I woke in the morning?” 

Regina nodded yes. “I would work until about five, drive back to the hospital so I could be there when you woke.”

Emma had tears in her eyes; she didn’t know what to say.  

The brunette moved closer to her wife and embraced tightly. Emma immediately nuzzled her head into the brunette’s nape.  “I love you, Emma. You and Henry. I promise to make you both happy for the rest of our lives.”  

“I love you too, Regina. I always have and I always will.”  

**And that was the moment when unofficially the renovations started to take place.**

 

Over the coming months, the couple did indeed sit down with a designer and builder to propose their vision for their home. Although, it seemed to be more about Regina’s vision than Emma’s. The blonde didn’t mind so much, the brunette was the more creative one out of the pair.

 So nearly eight months later, the house was finally complete and looked completely different from the house they moved into all those months ago.  

  **~{}~**  

 

With Christmas looming and the prospect of Emma having to return to work in the New Year, the small family spent every waking hour together. Regina had taken on less work over the last six months and had spent more time helping Emma with Henry. 

They had just arrived home from a day of Christmas shopping, both parents exhausted from the venture. They still were adjusting to shopping with an eight month old who was demanding their attention albeit from a nappy change or to him being hungry. Shopping was now about where the closest Mother and Baby room was or if they had remembered to bring Henry’s bottles of formula. 

Regina sighed deeply as she retrieved the last of the shopping from the bug. Bumping the passenger door close with her hip, she looked at Emma’s prize possession. The bug had now seen better days and to be honest was no longer suitable as a family car. She needed to broach the subject with her wife. It was time for a bigger car. Henry would soon outgrow his car seat and they would experience more trouble in the future.  

Regina entered her house and nudged the door shut with the back of her heel.  Depositing the Christmas presents they had bought Henry at the foot of the stairs, she continued to the kitchen where Emma and Henry were. Their son was sitting on the floor happily playing with a couple of saucepans while Emma flittered around the kitchen preparing their dinner.  The brunette leant against the counter and looked to her son who was gurgling away in his own language. From what she could tell, he seemed happy.  

“Em, I think it’s time to trade in bug.” Regina approached the subject cautiously. 

Emma stopped what she was doing and looked to her wife.  

“Henry can barely fit in his car seat anymore and well today with all the shopping, it looked cramped in the back with him.  

The blonde stayed silent as she realised that, yes, she had been indeed cramped in the back with her son next to her while all the presents surrounded them. It also seemed ridiculous that their son should be wedged in between all the shopping bags.

“I don't know Gina, Bug is family. She’s my first car and I was planning on giving it to Henry when he is old enough to drive.” She crouched down to her son and took away the wooden spoon he was using to bang against the saucepan. There was only so much banging Emma could take.

Henry’s bottom lip trembled as a whimper escaped his little mouth. Both women realised what would come next.  Regina quickly pulled out Henry’s pacifier from the nappy bag and handed it the blonde. Just as Emma crouched down, Henry gave a loud shrilling wail. Oh no the water works were coming. Scooping their son up in her arms, Emma bounced him on her hip to soothe him further and avoid a total meltdown by their son. It had done the trick and soon Henry was back to his gurgling self.

Regina took over the cooking duties as Emma occupied Henry with his dinner. They had only started introducing solids into his diet but Henry was still far more content with his mother’s breast milk.

After a couple of false starts and a mini meltdown from Henry, Emma pushed away the bowl of pureed vegetables and excused herself as she went up to his nursery to give their son what he really wanted. Her breast milk.

Regina glanced towards the baby monitor that sat prominently on the small breakfast bar when she heard Emma say something to their son. A slow grin swept over her face as she listened to Emma talk to Henry as if he could understand every word.  

“Momma is right, Kid. Bug is not gonna cut it as a family car anymore, you’re getting too big now. Perhaps it’s time to get one of those soccer mum cars, we both detest. Whatcha say Henry? Should we sell bug and get one?”  

Henry replied with a soft wail and then what seemed a gurgle of laughter.  

 “I agree, Kid. But don’t let Momma know she’s right.”  

There was a moment of silence before Regina heard Emma settle down in the rocking chair and nurse Henry. She then heard something she’d never heard before, Emma softly singing a lullaby to Henry.  

**~{}~**  

 

Emma crossed out the date on the calendar with the red marker pen and put the cap back on.

“Only five more sleeps until Father Christmas comes, Kid.” She kissed Henry's mop of brown hair and jiggled him on her hip.

But Henry was far more interested in the pen Emma was holding.  He tried grasping it between his chubby little fingers before Emma relented and gave him the pen.  Glancing at the clock as she walked back into the living room, she realised that her wife would be home from work soon. Placing Henry down in his travel playpen, she watched with intrigue as her son tried in vain to stand up on his own accord, the red marker pen temporarily forgotten about.

Chuckling to herself at Henry's failed attempts, Emma sat down on the sofa and got herself comfortable. With one determined push, Henry managed to stand up on his own and looked proud as punch as he shuffled on the spot gurgling away to himself before falling backward.

“You nearly did it, Kid. Good try though.” Emma chuckled as Henry glanced around unsure of what had just happened.  

The ringing of the house phone interrupted the moment. Emma hopped up and answered the phone quickly before resuming her position back on the couch.

“Oh, Hi Cora...” She answered, watching Henry attempting to sit up again. “No, Regina isn’t here at the moment, she’s due home any minute though.” She paused momentarily. “Your grandson is fine; he’s trying to master the whole standing up thing at the moment.” She chuckled. “It won’t be long though.” Another pause. “Oh I know, he’s growing up so fast, cut his first tooth last week.”  

Emma and Henry heard the jingle of the keys in the front door.

“I think I hear Regina at the front door.” Emma said as she stood and ruffled her son’s hair as she passed the travel playpen. As Emma left the lounge, Henry managed to stand himself up and grab at the mesh side for support. A wide grin swept over his face. 

Success! 

Closing the door behind her, Regina dropped the keys to their recently new “soccer mom” car on the small side board in the hall. She glanced to her wife who was leaning against the door frame to lounge.  

“Cora is on the phone. She’s asking for you.” Emma said, handing the phone to her wife.  

Regina winked at her wife as she took the phone. “Hello Mother.”  

The blonde retreated back into the lounge and to Henry who was still holding the mesh side of travel pen. His face still beaming with pride.  

“Bravo Kid!” Emma said excitedly to her son as he gurgled away to her in his language. “You did it!” Picking up her son, she smothered him in kisses and cuddles before setting him down on her lap.

Regina was now standing in the kitchen, the colour slowly draining from her face as tears threatened to fall from her cheeks as she tried to comprehend what she had just been told. With the phone pressed to her ear and the distant voice of her mother asking Regina to respond, the brunette opened her mouth but no words came out.

It was then that Emma entered the kitchen, cradling Henry in her arms. The jubilant moment she wanted to regale to her wife vanished quickly when she saw the look of utter horror on the brunette’s face.  

“Gina? Babe, what is it?” Emma asked anxiously.  

Regina blinked uncontrollably for a moment as the tears finally cascaded down her face and stopping on her jaw line. Ignoring her wife’s pleas, Regina wiped the fresh tears and focused on the phone in her hand. “Yes, I’m here, Mother. I just...” Her voice faded as she focused on Emma and more tears streaming down over her cheeks. 

Emma took the phone from Regina and re-positioned Henry on her hip.  

“Cora. It’s Emma. What's happened?”  

A sharp gasp escaped the blonde as she looked back at her wife who was now hugging herself tightly. She understood immediately why the tears were flowing so freely.  

“Okay, yes. Of course I will.  We’ll be touch.” Emma watched her wife, who was walking around the kitchen area sobbing and furiously wiping the constant stream of tears away before disappearing out of the kitchen. “Cora, I don't know what to say. Yes, don’t worry, I promise to be there for her. She’s gone upstairs I think.  Okay, yes, I’ll get her to call you back later. I’m so sorry, Cora. Okay, Bye.” Emma ended the call and placed the phone on the counter top before quickly padding down the short corridor to the stairs. Securing her son on her hip, she ascended the stairs quickly to where she knew her wife would be. 

Pushing open their bedroom door, Emma stood momentarily in the door way and saw her wife, face down on the bed sobbing gently into the pillow. She silently padded into the room and slid onto the bed, depositing their son in the middle of them as she gathered her wife in her arms as best she could and cradled her tightly. Regina finally turned into the embrace, her arms finding their way around her son and wife, she held onto them for dear life.  

“Em, I can't believe he’s gone...” the muffled sob escaped the brunette.  

“I know, baby. I know.” Emma cooed softly to her wife as she stroked her fingers through her hair.  

 

**And this was the moment when Emma realised just how precious life was.**

 

 


	5. Chapter Five

** MOMENTS OF THE HEART **

** CHAPTER FIVE.  **

Emma stepped up beside her wife and glanced into the open casket. Henry Mills Snr looked peaceful as if he was just resting.

Asleep.

The blonde slipped her hand into her wife’s, entwining their fingers. Regina felt the contact and squeezed her hand around Emma’s, a subtle acknowledgement of her gratitude towards the blonde. She wiped a tear from her left cheek with her free hand and then looked to her wife. Emma offered an apologetic smile which the brunette mirrored before glancing back to the open casket.

Letting go of her wife’s hand and giving Emma a subtle message that she needed to be alone, Regina stepped closer to the casket. Her left hand rested on the edge as she lent forward and straightened her father’s tie and placed a soft kiss on his forehead before stepping back.  

Emma stood momentarily by the last row of pews before she stepped out of the church, giving her wife the privacy she required.

After a few minutes of reflection, the brunette slowly walked down the aisle of pews to the front of the church. She was the only person in the church now. Stopping suddenly at the last row, she turned back and looked to her father’s casket for the last time. This was her final goodbye to the man who not only loved her unconditionally, but gave his unwavering support, dedication and belief in her, even when she lacked the courage to believe in herself. She suddenly felt very alone in a sense. Unsure of herself and unsure if she would be strong enough in the future to combat those dark demons of self loathing, anxiety and addiction which she knew lay dormant deep inside her.  

It was the sudden warmth and brightness of the winter sun that broke Regina’s reverie. Which was strange for the middle of winter in Maine. You’d be lucky to see any sun for days on end. Squinting into the sun, she took it as a sign from her father that he was at peace and indeed she would be strong enough to cope without him as long as she remained true to herself.

Glancing back to the casket, she smiled softly.

“I love you, Daddy.”

At that moment Emma appeared at her side, she slipped her arm around Regina’s waist and looked in the same direction as Regina.  Emma lowered her eyes and silently made a promise to her father in law. Lifting her head, she glanced to Regina who indicated she was ready to go.

They walked hand in hand through the church yard to where the rest of the funeral guests were gathered, waiting.

 

**~{}~**

Emma nursed Henry on her lap as she listened to the conversation between Regina’s estranged half-sister Zelena and Regina’s childhood friend, Katherine Midas. She’d known Katherine for years now but only had been introduced to Zelena about an hour ago.

Zelena was older than Regina by a few years and was the product of a brief love affair her mother, Cora  had before she was married to Henry Mills.  She had grown up in Los Angeles with her father after Cora who was barely twenty had abandoned her and fled to the other side of the country. Quite scandalous, for the prim and proper Cora Mills she knew, Emma had thought. Zelena had only re-entered Cora’s life in the last five years after her father had passed away.  She was now living and working in Portland and was attempting to reconnect with her mother and sister.

Even though Regina had only briefly mentioned her half-sister before, Emma gathered that their relationship at best could be described as ‘strained’. But Regina was trying even though it seemed Zelena harboured resentment toward Regina and the life she felt she had missed out on.

 “So Emma, Regina tells me you’re going back to work soon.” Katherine said, steering the conversation to include the blonde.

Emma nodded “Yeah, I’m supposed to be going back at the end of the month when my maternity leave is up.”

“I hear a ‘but’ in there.” Katherine said.

Emma pursed her lips together and raised her eyebrows. Not committing herself to an answer.

Zelena interjected. “What is that you do, Emma?”

Emma turned to her sister-in law. “I’m a Police Officer for Boston PD.” She smiled.

Emma glanced down at her son, who was preoccupied with his chew toy. Emma had recently been in two minds whether or not to return to the force but hadn’t voiced her thoughts to her wife. Mainly because Henry Snr’s death had taken precedent over everything else of late.  Kissing the top of her son’s head, she gently cuddled him as he glanced up to his mother and smiled. His personality was starting to come out now and Emma was finding it harder to ignore her responsibility as a mother.

At that moment, her brunette wife entered the living room holding a tray of hot drinks. She placed them down on the coffee table before turning to her wife and reached out to their son. Emma handed Henry to Regina who positioned their growing son on her hip before walking out of the lounge back to the kitchen.

Watching Regina disappear out of the room, Emma couldn’t help but be swept up with the emotion emitted from her wife. The brunette had barely said two words to anyone since they had returned to the Mills family house. Understanding that Regina was reeling in her emotions of loss, Emma wanted nothing more but to scoop her wife up in her arms and shield her from everything but it seemed Regina was content with being left alone. Shuffling forward in the seat, Emma reached for her cup of tea and took a sip.

Emma tried to keep up with the change of topic between Katherine and Zelena but it was useless. Her mind and thoughts were elsewhere. Sighing softly to herself, she realised this was a good time to make her exit and go in search for her wife.

Slipping out of the room unnoticed, Emma walked toward the kitchen. She pensively leant against the door frame and watched as her wife cradled  little Henry close to her chest. The brunette was gently rocking him to sleep but their son was struggling and fighting to stay awake.

Eventually Regina looked up from Henry and acknowledged Emma with a sad smile and tears welling in her eyes.  Emma approached cautiously and stood before her as she silently wrapped her arms around the brunette’s waist and pulled her closer.  Reluctantly Regina rested her head on the blondes shoulder and eventually allowed the tears to fall silently down her cheeks.  Moments later, Emma guided the brunette and their son upstairs to Regina’s old bedroom.

Emma took Henry from Regina and placed him down in the travel cot. He squirmed and whimpered at the loss of contact of his mother before quickly falling back asleep. Placing the baby monitor near the cot, Emma picked up the receiver and took a hold of her wife’s hand before shutting the door quietly behind them. They retreated back down stairs and past the guests in the lounge. Cora Mills was in mid conversation with one of her husband’s friends when she saw the blonde and brunette pass the lounge. She noticed how protective Emma seemed of her daughter. Politely excusing herself, Cora silently followed the women.

Cora’s pursuit of her daughter and daughter in law was ended with the back door being shut softly as she entered the utility room. She pursed her lips tightly before turning on her heel and head for the kitchen where she knew she could continue her observations from the large garden facing windows.  As the older woman stood by the large butler sink, she watched as Emma led Regina to the stone bench on the far side of the garden.  Backing away slowly, Cora re-joined her guests in the living room and purposely positioned herself by the large window so she could keep a watchful eye on her daughter from a distance whilst resuming her conversation from before.

Wrapping her arm around the brunette’s shoulders, Emma drew her wife closer. She kissed the side of the brunette’s head before turning her gaze unconsciously unto the garden around them. After what seemed a life time, Regina finally spoke.

“I don’t deserve you…” She whispered.

**~()~**

 

With the last of the guests leaving and Cora playing the most gracious host, Emma and Regina steadily tied up from the wake. Carrying the latest round up of glasses and cups to the kitchen, Emma glanced at her wife who was carefully wrapping up an unused tray of finger sandwiches at the kitchen island. It was then that the baby monitor came to life. Both women turned towards it and listened to Henry’s cries.

“I’ve got it.” Emma sighed.

Regina nodded. “I’m amazed he slept this long.”

Chuckling to herself, Emma brushed past her wife, placing a chaste kiss on her cheek. “Small mercies and all that.”  She said, disappearing out of the kitchen and up to their son.

Filling the dishwasher with the collected glasses and cups, Regina nudged the door shut and pushed the button to start it. She wiped over the surfaces and scanned the kitchen for any forgotten items.  She then placed the last tray of unused buffet food in the fridge; Regina knew that her mother would never be able to finish all the leftover food. She decided to seek out her mother and suggest donating it to the local homeless shelter tomorrow. 

Finding Cora chatting with one of the last guests on the front porch, Regina decided not to interrupt; she would talk to her mother in the morning about her suggestion of donating the leftover food. Retreating back into the house, Regina joined her wife and son in her old bedroom.

As she pushed the bedroom door open, she smiled to herself as she found mother and son snuggling on the bed together. Emma had a protective arm wrapped around him and the two were gently snoring.  Padding across the room, Regina slipped into the bed next to her son and extended her arm out and over both. It wasn’t long before she fell asleep.

**~()~**

 

Chocolate brown eyes fluttered open and quickly surveyed their surroundings. Regina’s second thought was to wonder how long she had been asleep for before she grimaced slightly as Henry’s little foot pushed against her back.  Turning over and moving his foot slightly, she noticed that their son was sprawled out on his back between his mothers. How could someone so small take up so much room, she thought to herself as she sat up and smiled to herself. Emma was curled up on her side facing her son and Regina. Her protective arm still resting over her son’s stomach. Slipping out of the bed, Regina smoothed down her ruffled hair and padded silently out of the room and back downstairs.

Deciding not to turn lights on and risking waking anyone up, Regina slowly navigated in the dark and by memory to the kitchen. A journey she had taken many times when she was younger and growing up in this house.  As she stepped into the kitchen, she flicked the light on and noticed the time.

Five to Midnight.  

Rolling her neck and stretching her body, she noticed a bottle of her father’s whiskey sitting in the centre of the kitchen island. Obviously at some stage earlier in the night, her mother had toasted a solidary drink to her husband.

Sitting down on the wooden stool, she eyed the whiskey. To be honest, she never really liked the drink, finding it too harsh for her pallet. But this was her father’s favourite brand and he swore that was what made the difference between a good and bad whiskey. Slipping off the stool and moving over to the glass cabinet, she picked up a tumbler and sat back down on the stool. She picked up the bottle and traced her finger over the label before unscrewing the cap, letting it drop on the counter top. Pouring some whiskey into the tumbler, she placed the bottle down beside the glass and contemplated whether or not to have one glass.

 This would be her first alcoholic drink in about seven years.

 Glancing over at her mother’s empty tumbler on the counter beside the sink, she couldn’t see any harm in toasting a drink to her father. If her mother could do it, then there wasn’t anything stopping Regina from doing the same. She justified her decision by deciding to only have one glass of her father’s whiskey before retiring back to bed with her wife and son.

Picking up the tumbler and swirling the contents, she lifted it to her lips. The aroma hit her nose and the faintest smell of honey captured her senses.  Taking a sip, the amber liquid encased her mouth and enriched her senses. Before realising what she was doing, her mouth opened wide and she swallowed the liquid in one gulp. Replacing the tumbler on the countertop and rolling her neck again as the whiskey hit her senses; she lifted the bottle and poured herself another drink.  This time she lifted the glass to the sky, nodded silently to her father before taking the liquid in one flawless gulp.

As she licked her lips and looked to the bottle, she knew her father had been right. The velvety texture was exquisite and something to be treasured.

**~()~**

 

It was Henry’s whimpers and soft crying that woke Emma.   She turned on the bedside lamp and sat up in the bed, picking up her son, she instantly soothed his distress. Her eyes drifted over to the other side of the bed, where it was obvious that at some point during the night Regina had been laying.

“You hungry, kid?” Emma murmured as she stood and gathered up his fleece blanket, wrapping it crudely around him. “Let’s get you fed and find Momma.” Emma padded out of the bedroom and down the corridor.

The large house was silent except for the constant ticking from the large grandfather clock which stood in the recess of the foyer. Stepping off the bottom step, she noted the time.

Two thirty.

Padding across the foyer and toward the kitchen, she noticed the light was on. Perhaps Regina was in there helping herself to some of the left over food.  As she rounded the corner and entered the kitchen, that’s when she saw her wife slumped over the kitchen island. Her soft rhythmic snoring reverberating off the counter top. Next to her an empty bottle of whiskey and in her right hand, she clutched an empty glass.

Regina had been drinking.

Sighing to herself, Emma silently switched Henry to the opposite hip as she prised the empty glass from the brunette’s grasp.  Regina murmured and slowly raised her head, her eyes found Emma standing on the other side of the island.

“What time is it?” Regina was a little disoriented.

“Two thirty in the morning.  Henry woke. He’s hungry.” Emma placed Henry into the portable highchair.

Regina ruffled her hair with her hands as she watched Emma retrieve a prepared bottle of formula from the fridge and warm it up in the microwave.  Testing it on her wrist, Emma silently sat down next to Henry and glanced to her wife before asking the obvious question that lingered in the air.

“So you’re drinking alcohol?”

The brunette looked to the empty bottle before softly muttering. “I was toasting my Father.”

Emma nodded. She understood and if it was her, she knew she would have done the same thing. But she was also a little concerned.  In the seven years that she had known the brunette, never once had she touched alcohol.  Regina had always said that even a drop could spark the addiction she once had and she couldn’t risk that behaviour again. Emma hoped that this wasn’t the start of something.

“Should I be worried?”

Regarding Emma for a moment, Regina finally spoke. “Em, I’m okay. This doesn’t mean anything, I can assure you.”

Studying the brunette, Emma hoped Regina was right. Eventually accepting the brunette’s reply, she simply said. “Okay…”

 

**And this was the moment when two things happened. Firstly the devil reintroduced itself to Regina and secondly, it was the first time Emma didn’t completely trust the brunette.**

 

**~{}~**

 

Emma stood in front of her uniform. It had been hanging in their walk-in wardrobe for the last year, pressed and ready for her return to the force.  This time next week she would back pounding the beat, catching the bad guys and feeling like she was making a difference but and this was the biggest but money could buy, her desire to return had slowly fizzle out to a smouldering pile of ash and all that was left was the uniform hanging in the wardrobe. She felt she had a new purpose now; she was a mother to their eight and a half month old baby boy. 

Before Henry was born, she did for a fleeting moment wonder if she would be able to connect with her baby once it was born. But that had changed the moment he was born. When she held him for the first time and he acknowledged her in his own little way, she knew that all those fears that she held in her heart were just that, her personal struggles with abandonment caused by her parents when they placed her for adoption. She could never do that to her son, she didn’t want him to have the same life as she did. Her baby needed to know that she loved him and so did his other mother. And Regina did. As soon as she was able, Regina had adopted Henry and taken her responsibility as his other mother very seriously.

Emma ran her hand down her the front of her uniform, clutching at the sleeve before eventually letting it fall. She had made her decision. Backing out of the space, she turned off the light and faced her wife who was laying in their bed reading.

“Gina...” Emma murmured.

“Hmmm...” The brunette looked up from her novel to her wife.

“I’m not going back.” Emma said.

Regina took her reading glasses off and folded them as she closed her book. “Not going where?” She wasn’t following.

Emma padded closer to the bed and sat down on the edge. “To work.”  

Regina repositioned herself in the bed and placed her book on her nightstand. “Em, are you sure? You’ve worked so hard to get there. I thought you enjoyed it.”

“I did enjoy it but my priorities changed once I had Henry. The desire has fizzled out.” She paused. “Perhaps when Henry is a little older I might go back, in some sort of capacity.” She shrugged.

Regina regarded Emma for a moment, it made sense. Henry wasn’t even a year old and she could understand Emma’s desire to look after their son. She scooted forward and sat beside her wife. Taking the blonde’s hands in her own, she kissed Emma’s knuckles.  She realised that Emma must have been deliberating over this for a while and obviously her decision couldn’t have been easy for the blonde.

“If that’s what you want to do then you have my full support.”

Emma nodded, yes that’s what she wanted to do, it was best for their son.

“I will let them know tomorrow.” She smiled.

“You don’t have to return the uniform do you?” Regina smirked.

Emma blushed as she looked to her wife. “No, but I will have to give back my cuffs.”

Regina then traced her fingers up the blondes pale thighs. “Put your uniform on and get your cuffs.” She winked as she kissed the blonde deeply on the lips.

**~{}~**

Riding the elevator down in silence, Emma’s gaze fell upon the others inside the carriage. There were a couple of familiar faces who gave her a friendly nod and a few faces she didn’t recognise, when she entered the small space a minute ago.  Knowing that possibly this would be the last time she would ride this cramped elevator was kind of bittersweet for the blonde. Although she knew that she would miss the comradery of the Boston PD, she couldn’t help but feel a little liberated by her decision not to come back. Just yet.  Emma had expressed to the Chief her desire to leave the force but wanted some sort of guarantee that if in the future she wanted to return that she could.  The Chief had explained her different options and as far as he was concerned if and when she wanted to return then there was a place for her within the force. That was all Emma needed and wanted to know.

She had options.

As the elevator doors slid open and everyone filed out, Emma slowly strolled out and headed toward the entrance of the building. Stopping momentarily, she glanced around her and with a heavy heart silently said goodbye to this part of her life. In the end she knew she would miss it but at the same time she was excited to be fully committing herself to her son.

As she stepped off the last concrete stair of the precinct, she came face to face with two of her friends and now former colleagues.

“Swan!” Ruby smiled.

“Hey Rubes, I was hoping to run into you here.” Emma smiled, glancing to Killian who was flashing a dashing smile. “Killian..” She nodded.

“Swan..” Killian smarmed.

“We didn’t have a catch up planned?” Ruby asked.

Shaking her head, Emma spoke. “No, I just wanted to let you..well both of you know I have decided not to come back. I just spoke with the Chief” Emma glanced over her shoulder toward the building before turning back to her friends.

“You’re leaving?” Ruby questioned.

Emma nodded. “I’ve left. Handed back my badge and cuffs.”

Ruby nodded subtly. “I guess I’m not that surprised. You have Henry now; he has to be your priority.”

Emma nodded and smiled. “Yeah, I need to focus on him. But the chief has said if I wanted to in the future I could come back. So you never know, it could happen.”

Ruby glanced to Killian who was taking in what Emma was saying. “We’re still gonna hang out every now and then?”

Emma chuckled. “Of course, Rubes. You’re my best friend and Henry’s god mother. I may need you for babysitting duties.” She winked.

Ruby rolled her eyes and scoffed to herself. “Yeah, Yeah..”

Killian interrupted into the conversation. “Should we expect you at the next “guy’s” night, Swan?”

Emma regarded her dark haired friend for a moment. “Those days are over now, Killian.” She flashed him her wedding ring “Happily married with a son, remember. But if you desperately need a wingman, I’m sure Rubes can help out.” She joked.

Killian chuckled. “Aye, love. Ruby is more than capable when she’s not trying for herself.”

Ruby playfully swatted her tall dark haired friend. “That only happened once.”

Emma chuckled to herself as she remembered the incident in question. “That night…” Emma deadpanned.

Killian roared with laughter. “Swan, I’m going to miss you.” He stepped closer and embraced the blonde tightly. Possibly a little too possessively. “You take care of yourself and the boy.” He stepped back, glanced to Ruby. “Ruby, I’ll catch up with you later.” And with that Killian strolled off and entered the precinct.

“I see Killian hasn’t changed?” Emma said.

Ruby shook her head. “Not when he still holds a torch for you.”

Emma rolled her eyes. “That ship has long but sailed.”

 

**~()~**

Regina scooped the small baby spoon into the bowl of pureed vegetables and then directed it towards Henry. “Good boy!”

The nine month old smiled and waved his arms and hands around excitedly. Regina glanced to her wife who was busily dishing up their dinner at the kitchen island. “I should be home Sunday, early evening.”

Emma nodded as she finished plating the dishes and walked over to the table. She placed Regina’s dinner in front of her and then placed her own opposite her wife.  As she sat down, Emma immediately reached for the wet wipes, pulling one out; she wiped her son’s face and balled it up and dropped it with the others that were piled on the table.

“Do you need me to pick you up from the airport?”

Regina considered it for a minute and shook her head. “No it fine, darling. I’ll get a taxi. Just in case I end up staying later than I expect in New York.”  

Emma nodded as she cut her fillet of steak. “Ring me if your plans change.”

“Of course.” Regina nodded as she lifted Henry out of the high chair and placed him on her lap. As she cut into her steak, little Henry tried in vain to grab the brunette’s fork.  Regina shooed his hand away and picked up the discarded rusk on the table and handing it to him. Kissing him on the top of his head, Henry happily gnawed at the rusk. Regina spoke. “I see someone is getting another toothy-peg.”

The blonde groaned softly. “That makes three now. I should start him on the Tylenol tonight before it cuts through properly.”

The couple finished their dinner, washed up and put little Henry to bed. They both hoped that he would actually sleep through the night till morning. Because the last few nights, he had been restless and waking up every few hours.

Upon returning to the lounge, they curled up together on the couch. Emma was engrossed in a movie while Regina immersed herself in the novel she had been reading.

Regina’s head rested on the blonde’s chest while Emma’s arm draped protectively around the brunette’s waist. They were spending this quality time together before Regina’s business trip to New York tomorrow. It was the first time the couple would be apart for longer than a day. Regina was going to be away for four days on location for a client.

“Are you all packed?” Emma said as the movie was interrupted by an advert break.

Regina looked up from her book. “Aha.”

Emma nodded and began tracing her fingers on the brunette’s uncovered stomach. “Your travel documents are on the side in the kitchen; don’t forget them in the morning.”

The brunette shook her head. “I won’t.”

Emma sighed softly. “I wish I was going with you. I’m gonna miss you, Gina.”

Regina closed her book and cupped the blonde’s cheek. “I’m going to miss you too. Henry as well. But I’ll be back before you know, my love.”

Emma smiled softly. “Show me how much you’re going to miss me.” She winked.

Regina placed her book on the coffee table and shifted on the couch so she was now straddling the blonde. “I’m going to miss you this much.” She leant down, capturing the blonde’s lips as she tugged at the hem of Emma’s oversized Boston Red Sox t-shirt.

**~()~**

 

Regina was up, showered and dressed and now leaning against the breakfast bar sipping her coffee. The arranged town car wasn’t expected for another twenty minutes. Glancing at the clock, she had enough time for her coffee and possibly something quick to eat. Peering out of the kitchen windows, she stifled a yawn before taking another sip of her coffee.

She was lost in her thoughts, analysing her flight details and mentally calculating that with the flight scheduled for seven thirty, she should arrive in New York just after half past eight.  She gave herself another hour to travel and check into her hotel suite before she would need to be at the specific shoot location, hopefully by ten in the morning.  Sighing, she knew it was going to be tight, but do able. As long as everything went to plan and there wasn’t any delays.

Draining the rest of the coffee in one gulp, she rinsed her mug under the tap and placed it on the draining board before pottering around in the kitchen. At that moment, Emma descended down the stairs with Henry resting on her hip.  Smiling when she saw her wife and son, she reached for him and took him off the blonde.  She couldn’t resist smothering Henry with kisses and cuddles which led him to squirm and giggle in her embrace.

Emma helped herself to the freshly brewed coffee and leant against the counter watching her wife and son interacting with one another. The brunette was now blowing raspberries on his chubby little hands, making Henry gurgle even louder with laughter.

“What are your plans for today, darling?” Regina asked, positioning Henry on her hip as she looked to the blonde.

The blonde shrugged. “Not a lot. Perhaps Henry and I will go to the park, if the weather is okay. We might even catch up with Ruby for lunch, if she isn’t too busy. I haven’t seen her since I left the force.”

Regina nodded and looked to her son, “Are you going to see Aunty Ruby today, Henry? Aren’t you the lucky one.” She cooed to her son.  His response was a decisive gurgle mixed with his own little gibberish. Although he hadn’t as yet said his first word, both women knew it wouldn’t be long.  It seemed with every passing day, he was getting closer to saying his first word.  

He had already mastered standing up and was now very close to taking his first steps albeit unsuccessful as yet. But that wouldn’t be long either, the women had mused.

Emma smiled to herself as the gibberish nonsensical conversation between Henry and Regina continued. She would never tire of the interaction between the two loves of her life.

The moment was interrupted when Regina’s phone started to vibrate across the breakfast bar. Both women looked at it before Emma picked it up and handed it to her wife. Flipping it open, Regina read the text message. The town car was waiting outside for her. Flipping the lid close, she cuddled and kissed her son one more time. “Be good for Ma. Momma will miss you little one. I love you so much.”

Henry's response was to squirm in his mother’s arms and give a little cry that was more show.

“I’ll be back soon, Henry.”

Henry smiled and replied in his own little gibberish language. Emma reached out for her son who initially didn’t want to leave his brunette mother’s arms but that all changed when Emma showed him his little chew toy. His eyes lit up as he reached for his blonde mother. Regina all but forgotten about.  The blonde positioned him on her hip and gave him the toy. He instantly started to chew on it, soothing his teeth.

Picking up her travel documents and placing them in her handbag, Regina walked toward the front door with Emma and Henry following close behind. Stopping at her small suitcase, she turned to Emma, capturing her lips and deepening the kiss before slowing pulling away.

“I’m going to miss you, Em.”

“Miss you more, Gina.” Emma murmured.

Regina blushed slightly as she lowered her eyes and looked to the closed front door. Hesitating slightly before slowly opening it, the realisation hit her; she was going to be hundreds of miles apart for the loves of her life.  Wheeling her suitcase behind her, she turned back to her family.

“Don’t get into too much trouble while Momma’s away.” She winked, descending down the small concrete stairs to the awaiting black Mercedes.

The driver stepped away from the Mercedes and took the suitcase off the brunette and placed it in the open trunk. Closing the trunk, he opened the back passenger door for Regina. The brunette was about to get in when she changed her mind. Walking back up the stairs, she embraced her wife and son one last time.

“I love you, Emma.”  Regina kissed the blonde deeply before turning back and descending the stairs again.   She planted her hand on the roof of the car and glanced back to the blonde.

“I’ll ring when I get to New York.”

Emma nodded and smiled. “Love you too, Gina. Have a safe trip. See you Sunday.”

With a sad smile, Regina disappeared into the car and got comfortable on the back seat. The driver closed the door quickly and settled in the driver’s seat even quicker.  The back passenger window wound down, Regina leant forward and looked up to her family.

“Bye Bye Henry, I love you.” She called out, giving him a wave.

“Momma!” Henry squeaked with an over excited wave.

The blonde’s eyes widened dramatically as she looked to her son and then to her wife who was also in a state of shock. The car then quickly pulled away from the curb with Regina’s shocked expression filling the open window.

 

**And that was the moment little Henry said his first word.**

 

**~{}~**

True to her word, Regina phoned Emma once she had checked into her hotel suite in New York. Henry and Emma had indeed played in the park and had caught up with Ruby for lunch.  Returning home later in the afternoon, Henry had his afternoon nap and in that time Emma had spoken to her mother, regaling her with Henry’s achievement.  As soon as Henry woke, she tried in vain to get him to say “Ma” but it was repeatedly replied with “Momma.” Giving up on her endeavour, she prepared them dinner and settled down afterwards in the lounge with him until he fell asleep.  Regina had rung later in the evening and chatted about her day, marvelling at the fact Henry had said “Momma” first  before eventually wishing Emma a goodnight.

With the next day starting off grey and overcast and the prospect of drizzling showers for the remainder of the day, going to the park again was crossed off the agenda.

Henry was grizzly today, not wanting to be separated from his mother. She put his mood down to the fact that he was teething and that he was indeed missing his Momma.  Henry’s separation anxiety proved problematic for Emma as she wanted to get on with the general house work but she did her best with him constantly hanging off her hip. 

It was mid afternoon and time for Henry’s nap, there were three false starts until the little man finally fell asleep. Emma used this time wisely and hoped to finish the housework.   Ever since Henry was born, the house hadn’t been as spotless as it used to be; Emma having to juggle housework around Henry’s nap times. She was quite the master now and was able to use the time to catch up with her chores. Although today was a different story, she had only managed to clean two rooms before Henry woke from his nap.

Again like the night before, Regina had phoned, chatting about her day before wishing them both a goodnight.

By the third day, Henry's mood hadn’t improved. Emma was positive that it was his teeth that were bothering her son. Spending the morning entertaining her young son, she put off the housework until his mid afternoon nap.

Pushing open the study door, she got to work on cleaning it. Everything was going to plan until she came across something she hadn’t expected.

As she dusted the high top of the mahogany bookshelf, Emma came across a near empty bottle of whiskey. Realising straight away that it was the same brand that Henry Mills Snr had drunk, she  peered back on top and noticed the glass tumbler positioned behind a stack of old magazines.

It had been near enough six weeks to the day since Henry Snr had passed away.

Sitting down in her wife’s black leather chair, Emma studied the bottle of whiskey. With a deep sigh, she rubbed her face as she realised that her wife had been secretly drinking. Obviously it had started since her father in law’s death. Emma could rationalise Regina’s decision to drink. The brunette was obviously still deeply grieving for her father. But she wondered why had the brunette felt the need to do it in secret.

As she stared at the bottle, images of Regina slumped over the kitchen island in her mother’s house entered her thoughts.  That had been the first time; Emma had ever seen the brunette like that. At the time she was a little concerned but had quickly dismissed it because of the emotion of the day.

But now, she wondered if Regina had since achieved the same level of drunkenness?  Picking up the glass tumbler and twisting it in her hand, she tried to conjure up any insignificant moment that the brunette appeared drunk. There were none. Perhaps, Regina had mastered the art of acting sober. Or perhaps, the brunette wasn’t drinking herself to a stupor but just having the odd glass every now and then.

Emma was in a quandary. She wasn’t sure if she should confront her wife about her discovery or not. If she did, what would the brunette’s reaction be? Would she feel like it was an invasion of her privacy?  Did she have any right? She wasn’t sure but she was becoming increasingly concerned as to why Regina had felt the need to keep it a secret. What else had she kept secret? Emma’s mind went to overdrive anxiety. Was this business trip just a rouse?

The image of Mal Draak instantly entered her thoughts. Though she hadn’t thought about that woman for nearly five years now, she in a very short span of time convinced herself that Regina was in New York having a fling with the leggy blonde.

Breathing deeply, she sat in silence as she thought about the secret drinking and the spontaneous work trip.

It was Henry persistent crying that broke her from her thoughts. Looking to the open door, she sprang to action, quickly making her way to her son.

With Henry now settled in his playpen, Emma’s thoughts centred back to her wife.  Actually, come to think of it, she hadn’t heard from her as yet, today. Glancing to the clock, it was now quarter to five.  Retrieving her mobile from the kitchen, she dialled Regina’s number and settled herself back on the sofa, waiting for her wife to pick up.  After what seemed like a life time, an unfamiliar voice answered the phone. Emma’s heckles reared up.

“Hello, Regina Mills phone.”

_It’s Swan-Mills, lady._ Emma thought. “Who is this?” She answered curtly.

“Ahh, Phoebe. Who is this?” The reply came.

“Regina’s wife. Emma Swan-Mills.” Emma emphasised her surname. “Where’s Regina?”

“She’s currently busy.” Phoebe statement gave nothing away.  

Emma sighed and ran her fingers through her hair. “Phoebe, can you please tell Regina I phoned.”

“Is it urgent?” Phoebe asked.

Emma felt like saying it was none of her business but decided against it. “No, not urgent.”

“Okay, I’ll tell Miss Mills that you phoned.” Phoebe replied.

Emma gritted her teeth sharply. “Its..Mrs.. oh don’t worry about it. Just tell her to ring me.”

Emma ended the call and slammed her phone down on the couch.

What the fuck? What was Regina playing at? That phone call did nothing to sway Emma’s thoughts away from Regina playing away from home.

It was about two hours later when Emma finally heard from her wife. She was in the middle of washing up when she heard her mobile vibrating against the couch. Drying her hands quickly, she slung the tea towel over her shoulder and quickly padded into the lounge to retrieve it.  She answered the phone a little desperately.

“Hello darling, you phoned?”

Emma could hear noise in the background, it sounded like Regina was in a nightclub.

“Where are you? I hear music. ” Emma asked.

“On location, well actually it’s a studio. The client insists that club music be played all day every day.” Regina sighed. “I feel old enough to be his mother. I probably am.”

Emma smiled into the phone before remembering she was a little angry at the brunette.

“Anyway, Phoebe said you phoned earlier and you wanted to talk to me. Is Henry alright?”

Emma hesitated for a second. “Henry is fine. Well a little grizzly but he’s teething. Who is Phoebe?”

“The client’s personal assistant.” Regina said. “She’s a twenty-three year old intern who is a bit of a job’s worth.” The brunette chuckled.

“I put her in her place...” Emma muttered.

Regina chuckled. “She mentioned you were a bit abrupt.”

Emma stayed silent, she was losing her resolve and realising very quickly that the brunette wasn’t off having a fling with her ex but indeed working. What absolute nonsense she thought but it still didn’t excuse the fact that Regina had been drinking in secret.

“Anyway darling, I’ve got to get back to work. It’s going to be a late one tonight. I probably won’t be able to ring you tonight to wish you both good night.” Regina sounded preoccupied.

Remaining silent, Emma felt a little dejected. She sighed. “I miss you, Gina.”

“I miss you too, Em.  I love you so much.”

“Love you too.”  Emma said, ending the call.

As she placed the phone down beside her, she sank deep into the cushioned couch and brought her knees up to her chest. What had she been thinking? It was preposterous to think that the brunette had run off with her ex-girlfriend for a few days. Since they had been together, that women’s name had never been brought up in conversation and if by any chance Mal Draak appeared on the television (Which had only happened twice since they had been married) Regina would promptly turn over the channel or leave the room.

But the secret drinking?

This still shocked Emma. She was a little angry and somewhat disappointed in the brunette.  Still unsure whether or not to confront the brunette, Emma mulled over this issue for the rest of the night. In the end, Emma decided that she would leave the issue well alone and perhaps monitor the brunette from a safe distance and if the problem got worse, confront the brunette then.  But she still wasn’t sure if this was the right thing to do.

 

**And that was the moment when looking back over her life, Emma realised she should have confronted the brunette there and then.**


	6. Chapter Six

** MOMENTS OF THE HEART **

****

** CHAPTER SIX. **

Henry lifted his chin and smiled widely. Even though the flash of the camera still startled him for a moment, the five year old was no longer scared of the bright flash of light from his brunette’s camera. He was so use to his brunette mother snapping photos of him at any given chance.

“Can I see, Momma?” He asked, stepping away from the fireplace in the lounge.

Regina nodded as she bent down to show him the moment captured on the small screen of the camera. “You look handsome, Henry.” She said, kissing the top of his head.

Henry took hold of the camera and studied his image on the screen. He looked up to his mother.

 “I didn’t even blink that time.”  He smiled.

Regina chuckled. “No, you didn't.”

It had only taken five shots before Regina was completely satisfied. The first had Henry looking totally in the wrong direction, the second he had his eyes shut, the third captured Henry picking up the cat (because Rocinante wanted to be in the photo as well,  Henry had insisted.) And the forth he was blinking.

As Regina studied the photo again, she smiled unconsciously at the strong resemblance to his blonde mother. Their similar features and even the same mannerisms Henry was now portraying was something the brunette was finding endearing. He definitely was his Mother's son. But she always  wondered what parts of her  would he inherit? Emma had always said Henry had her temperament and when he was throwing a tantrum, the blonde would pick that moment to say he was “her son”.

“Can we send it to Grandma Cora and Nanna Snow? Henry asked as he followed his mother into the kitchen.

Nanna Snow was the name Henry had given Emma’s mother a couple of years before when he over heard Emma and Regina chatting about her parents.

_Mum and Dad are freakin’ Snow White and Prince Charming. All that lovey dovey cuteness they emit can be a little over-bearing at times._  

Henry wasn’t sure what ‘freakin’ meant but he did know who Snow White & Prince Charming were. He’d seen the Disney movie a dozen times and coincidently it was always at Nanna Snows house. So after that, the name kind of stuck.

“Aha. If you want to, kid.” His blonde mother said as she finishing packing his lunch.

Today was his first day at proper school. He’d been to playgroup and then kindergarten and now as his Ma had told him, he was off to ‘proper school’.

Regina picked up the young boy and placed him on the stool so he could continue with his breakfast.

 

**~{}~**

 

Henry stood at the school gates of his new school and looked up; the building looked even bigger in real life.  Gulping loudly and a little too dramatically, he looked to his mothers who were standing just behind him, both with nervous smiles plastered over their faces.

“It’s bigger than I thought.” he murmured.

Regina glanced to the blonde who gave her wife a supportive smile. Regina had shown Henry the brochure for the school when they had been deciding where he would attend. At the time, Henry had insisted on staying at kindergarten because his friends where there and also because of the fact that Bill & Ben the class tortoises would get lonely if he went to proper school.

This led to a mini meltdown on Henry’s part but after his parents explained that only little kids stayed in kindergarten and only the ‘cool big kids’ went to proper school, Henry relented, but it came at a price. Bill & Ben had to come live with him. So that is how the tortoises came to live with the Swan-Mills family.     

Emma had wanted Henry to attend a public school but Regina had insisted on a private school that was ranked highly in the national league. In the end Regina won because she had pointed out that it was Emma who relented over the tortoises, so it was only fair.

“Remember kid, all the cool big kids come here.” Emma said, squeezing his hand gently. Henry nodded and smiled. Yep he had remembered.

A bell rang out and the once crowded forecourt started to thin out.

“Shall we go?” Emma pointedly nodded in the direction of the school.

“Yep, I’m ready.” Henry suddenly looked determined; he led his mothers through the school gates and toward the main entrance.

Reaching the entrance, Henry wearily asked.  “Do I have to stay here all day?”

“Not all day, I’ll be here at two o’clock to pick you up. We can get ice cream after school.” Emma smiled to her son.

That seemed to appease the five year old.

Upon entering the building, they went in search of Henry’s home room. As they reached the class room, they met his teacher, Miss French.  Henry tugged on his brunette’s mothers hand and loudly whispered that she looked like Belle from Beauty & the Beast.  Regina nodded at her sons’ admission. Indeed she could definitely see the resemblance.

“Okay kid, you have a great day, pay attention to what Miss French is saying and be good.” Emma said as she knelt down in front of her son.  Picking up on her son’s nervousness, she decided that  one of her super-duper mommy hugs would calm him instantly. The type of motherly hugs that would instantly fix any problem.  Pushing her luck, she kissed him on the cheek for good measure.

 Wiping the kiss away and pulling a face, Henry spoke. “Big kids don't kiss their Ma’s.”

“How about their Momma’s?” Regina asked, crouching down and sneakily kissing him on the other cheek.

Henry chuckled as he pulled away from Regina’s reach. “Nup, not their Momma’s either.”

Henry suddenly turned and took a deep breath and stood by the door, he was a little unsure if he should enter or not.  Miss French noticed his trepidation and gently encouraged him take a seat in the classroom. Henry looked to her a little confused before beckoning her to come closer. The brunette teacher crouched down as he whispered something in her ear.  Nodding affirmatively, she smiled broadly at Henry.

Henry turned back to his parents and spoke. “Miss French said they are my new friends.” And in that moment, Henry forgot about his parents and disappeared into the class room.

“We always have a few kids who are not sure on their first day.” Miss French quipped to the women.

“I’d say a few Moms as well.” Emma countered, wrapping her arms around her wife’s waist, offering her a tissue. “He’s gonna be fine, babe. See forgot us already.”

Next minute a flash of moppy brown hair crashed into their bodies, Emma picked Henry up and the three embraced.  “I love you moms.” His muffled voice said.

Five minutes later they left Henry at his classroom and exited the school. Regina was dabbing away her tears as they walked out the school gates towards their car.

“Will one of my super-duper mommy hugs make you feel better, babe?” Emma quipped as they stood at by their car. Regina nodded silently as she leant into Emma’s outstretched arms. The blonde embraced her wife tightly and placed a kiss on the brunette’s temple.

**And that was the moment when Emma and Regina realised that little Henry was growing up.**

**~{}~**

 

With the summer holidays now upon them, Henry didn’t quite understand why he wouldn’t be going to school for the next six weeks. He thought at first it was some kind of punishment and insisted that he had been good so far and was really enjoying proper school.  In that time, he had made friends, had a number of girlfriends (all which only lasted a few days to a week.) Emma & Regina couldn’t keep up with the different girls who held a light to Henry's heart. Sarah had been the latest. Or was it Emily?

Henry was upset that he wouldn’t be seeing his friends every day. But after Emma explained that he would be spending some time with Nanna Snow and Grandpa Charming on their farm he forgot all about his friends.

They would be staying with his grandparents for the next ten days.

Emma slowed the car and turned onto the dirt track that led to her parent’s farm.  Glancing into the rear-view mirror, she chuckled lightly. The brunette gaze followed the blondes as she glanced back at their son.

“Car journeys always sent him to sleep.” The brunette smiled.

“Do you remember when he was a toddler and we would drive around Boston trying to get him to sleep?” Emma quipped.

Regina chuckled. “I think we learnt every short cut through Boston.”

Emma smiled. “I’m still thinking of becoming a taxi driver.”

After a few minutes of silence, Regina turned in her seat and gently woke Henry. He slowly opened his eyes and looked out his window, taking in the rolling hills in the distance and the small paddocks full of cows.

“Nanna Snow’s...” He mumbled.

“Yep! We're here, kid.” Emma said, navigating the “Soccer Mum” car down the dusty dirt track.

Slowly pulling up next to her father’s pick-up truck, she got out the car and opened the back sliding door for Henry. He hurriedly unbuckled himself and jumped out the car, pushing past his blonde mother, glancing back briefly to Emma who had started to unload their suitcases from the car.

Next moment the front door to the farm house opened widely and out walked Emma’s mother, Mary Margaret.

“You’re here!” She said excitedly as she walked down the small set of wooden stairs and toward Henry who smiled broadly when he saw her. Running toward his grandmother, she picked him up and smothered the young brown haired boy with kisses.

After settling into their room, Emma & Regina re-joined her mother downstairs in the large family kitchen. Mary Margaret was busy preparing lunch and setting out their lunch on the table. Henry sat patiently waiting until everything was ready.

The couple sat down together at the table as Mary Margaret took her place at the end next to Henry.

“Where’s Dad?” Emma asked.

“He’s coming, just putting the sheep back in their pen.” Mary Margaret said.  “He said to start without him.”

That was good enough for Henry. He immediately reached for a bread roll and gnawed on it.

“Someone is hungry.” Mary Margaret laughed.

“He’s got hollow legs.” Emma winked to her son.

“Like mother like son.” Regina retorted as she helped herself to the salad.

This caused Emma and Henry to roll their eyes at the brunette.

It wasn’t long before David joined them in the kitchen and told Henry that he was going to be his ‘right-hand man’  while he was here.  The boy puffed out his chest in pride knowing he would be helping his grandfather on the farm.

Naturally the conversation centred on what was happening on the farm and toward how Henry was doing at school. His grandparents listen with intrigue as Henry regaled stories of his days at school.

As they finished lunch, the conversation turned to Regina and her work. Over the last six months, she had been extremely busy with work and it wasn’t uncommon now for her to away from her family more.  She spent a lot of time travelling around the country for different clients at varied lengths of time and had only been back in Boston for a week.

 “Well I guess you’ll welcome this break.” David said, collecting the plates and stacking them by the sink.

Regina sighed, remembering the heated discussion with Emma from the other day when she had said she wouldn’t be joining them at Emma’s family’s farm because she was due to fly out to Chicago on business and would be gone for a week.  The blonde wasn’t happy at this revelation because Regina had known that this had been planned for awhile and obviously forgotten. A compromise of sorts was agreed upon and Regina would stay for a few days before flying off to Chicago for a week.  

“I’m only here for a few days before I’m off to Chicago for work.”

“So, it’s not going to be much of a break...” Emma annoyance was evident, she busily cleared the left overs away.

Everyone in the room could feel the tension notch up a few degrees.  Emma’s parent’s looked to their daughter as she walked silently out the room. Next minute the slam of their bedroom door echoed through the house.

Mary Margaret’s gaze drifted to David, she subtly nodded in Henry’s direction.

Catching her drift, David picked up his grandson and spoke. “Okay buddy, it’s time for work.”

When David and Henry left the room, Mary Margaret turned to Regina who had a look of annoyance and embarrassment plastered over her face.   She could tell her daughter-in-law was deflated.

“I take it that this work trip is a bit of sore subject?” Emma’s mother said.

Regina wasn’t one to publicize her business and especially not to Emma’s family. She may be civil to the woman but she certainly didn’t like her.

“It’s been dealt with. Excuse me.” Regina curtly said, pushing herself up from the table and promptly left the kitchen.

By the time she stood in front of the bedroom door she was pissed off.  Regina was under the assumption that since the conversation they had reached a compromise.

Obviously not.

As she slowly pushed open the door, she saw Emma unpacking her case and hanging her clothes up. Shutting the door behind her, she finally spoke. “Emma?”

Emma sighed to herself and turned away from the brunette.

Rolling her eyes subtly and sighing to herself, Regina knew she was getting the silent treatment. Emma really could act like a child sometimes.

“Please stop ignoring me. I thought we had reached a compromise with this business trip.” Regina said as she stepped closer and reached for her wife’s hand but she met with thin air.

Emma had intentionally moved away and opted to create space between the two. Sighing deeply, she looked to the brunette. “Although we may reached a compromise, I can’t help but feel that Henry and I are being left a little short changed.”

Regina’s wounded expression morphed into a look of confusion.  Reaching again for Emma, she successfully clutched the blonde’s hand tightly. “Meaning?”

“You rescheduled your trip which is fine but it just feels like you have “fitted” us in when it was convenient. I understand that this trip is important and the outcome potentially huge for you but we were looking forward to spending quality time with you. Something that we haven’t done as a family for a long time.”

Regina sighed. She knew Emma was right but she also knew what this business trip to Chicago meant for her and their family as well. “Emma, you know how busy I’ve been over the last few months. I am trying my best. Do you think I’d rather spend time away from you and Henry?”

“I know you don't, it’s just that’s how I feel. Like an after thought.”

“You are never an afterthought. You or Henry.” Regina pleaded.

“Promise.” Emma said.

“I promise.” Regina said, holding her wife’s hand and giving it a squeeze.

**And that was the moment when Regina realised years later that she should have kept her promise.**

**~()~**

 

Wheeling her suitcase to the front door, Regina sighed to herself as she glanced at the time. Her flight to Chicago was only a few hours away.  With a sense of guilt washing over her, Regina had made the most of the last three days. She wanted their time together to be a happy memory not one that would be overshadowed by a silly argument.   They may have made up so to speak, but the brunette felt that Emma was still harbouring a little bit of resentment towards her. Not that she could blame Emma really. She just hoped that now when she was leaving once again for work, that Emma had finally let it go.

As she walked back through the house in search of her wife and son, she couldn’t help but feel saddened by the thought that once again she would be separated from the loves of her life. Entering the lounge, she noticed that she had forgotten to pack the novel she had been reading. Grabbing it off the coffee table and tucking it under her arm, she continued through the house, eventually finding Emma in the small granny annexe, surrounded by bicycle parts.

Regina leant against the doorframe. “What are you doing, darling?”

Emma swept away the loose tendrils of hair from her face and sighed deeply. “Dad found these bicycle parts down at the junk yard a while ago; he intended to fix it up and surprise me with it, but hasn’t got around to it. I thought I’d give it a go, so I could ride with Henry around the paddocks.”

Emma noticed that the brunette was now in her business attire. She stood, dropping the rear fender onto the pile of bicycle parts. Dusting off her hands, she stepped towards her wife. “You’re all set?”

Regina nodded but sadness flittered over her eyes. “Emma...”

The blonde held back momentarily as she waited for her wife to continue.

“Are we good?”

The blonde nodded nonchalantly but remained silent.

“When I get back from Chicago, I’ll take some time off and we’ll go away for a few days. Henry too or if he wants he can stay a little longer with your parents or stay with my mother.” She mused.

 “I’d like that. I think it’s a long time coming. Thank you.”

Regina nodded with a smile. “It’s what we need.”

The blonde nodded in agreement.

Regina glanced out the window at the sun setting in the distance. She wondered what Henry was up to. “Shall we find our son?”

Emma went to move to the back door when suddenly she was twirled around. Regina captured the blonde’s lips and kissed her deeply before pulling away slowly.

“Thank you...” the brunette said.

“For?” Emma replied a little confused.

“For been so understanding..” Regina murmured.

Emma stayed silent for a moment. This was Regina’s way of apologising without actually saying sorry.  “Regina what I understand is that you will never deliberately disregard my feelings and that ultimately the decisions you make are in our best interest. I just think that perhaps you sometimes get blindsided by your beliefs to realise you are potentially distancing yourself from us. Henry and I.”

Regina was taken back by this admission from Emma. The blonde had never expressed herself like this. “I didn't realise...” She murmured softly as she stepped back, suddenly feeling like a scolded child.

Emma considered the brunette for a moment before she spoke. “Henry is with Dad in the small barn.” She held out her hand for the brunette to take.

 

**~()~**

Emma slowly walked down the stairs; she had not long settled Henry and was now in search for some quiet time. Stepping from the bottom step, she softly padded across the wooden floor and headed toward the kitchen. As she passed the lounge, she noticed her father sleeping in his favourite armchair. With a smile and shake of her head, she entered the kitchen and wasn’t surprised to find her mother sitting at the kitchen table cradling a cup of tea.

“Henry has finally settled…” Emma mused as she sat down opposite for mother. A steaming cup of tea was slid across the table toward her.

“Good. He is growing up so fast now, Em..” Mary Margret smiled.

“Oh god, don’t I know it.” Emma chuckled as she reached for her tea and took a sip. Letting out a satisfied hum, she placed the cup back down on the table.

Mary Margaret shuffled in her seat, satisfied that they were about to spend some mother daughter time.

The moment was interrupted by Emma’s mobile vibrating against the counter top. The blonde stood and retrieved it, opened the impending message from Regina with a forced smile. 

Mary Margarget couldn’t help but notice the blonde’s smile didn’t quite reach her eyes. Ever since they had arrived she knew that something wasn’t right between the married couple.

“Emma, is everything alright between you and Regina?”

The blonde looked up from her phone; a hint of sadness escaped her eyes as she nodded.  “She’s just letting me know she arrived safely.”

Emma’s mother considered her daughter for a moment. Obviously the blonde wasn’t as forthcoming as she would like. Mary Margaret needed to press her a little harder. “How long is she away for?”

“A week.” Emma said, pocketing her phone and resuming her seat opposite her mother.

“And this business trip, what’s it for?”

“I’m not entirely sure. I think a gallery is interested in her works. I know that it’s something that she has wanted to secure for a while now.”

The older woman nodded before taking another sip of her drink.  “That’s great. I hope it’s a successfully trip then.”

The blonde smiled tightly. Although she did hope that Regina would be successful, she couldn’t help but wonder would this lead to Regina being away from her and Henry more often.

Considering her daughter’s mixed emotions, Mary Margaret had to ask. “Emma, baby what is it? Are you not happy for her…”

“No it’s not that Mom. I am happy for her, she’s deserves all this success. I just wonder if with this new venture that it means she will be spending less time at home. For a while I have felt like I have been losing her.”

Mary Margaret smiled sympathetically to her daughter. “Oh baby, Regina loves you. It’s that’s clear.  She is at the height of her career and I understand that it may feel like she’s never at home but…”

“No Mom, it’s not just work.” Emma sighed.

Mary Margaret looked a little confused. ”Then what?”

“I started losing Regina once her father passed away…”

“That’s understandable darling, Regina was grieving.”

“I get that and I would never stop her from grieving for him. He meant so much to her. My concern is that since then she has slowly been sinking. I mean finding her drunk and slumped over the counter in her Mother’s kitchen is one thing. Her father had just died but since then it’s the secret drinking…”

“I thought she didn’t drink.”

“She doesn’t but not long after her father passed, I found a bottle of whiskey hidden in her office. I monitored her for a while and hoped that she would talk to me about it but nothing.  I think now after all these years it’s now habitual.”

Mary Margaret hummed in consideration. “Have you confronted her, Emma?”

Emma shook her head. “No.”

“Has she done anything to cause concern to you or Henry?” Emma’s mother asked.

Emma shook her head.

“Perhaps she is just having a drink every now and then when she feeling low.” Mary Margaret mused.

Emma remained silent for a moment. “I hope you are right.”

 

**And that was the moment when Emma started to open up to someone else about her concerns.**


	7. Chapter Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And the angst dial gets turned up just a bit. Enjoy. ~ RamblingtowardsEcstasy

** MOMENTS OF THE HEART **

** CHAPTER SEVEN **

 

Regina’s business trip to Chicago had turned out to be a failure of sorts. She was there to negotiate terms for a contract with a large gallery to house some of her works perminately but at the last minute it had established that a deal couldn’t be made due to lack of guaranteed financial backing from both parties.

Regina returned to Boston with her tail between her legs and no clear view of how her future in this industry would pan out.

It seemed that her name alone didn’t hold much value in today’s industry.

With her and Emma sorting out their difference before she left for Chicago, it was decided that when she returned the three of them would spend some time together. All work put aside for the duration.

Emma and Henry weren’t due home for another two days and with her return to Boston earlier than scheduled; this worked out in Regina’s favour. It gave her enough time to lick her wounds and possibly come up with another plan to expand her name in the industry.

The house felt empty without Emma and Henry being there; Regina was finding it harder with every passing hour. She needed to escape and surround herself with people. She had an idea. Something that would preoccupy herself for a few hours. Grabbing her photography travel bag, she slung it over her shoulder and headed for the front door. Reaching the side table that stood just inside the door, she pulled open the drawer and grabbed the set of keys inside.

Slamming the front door shut, she marched around to the garage at the back of the house and pulled open the doors. As she entered, she pushed a few boxes out of the way and pulled off the dust cover to the Bug.

When they had bought the “Soccer Mom” van as Emma so politely called it, she didn’t have the heart to sell Emma’s beloved bug after all. Instead, she had paid for it to be restored to its former glory.  The yellow bug had been sitting in the garage for the last six years, only taken out on the rare occasion and started once a month to make sure the engine still kicked over. Oh and also on a promise that it would be Henry’s first car.

Turning the key in the ignition, the bug’s engine sprung to life as it woke from its slumber. She was somewhat pleased because she knew Emma hadn’t started the engine for at least three weeks. Rubbing the dash in gratitude, she shunted forward and was quickly off down the road.

Just her and bug.

Hours later she pulled up outside “The White House”. Her studio.  Retrieving her travel photography bag from the backseat, she climbed the external staircase to her small studio. Although she still owed the whole building, she actually had been renting out the apartment to an industry acquaintance she had known for years. It didn’t look like she was at home at present and Regina was grateful for that. She was on somewhat of a mission.

As she closed the door behind her, she flicked on the lights and the studio came to life. She placed her bag down on the large wooden bench that preoccupied the length of the back wall. She retrieved her camera from the bag and then disappeared into her dark room.

Regina only worked with film when producing photographs for an exhibition or for personal use. She still loved the process of mixing the chemicals; developing the photograph and seeing it come to life. Even to this day it still fascinated her. When she was working for a client, she would use her digital camera. It was easier and quicker for herself and for the clients.

Stepping out of her dark room a little while later with a smile pile of prints, she got to work. Studying the photos at her bench, she groaned to herself. It seemed light had corrupted some of the negatives.

Rubbing her hands across her face, she couldn’t believe what had happened; all that time spent capturing the photos ruined because she obviously hadn’t inserted the film right. She was annoyed at herself for being careless.  But was thankful that she hadn’t been so careless while working, this mistake would have cost her money, time and possibly the job.

Gathering the prints and negatives into a pile, she dropped them in the waste paper bin before slumping down on the old brown leather sofa in defeat. She was all out of ideas. Sighing forlornly to herself, she stood and gathered her belongings before turning off the lights and locking up the studio for the night.

Parking the Bug back into the garage, she entered the house from the back door and went straight to the study. She needed to check her emails and also keep herself occupied from the emptiness of the house. As she sat down at her desk and fired up her laptop she thought about the failed business trip. She still was a little miffed by it all. Had she been clued in about her financial status by her accountant beforehand, she wouldn’t have made herself look a fool in front of the gallery board.

Without even thinking, she opened the bottom drawer of her desk and retrieved the bottle of whiskey and tumbler. She poured herself a large amount and knocked it back in two large gulps.

Pouring herself another glass, she gulped the liquid down in one hit as she logged onto her emails. As she scrolled down the page, her eyes flicked over the page of unread emails. There was nothing that couldn’t wait until tomorrow. Unconsciously she started to pour herself another glass of whiskey and gulp it down quickly. Sighing to herself, she logged out and turned off her laptop. Pushing herself away from the desk, she casually walked out the room before returning a second later.

Fuck!

She’d forgotten to hide the whiskey. If Emma had found it sitting on her desk, that would most certainly pertain to a fresh argument. Placing the bottle and tumbler back in the drawer, she left her office and decided to relax in the lounge for awhile, either reading her book or watching a movie.

Sinking into the sofa, she decided on both. She’d read her novel and put the television on for some background noise.

Sometime later she glanced up from her novel toward the television. The end credits of a movie were now slowly rolling down the screen. She’d totally lost track of time. Resting her book on her lap, she pointed the remote at the television and started flicking the channels quickly. Most channels were now showing info-commercials and she really didn’t want to hear about the latest work out equipment or steam mop that promised to eliminate nearly all household found bacteria.

She was about to give up when she found herself stopping on the most popular tabloid gossip show direct from Hollywood.  A red carpet reporter was gossiping about the stars in attendance at whatever awards show that had been previously shown a day or so before. To be honest, Regina had never heard of most of them. She gathered though they must be pretty big deals because the reporter was just a little too excited when she was talking about them. She was about to change the channel when a familiar face entered the screen.

Her ex-girlfriend, Mal Draak.

Now normally what would happen if Mal graced the screen in the past, Regina would either walk out the room or change the channel so fast that Emma wouldn’t have a clue what was going on. But she didn’t this time, perhaps it was the amount of alcohol she had in her system. Okay not a lot but enough for Regina to be curious. She turned up the volume and listened as the reporter spoke about Mal and introduced her as their new fashion editor on the show.

_Crafty Bitch!_ Regina thought.  

It seems she’s getting another fifteen minutes of fame.

Regina listened and scoffed to herself as Mal went into some superficial and self righteous spiel   about her achievements to date. She rolled her eyes when the reporter finished the segment by saying that Mal was a leading authority in the fashion world and this really was an honour for the show to snag Mal away from whatever magazine she was running.

Regina was about to turn the television off when she noticed Mal appear in the background with a rather attractive brunette woman by her side. Her arm draped over the poor girl like she owned her. As the couple turned toward the paparazzi photographers, Regina couldn’t help but notice the brunette was the spitting image of herself.

She couldn’t believe what she had seen. Mal Draak really had some gall. But at the end of the day, she had walked away from the blonde, moved on and was now in a happy marriage with a son. But then again, she couldn’t believe that after all these years, it was obvious that Mal Draak still wasn’t over her.

**And that was the moment when Regina thought screw it, she was getting drunk tonight.**

 

**~{}~**

 

It wasn’t the jiggling of the keys in the front door or Henry persistently calling her name over and over but Emma’s voice asking their son to go upstairs and play that woke her from her sleep.

Blinking slowly and raising her head from the cushion, Regina tried to get her bearings. She sat up and held her head for a moment as she looked around the lounge. How was it that she had waked here, on the sofa in their lounge? Her eyes travelled the length of her wife's body and stopped when she saw the expression on Emma’s face. Frowning, she closed her eyes and slumped back onto the sofa. At that precise moment she couldn’t care less what Emma must have been thinking.

It was the tisk and incoherent mumble that trailed off into the distance that made Regina realise she had fucked up, royally.

From the couch she could hear Emma going about her business in the kitchen. Albeit just that little bit louder than usual.

Sitting up and running her fingers through her hair, she decided she might as well make some sort of effort of an explanation and apology. She noticed the empty bottle of whiskey on the coffee table and the tumbler beside it.

Yep she’d been caught.

Picking them both up and stumbling rather disjointedly toward the kitchen, she noticed Emma was in the process of feeding the animals.  An open pouch of cat food and the tortoise’s food sat beside each other on the counter top. At that moment, their cat Rocinante strode into the kitchen, meowed appeasingly to Regina and circled around Emma's feet. She was hungry.

Emma ignored the brunette’s presence and picked up the cat food and forked it into her bowl before placing it on the floor beside her feet. Rocinante meowed a gratuitous thank you and got stuck into her dinner. Emma glanced at Regina as she picked up the tortoises food and disappeared out onto the back decking area.

Regina could hear Emma cleaning out their enclosure.  She sat down at the breakfast bar and hung her head for second. It was the glass of water and two painkillers that were placed in front of her that made her raise her head and look to her wife. The blonde stood firmly against the opposite counter with her arms crossed over her chest.

“Emma...” Regina finally murmured.

“What?” Emma frowned.

Picking up the tablets and throwing her head back, Regina swallowed them in one gulp. She greedily drank the rest of the water.

“I can explain...” She said, placing the glass back on the counter top.

“Please do...” Emma retorted. “But I think I understand now why I got an incoherent phone call at two o’clock in the morning.”

Regina was confused; she didn’t remember ringing her wife. “I rang you?”

Emma nodded. “You insisted on talking to Henry, Regina.”

The brunette pulled a face. No, she didn’t remember any of that.

Emma stayed silent for a moment and then spoke. “Was that a full bottle of whiskey before you started drinking yourself into a stupor, last night.”

Regina picked up the empty bottle and shook her head. “It was three quarter full.”

Emma sighed. “So let me get this straight and correct me if I am wrong. From your phone call,  I gathered you saw your ex on the television and you couldn’t deal with it, so instead of turning it off and going to bed, you decided that drinking from your secret stash of whiskey you have in your office was a better idea. Then you phone me at God knows what time to drunkenly ramble about how she has replaced you and insist on talking to our six year old son to the point where I listen to you pass out on the other end of the phone.”

“You know about the whiskey?” Regina murmured.

“Regina, I have known about it for years. I’ve never said anything because I rationalized that you were still grieving for your father and perhaps I should have confronted you sooner, but I haven’t, because frankly it’s never been a problem. Not until now obviously.”

“It isn’t a problem. I haven’t got a drinking habit.  I have a glass every now and then to cope. “

“Because you’re still grieving?”

Regina nodded silently.

Sighing deeply, Emma knew she couldn’t stay angry with the brunette for much longer. This was the first honest conversation they were having in a long time and it felt liberating. But she was still annoyed by her wife’s behaviour of late. “I was worried about you; I imagined you alone and passed out in some hotel room in Chicago when in fact I come home to find you comatose on the couch. God only knows what Henry must have thought when he saw you laying there.”

Regina wasn’t sure if Emma expected an answer. “That wasn’t my intention, for you to worry about me.”  

 “Well, what was?” Emma countered.

Regina didn’t say anything at first, she thought about what she was going to say but decided against it. Sighing heavily, she ran her fingers through her hair. “I...look Em. I came back early from Chicago. The business trip was a failure. Basically they can’t guarantee any financial backing and neither can I. So everything has fallen through.”

Sceptically looking at her wife, Emma finally spoke. “Gina, I’m sorry that your trip didn’t go the way you hoped. But I am sure something will come up in the future with other deals and clients but overall I think I am more disappointed than angry with you.”

“Because I’m drinking?”

Emma nodded. “Yes. Partly. Also because you’ve kept this from me and for no reason, really.  I wished you had confined in me, expressed that you are still grieving. You know I’d give you my full support and help you any way I can. But instead it seems like you’re slowly pulling away from me, Regina. Me and Henry. I can’t figure out if it is intentional or not. 

Regina slid off the stool and stood before her wife, reaching for her hands to take.  “It isn’t intentional.”

Emma nodded slowly, believing that Regina wouldn’t deliberately hurt her. “Good.” She whispered.

**And that was the moment when everything started to spiral out of control.**

 

**~{}~**

 

Even though there had been a noticeable tension between the blonde and brunette over the last couple of weeks, Regina kept her word and took some time off work to spend quality time with Emma and Henry.  Deciding on a week’s getaway to Cape Cod.  The warm summer weather provided the perfect backdrop for their little adventure. And it was clear to see the tension slipping away from them as they spent each day taking in the sights and beaches, trying different local cuisines and exploring the small surrounding towns. 

The holiday indeed had the desired affect that they as a couple hoped for.  The conversations of late left behind as they enjoyed every minute together with their son. Their last day was spent at the beach. Henry had been excited since the moment he had woken that morning and was eager to get to the beach quickly. Thankfully it was a short drive from the Bed n’ Breakfast that they had based themselves at for the week.

“Mom’s looks!!” Henry called out over his shoulder as he crouched down on the hard wet sand in front of his find.

The married couple traipsed bare foot through the dry sand onto the wet and strolled over to their son. They bent down beside the boy.

“You found a star fish, Henry.” Regina smiled to her son.

He smiled excitedly towards her and then glanced back to the little star fish in front of him.

“Can I keep it?” He murmured.

“It needs to go back in the sea, kid.” Emma glanced sympathetically to Henry.

The six year old stood and looked to the impending waves as they rolled into the shore. A hint of anxiousness apparent in his gaze.  Although he had been to the beach before and swam in the surf albeit knee deep, he was still a little frightened by the waves.

Emma and Regina stood up, their eyes drawn to the waves and then to their son.

“We’ll do it together, sweetheart.” Regina smiled down to her son.

Henry turned back to the starfish and bent down, confidently picking it up; he started walking towards the waves.

The small family stood ankle deep in the water, watching for the right moment to enter deeper into the water. Henry hesitantly stepped forward first and started to wade deeper until the water reached his knees.  Hesitantly he glanced over his shoulder to his mothers’ who were a few steps behind him before continuing on his mission to return the little star fish to the ocean. He stopped still when the water reached his waist.

“That’s far enough, kid.” Emma said as she stood beside her son.

With a proud smile, Henry glanced to his blonde mother and then to the little star fish in his palm before tossing it into the water. The three of them watched as the current swept the little star fish away from them and out to the deeper waters.

Deciding to carry on with their walk along the beach, it wasn’t long before Henry once again ran ahead of his mother’s. Regina would call out to their son not to go too far and this was met with a head nod and toothy grin by the six year old before dashing off up the beach a little further.  This was met with an eye roll by both mothers’.

With Henry a short distance away, Regina slowed to a stop. She kept a watchful eye on their son but focused most of her attention on her wife. Squeezing the blonde’s hands, she pulled Emma close to her and nuzzled into the blonde’s wavy blonde hair.

“I have had a lovely time, darling.” She whispered against the blonde’s ear.

Emma nodded as her eyes left their son and focused on the brunette. “I have too.”

The brunette gave a genuine smile. “I think Henry has enjoyed himself as well.”  She glanced over to the six year old.

Emma glanced to her son who it seemed had found another sea creature to save. “I’d say so. I wonder if there will be a tantrum tomorrow when we leave.” she chortled.

Regina chuckled “More than likely.”

Emma smirked slightly as she tilted her head and kissed her wife on the cheek. “Thank you.”

“For what?” Regina asked.

“For keeping your word.” Emma said.

Regina nodded slightly. “It’s what we both needed, darling. All of us.”

Emma nodded.

Regina gaze fell upon the impending waves as they crashed into the shore. “I think we should make this a regular thing. Spend time here during the summer every year.”

Emma smiled. She liked the sound of that. “Hmm, that would be nice.”

 

**And that was the moment Emma remembered a year later as their first and last family holiday.**

 


	8. Chapter Eight

** MOMENTS OF THE HEART  **

**CHAPTER EIGHT**

“Henry Daniel Mills!” Emma shouted.  “We’re going to be late.”

Sighing deeply, Emma padded down the hallway toward the front door. She glanced back towards the stairs in hope that her son was coming. Toying with her car keys in her hands, Emma waited for her six year old son. At that moment her brunette wife appeared in the kitchen doorway, frowning slightly as she hovered at the bottom of the stairs.  Unsure if she should intervene or not, Regina glanced to her wife before directing her gaze to the top of the stairs.  She was about to call out for her son when he suddenly appeared at the top.

“I couldn’t find my shoes…” Henry grumbled as he bounded down the stairs and passed his brunette mother.

Emma sighed to herself as she opened the front door. “Give your mom a goodbye kiss, kid.”

 The boy turned on his heel and embraced his brunette mother. “Bye Mom.”

As Regina kissed the top of his head, she murmured. “Bye my darling, have a good day at school.”

With an affirmative nod, Henry continued on his way to the front door. Emma ushered him outside and glanced back to her wife.  “I’ll see you later.”

Before Regina could reply to her wife, she was met with a slamming of the front door.  Shaking her head sadly, she turned on her heel and retreated back to the kitchen.

**~()~**

Usually the journey to school was marred with a conversation of Henry’s  choosing.  It usually ranged from the going on’s at school or about what he was intending to do after school. But today, both mother and son seemed lost deep in their own personal thoughts.  As Emma tried to concentrate on the road ahead, her thoughts easily slipped back to the conversation that she and Regina had had earlier that morning.

_“Emma, It’s like I’ve been tainted with...I don’t know a curse or something.  It just like my name now is not worth the piece of paper it’s written on.”_

_“You’ve had work though.”_

_“Nothing substantial. Only local jobs that last a day at the most.”_

_“But still it’s something.”_

_“It’s nothing! That’s what it is.” Regina retorted sharply._

_“Hey, I’m only trying to help, there’s no need to bite my head off.” Emma defended._

_Regina sighed as she ran her fingers through her hair. She was feeling frustrated with everything. She knew Emma didn’t deserve to be spoken to like that. “I know..It’s just…” She trailed off._

_“Listen Gina, I understand that you’re frustrated with the lack of work and that over the last few months things haven’t gone your way. I know losing that deal in Chicago hit you hard but I’m positive that there will be something better in the future.”_

_“I don’t need a hope speech Emma; I need clients to be filling my diary!” Regina snarled as she repeatedly dabbed at the leather covered diary in front of her._

_Emma held up her hands in defence and stepped away from her wife, retreating to the other side of the kitchen. Drawing her eyes from the clock, she studied her wife for a moment. “I need to get Henry to school.”  She muttered as she pushed off from the counter and silently walked passed her brunette wife._

“Ma?”

Emma broke from her reverie and glanced to her son in the rear view mirror. “Hmm..”

“Is Mom coming to the Halloween party on Friday?”

Emma nodded. “She’s even got a costume, Kid.”

“Really?”

“Yep. I’m dressing up as well.” She chortled as she quickly glanced over her shoulder. 

Henry smiled back at his mother. “And we’re still going trick or treating?”

Emma nodded; her eyes met his in the mirror. “Aha and then we’re going to the party. It’s going to be a late night, Kid.”

Henry nodded and smiled. He had been looking forward to Halloween. Aside from Christmas it was his favourite holiday. 

Pulling up in her usual spot outside the school, Emma said her goodbyes and wished Henry a good day before watching him walk into the school. Re-joining the traffic minutes later, the blonde selfishly welcomed this moment of solitary. With how things were left this morning between her and Regina, this short time spent apart could almost be seen as a blessing in disguise. Giving her time to reflect on the conversation, the issues that seemed to be marring their relationship and her own personal worries that she held deep inside for her wife.

**~()~**

Emma entered the kitchen and dropped her car keys on the countertop. Glancing over toward the kitchen island, Regina’s diary sat open in the same position as it was this morning. The brunette was of course nowhere to be seen. Depositing the bag of groceries on the counter top, Emma went in search of her wife.

Finding the brunette in her office, Emma leant against the open door and surveyed the scene before her.  Regina was sitting at her desk with a bottle of whiskey and tumbler sitting purposely on top of her desk. 

The blonde’s brow lifted expectedly when the brunette noticed her standing in the doorway.

“I wanted a drink.”

“It’s quarter past ten in the morning, Regina.”

Regina scoffed.  “It’s one drink, Emma. Just one.”

Emma shook her head and rolled her eyes. Obviously the brunette’s mood hadn’t improved since their conversation this morning.  “Well at least you’re not hiding it anymore.” 

Regina’s eyes narrowed as she took in the tone of Emma’s remark.  Perhaps she deserved it but what she didn’t appreciate was the concealed judgement coming from her wife.

“There’s no need anymore, you know about it…” The brunette shrugged.

Emma sighed heavily; she didn’t have the energy for this today.   For the last few weeks, Regina’s mood had been unpredictable and the blonde couldn’t help but notice the wall Regina was building around herself.  It seemed every time Emma tried to get close or even knock it down just that little bit, the more the brunette would pull away that little bit more.

Their mini vacation in Cape Cod had been something that they all had needed. It was chance to evaluate and reaffirm that they were both on the same page.  That their little family was still strong enough to battle against anything that would be thrown their way.  But since their return, Emma couldn’t help but realise that the holiday had only concealed the issues temporary  and now that they were back home, the small cracks were starting to reappear again.  And it almost seemed as though Regina was oblivious and not at all concerned.

If Emma thought about it really hard, she could trace Regina’s current mood back to when the holiday bubble had finally popped and normality crept back into their daily lives.

Regina eyed the blonde intensely, she was waiting for another back handed comment but it never came. Emma shook her head slowly and muttered something to herself as she turned on her heel and walked back downstairs, away from the brunette.

Regina slumped back into her chair and poured herself another drink.

**~()~**

Emma strapped the red, white and blue circular shield to her son’s back. The six year old turned and looked to his mother, his toothy grin lighting up his face.  Henry slipped into the well-practised stance as he looked into the freestanding mirror that stood in the corner of his mother’s room.  Puffing out his chest, he rested his hands firmly on his hips.

“I look just like Captain America!”

“You definitely do.  No one is going to mess with you, Kid.” Emma chortled as she stood behind her six year old son and looked into the mirror.

Henry moved away from the mirror and started punching and kicking the air around him. He was demonstrating his moves on a pretend villain.

Emma turned away from the mirror and picked up the white storm trooper helmet from the end of the bed and slipped it on over her head. She glanced back into the mirror before twirling on the spot making sure that the costume covered her properly. To say Emma was a little excited would be an understatement.  Ever since she was a kid she had wanted to dress up as a Storm Trooper from the Star Wars films for Halloween.   Clapping her hands together excitedly, she turned to her son who was still karate kicking his way around her bedroom.

“How do I look, Kid?” Emma’s muffled voice resonated from under the helmet.

Henry stopped mid-kick and moved closer to his mother.  “You look so cool, Ma!!”

Giving double thumbs up, Emma took off the helmet and placed it back on the bed.  They still had a little time before they were due to go out trick or treating.  Emma glanced over at Regina’s costume hanging on the door of the wardrobe.  Frowning to herself, she knew that Regina would need to start getting ready.

“Kid, go and watch tv until we’re ready to go. I’m going to tell Mom she needs to start getting ready.”

Henry nodded as he skipped out the room and raced down the stairs to the lounge.  Emma padded across the landing and headed toward Regina’s office.  Standing outside the closed door, Emma tentatively knocked a few times as she opened the door and stood in the doorway.

The last few days had seen both women actively avoiding each other as much as possible when they were alone but before and after school when Henry was around, they tried their best to act civil toward each other and put up a united front.  But Henry wasn’t fooled, he knew that his mothers were arguing and not really talking to one another. He could feel the tension whenever the three of them were together. He had asked Emma the day before if they were fighting. To which Emma had given him a rather vague answer. 

Regina was on her mobile talking to someone. The brunette glanced up at the blonde and placed her hand over the speaker.

“Sorry to interrupt but you need to start getting ready. It’s nearly time for trick or treating.”  Emma apologetically said.

Regina frowned as she glanced at the clock. Sighing softly, she hadn’t realised the time.

“I’ll be there in a minute; I need to finish this call. Potential client.”

“Okay, your costume is hanging up in the bedroom.”   Emma said as she backed out the room and closed the door before making her way back to her bedroom to retrieve the storm trooper helmet.

Standing at the top of the stairs, Emma’s eyes lingered on the closed door to Regina’s office.  She could hear a muffled chuckle come from beyond the door.  It didn’t seem as though Regina was wrapping up the phone call at all.  Sighing to herself, Emma trudged languidly down the stairs, hoping that Regina wasn’t going to blow them out tonight. And especially not Henry. Their six year old had been looking forward to tonight’s events for such a long time.

Emma kept herself busy as she pottered around the kitchen while she waited for the brunette. She glanced up at the clock and realised that it had been nearly an hour since she’d spoken to Regina. Henry entered the kitchen and stood by the refrigerator.

“Ma, is Mom ready yet? I wanna go.” He whined.  “All the good candy is gonna be gone.”

“I don’t know. Why don’t you go see?”

Henry huffed and turned on his heel, disappearing out of the kitchen. Emma listened as the six year old stomped up the stairs. A few minutes later, she heard Henry stomp back down the stairs. Instead of returning to the kitchen, he had gone directly to the lounge. Emma padded out of the kitchen, glanced up the stairs and heard Regina’s office door shut firmly. She then glanced toward the lounge where her son was.

  “What did she say, Kid?”  Emma asked as she entered the lounge.

But she knew the answer straight away. Tears welled in his eyes as he sniffed dryly.

“She said she isn’t going.” He muttered.

Oh no, she couldn’t believe Regina had done that to him. To them.

Frowning, the blonde crossed her arms over her chest and studied the boy for a moment. She felt sorry for their son. He had been looking forward to them going out as a family trick or treating and even attending the Halloween Party at his school.

“Get your candy bucket, Kid. We’re going!” Emma said as she disappeared out of the lounge and retrieved her helmet from the kitchen.

Henry was waiting by the front door when Emma appeared again.  The blonde glanced up the stairs momentarily and then looked back to her son. “Wait a minute, Henry.”   Discarding her storm trooper helmet on the step, she quickly ascended up the stairs and headed toward Regina’s office.

Emma didn’t bother to knock; she opened the door widely and entered Regina’s office.  The brunette looked up and immediately stopped what she was doing.   She was shocked by the sudden intrusion.  Emma stood firmly in front of the brunette’s work desk.

“Is this really that more important than spending time with your family, Regina.”

The brunette pushed herself away from her desk and stood. “I have secured work, which is potentially going to last until Christmas.”

Emma sighed. “I’m happy for you. Seriously I am. I told you something would come along. But I also am feeling angry and sad. Our six year old son is downstairs, gutted that his Mom isn’t coming trick or treating.  You promised that you would go with him. You know he has been looking forward to this for such a long time.”  

“What do you want from me, Emma?  I finally land back on my feet and you’re still not happy!  I just don’t get it!”  Regina gritted her teeth together as she threw her arms up in the air.

“I don’t need anything from you! But our son wanted you tonight!  And you can’t even give him an hour of your time.” Emma’s chest heaved as she shouted back at the brunette before disappearing out of the office.

Regina seethed with anger.  Quickly following the blonde, she stopped mid-way down the stairs when she realised that it would be a waste of time.  Emma had already hurriedly ushered Henry out the front door.

**~()~**

Emma and Henry had been walking together in silence for the last ten minutes. They had only stopped at one house and Henry had received a handful of candy. Not that he seemed interested in it now. He was still too upset by the scene that had unfolded back at the house. He had heard every word that had been exchanged between his mothers and was wondering if he was the cause of their argument.

As they reached the end of the block and crossed the street, Henry looked to his mother and noticed the blonde was furiously wiping away tears that were welling in her eyes.  Reaching the other side, Henry stopped still and let go of Emma’s hand. The blonde turned to her son for an explanation.

“Come on, Kid.” Emma glanced over her shoulder toward the next row of houses.

Henry lowered his eyes and scuffed the toe of his shoe against the footpath. “I don’t want go trick or treating.”

The blonde frowned as she crouched down in front of her son. “Why? You love Halloween!”

“I don’t anymore...”

Emma tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “Since when? You’ve been talking about this for weeks..”

“I know. It’s just … I made you and mom have a fight. I want to go home.”  Henry’s bottom lip quivered as he tried to hold back the tears.

Emma embraced her son and held him close to her chest. His mop of brown hair nuzzled into the crook of her neck. “Hey, no crying baby. Shhhh..Shhh..Shhh its okay.” She let go of her son and wiped away the tears that were forming in his eyes. “Listen to me, kid. You didn’t make me and mom have a fight. That had nothing to do with you. Okay?”

Henry nodded but he wasn’t entirely convinced. “I didn’t?”

“No kid, you didn’t.” Emma shook her head as she subtly wiped away her own tears.

Henry smiled a little and he glanced back to his candy bucket. “Can we do this block then go home?”

Emma chuckled to herself as she stood and took a hold of his hand. “Of course, kid.”

**~()~**

Emma and Henry had returned home from trick or treating about twenty minutes later.   Emma had made them both a hot chocolate and they were snuggled together on the sofa watching their favourite Halloween movie. 

Upon returning home, Emma couldn’t help but wonder if Regina was here. She couldn’t hear any sign that the brunette was and if Emma was being honest with herself, she hoped in a way that Regina wasn’t.  Although her anger had subsided, she was still feeling disappointed by Regina and felt extremely sorry for Henry. 

Glancing toward her son who was currently rummaging through his candy bucket, she kissed the top of his head and got up from the sofa.   Making her way silently up the stairs, she automatically went to Regina’s office. The door was open and the room empty. Turning from the office, she padded across the landing and headed for their bedroom.

Pushing the door slowly, she was met with the darkness of the room but could make out the brunette’s figure lying on their bed. As Emma entered the room, Regina’s gentle sobbing subsided.  The brunette acknowledged Emma’s presence by flicking on the bedside lamp.

A soft glow filtered around the room.

Emma tentatively stepped closer to the brunette and crossed her arms over her chest. Regina was lying on her side hugging Emma’s pillow close to her chest.

“I’m sorry...” Regina murmured.

She then shuffled over, allowing Emma enough space to sit down on the bed beside her.  Taking the pillow away from the brunette, Emma laid down and snuggled into the brunette’s open embrace.

“I’m sorry, too.” Emma softly whispered as the brunette’s arms encased her.

**And that was the moment when it seemed there was still some hope for their marriage.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And the angst dial was just turned up a little bit more, preparing us for the last two (very) angst driven chapters of this story. Oh I need to also mention, there won't be an update next Monday. I will be off enjoying my summer holidays. :) ~ RamblingtowardsEcstasy


	9. Chapter Nine

** MOMENTS OF THE HEART  **

**CHAPTER NINE**

“Aunty Ruby, Nooooo!!!!” Henry squealed as he squirmed away from the brunette and hid behind his blonde mother.

“What’s wrong little dude? Are you too old for kisses and hugs from your god mother?” Ruby chortled.

“I’m seven now, Aunty Ruby.” Henry smiled broadly as he stepped beside his mother.

“Seven? Whoa you’re practically a grown up…” Ruby winked.

“Oh don’t I know it…” Emma playfully rolled her eyes as she pushed open the glass door and ushered Henry outside.  Handing Henry his woollen hat and gloves, she turned back to Ruby.

“Thanks for lunch, Rubes.” Emma smiled.

“Any time, Swan.” Ruby said as she fixed the collar of her woollen coat.

The three of them started walking down the sidewalk to the blonde’s car. Once it was in sight, Henry skipped ahead and stopped before it. This allowed the friends to have a little privacy.  Emma slowed her pace to a stop but kept a watchful eye on her son.

“About rejoining the force, Rubes. The proposition sounds interesting, but I’m not sure. I know you said that I could do that ‘fast-track’ degree thingy. But I’ve also been thinking about getting back into bail bonds. It means I could work for myself, fit it around Henry and his schooling. Also I can still have some sort of a life.”

Ruby nodded. “Makes sense, I guess. Yeah, since making detective, my life has been put on hold.” She sighed deeply. “But you know if you change your mind, say the word, I’ll have a word with the chief.”

Emma smiled. “Thanks, Rubes.”

The brunette glanced toward the young brown haired boy and then back to Emma. 

“What has Regina said about it all?”

Emma shrugged. “I haven’t really spoken to her about returning to work. But I’m sure she’ll be supportive of any decision I make.”

“Well that’s good to hear.”

Emma gave a sad smile.

“And how’s things between you two now?”

Emma gave a non-committal shrug. “Yeah it’s okay. The last little while has been better between us.”

“Is she still drinking?”

The blonde ran her fingers through her hair as she thought about how much to mention to the brunette.  She was hesitating to divulge too much to her ex-colleague and friend. 

Although Emma had previously confided in Ruby about her wife’s drinking habits and their marital problems. She’d always given the brunette the glossed over abridged version of events. It wasn’t because she didn’t trust Ruby because she did. It was because Emma’s natural reaction was to always supress her own feelings and make it difficult for anyone to penetrate her emotional layers.  It was a coping mechanism that she had devised for herself from an early age.  And so far in life, it had worked well for her.

In the end she simply nodded and murmured a sad ‘Yes’.

“Is it causing a problem?”

Emma knew that her brunette friend wouldn’t be satisfied with her somewhat guarded reply and would continue to keep asking questions. She needed to satisfy the brunette with a well-crafted reply.

“In the past it’s caused some concern but at the moment she assures me it’s manageable.” Emma sighed.

The brunette studied the blonde for a moment. She wasn’t convinced and knew that there was more to what Emma was saying. But she knew if she pushed the blonde any further, it was likely Emma would recoil her emotional walls and potentially shut her out altogether.

With a resigned nod, she decided not to push Emma any further.

Emma glanced away, she knew she was close to tears and to be honest she really didn’t want to get into something so deep here on a sidewalk in downtown Boston.  Shaking her head so as to clear her emotions, she looked back to her friend.

But it was too late; the brunette had seen the wavering emotion in the blonde’s guarded jade green eyes. And in that instance, she knew there was definitely more to this story than the blonde was saying.  Reaching out for the blonde to console her, Ruby spoke. “Oh Emma.”  

But it was too late, the revelation of unguarded emotions retreated deep back inside the blonde.

“Anyway…” Emma glanced to Henry. She could tell her son was now bored of waiting. “I should go…”

Ruby gaze never drifted from the blonde. Taking a hold of her hands, she pulled Emma in for a hug. As they embraced, Ruby spoke. “Listen, you know where I am if you wanna chat.”

Emma nodded as she stepped out of the embrace. “Take care, Rubes. I’ll ring you soon.”  The blonde said as she started to walk toward her son and car.

Ruby watched Emma walk off but remembered something that would pique the blonde’s interest. Well she hoped anyway. “Oh! Emma…”

Emma spun around to the brunette.

“Listen, the guys are getting together in a couple of weeks. Do you fancy it?”

Emma thought about it for a second, she would love to see the ‘guys’ again.

“Yeah, why not? Ring me closer to the date to remind me.”  Emma waved goodbye to her friend.

“Will do! See ya little dude...” Ruby waved.

Henry smiled and waved excitably before badgering his mother to hurry up.

**And that was the moment when Emma’s coping mechanism almost let her down for the first time.**

 

**~()~**

“Do you mind dropping me off at the studio, Emma?” Regina asked, wiping the residual coffee from the corner of her mouth. “I need to finish off a couple of things before Monday.”

Emma shook her head as she lowered her coffee mug and placed it on the kitchen counter top.

“No, it’s fine. I need to do some grocery shopping today anyway.  After I drop you off, I can head over to Gino’s and grab what I need.”

“Thank you” Regina said, slipping off the stool and placing her mug in the sink. Turning back around, she kissed the top of Emma’s head before walking out of the kitchen and headed back upstairs to finish getting ready.

Emma silently watched her wife leave the room before lifting the mug back to her lips and finish the rest of her coffee. At that moment, Henry entered the kitchen.

“Kid, get your shoes and jacket on.”

“Why?” Henry asked as he stopped in front of the fridge.

“We’re going to drop your Mom off at her studio then go to Gino’s.”

Henry’s eyes lit up. He loved Gino’s! According to Henry they had the best cannoli’s in town.  “Can we get some..”

“Cannoli’s? Yep.” Emma drained the rest of her coffee down the sink as Henry fist pumped the sky, turned on his heels and raced upstairs to his room.

The blonde sighed as she shook her head. It would be pointless to scold him for running in the house as he was already upstairs in his room.

**~()~**

 

The soccer mom van pulled up outside ‘The White House’ about twenty minutes later. As Emma applied the handbrake she glanced toward the building. She noticed the “To Let” sign leaning against the downstairs window.

“You never told me that Agnes moved out?” The blonde glanced back to Regina.

The brunette looked to the sign and then back to her wife. “Oh, I forgot. Yeah, she moved out about two weeks ago. She was moving to Los Angeles. Something to do with her work.” Regina trailed off.

“I’m going to miss Agnes.” Emma mused.

“Me too, it was nice knowing someone else was there during the day.” Regina said as opened her door.  She glanced back to her son who was pre-occupied with his hand held video game. “I’ll see you tonight, sweetheart. Don’t eat all the cannoli’s” She chortled.

Henry’s eyes never left his video game as he murmured some sort of response.

Rolling her eyes subtly to herself, she supposed that she should be grateful for any form of response from their seven year old son. Since Halloween, Henry seemed to barely acknowledge his brunette mother at all. She knew she had messed up back then, letting her son down immensely and over time since, she had tried to rectify the mistakes she had made but it seemed Henry’s stubbornness was hard to crack.  She turned back to her wife who just shrugged her shoulders.

“Shall I pick you up later?” Emma asked.

Regina shook her head. “No it’s fine, I’m not sure what time I’m going to finish. I’ll catch a taxi home.”

As Regina closed the door behind her, she glanced into the back window at their son. He was far too interested in his video game. Sighing deeply, she headed over to the external stairs. As she ascended the stairs, she watched as her wife and son drove off down the cobbled lane.

 

**~()~**

Pulling up to the curb, Emma glanced across the road to “Gino’s Italian Market” the name was a little misleading as it wasn’t actually a market but more of a grocery shop that had one wooden stand outside that sold ‘market goods’ but that didn’t concern Emma, this was the best grocery shop around to get just about everything she wanted. When they had lived in the Back Bay, Regina and her would frequently visit this family run shop.

As they crossed the busy road, Henry excitedly ran ahead toward the store. Emma finally caught up with her son inside the store. Henry had already grabbed a metal basket and was filling it with items he wanted. Taking the basket off her son, she rolled her eyes at the offending items.

After losing her son at the cannoli stand, Emma aimlessly made her way up and down the aisles until she reached the cashier’s till. Placing the full basket at her feet while waiting in line, Emma glanced over her shoulder in search and hope of her son.  Henry was leisurely making his way back through the aisle carrying his prized box of cannoli’s.  Shuffling forward a few steps, Emma noticed Henry quickening his step as he realised that his mother was next in line.

Turning back toward the cashier, Emma noticed someone she hadn’t seen in a very long time. It was one of her oldest friends, Merida McLachlan. The red haired woman stood by the entrance, her hands resting on her hips and the widest smile that anyone had ever seen.

“I thought that was you, Emma Swan.” Merida chuckled, moving closer to the blonde.

“Merida, what the hell?” Emma smiled.

The red haired woman strode closer with arms outstretched, drawing the blonde in for a hug. As she slapped Emma’s back a couple of times, she placed a chaste kiss on the blonde’s cheek before firmly planting her hands on the blonde’s shoulders.

“You haven’t changed one bit, lassie!” Merida smiled as he gaze drifted to the young boy who was standing next to her friend.

“Ma, who’s this?” Henry stage whispered as he handed his mother the box of cannoli’s.

“Kid, this is my old college friend Merida.” Emma glanced from her son back to her friend. “Merida, this is Henry, my son.”

Merida smiled. “Well hello Henry, it’s so nice to meet you.”

“You talk funny…” Henry mused.

Merida chuckled to herself as she ruffled his thick mop of brown hair. “I’m Scottish, wee Henry. Everyone talks funny there.”

 A soft grumble from the man behind Emma broke the reunion.  She glanced over her shoulder and apologised profusely as she picked up her basket and handed it to the cashier.

“I’m so sorry, Emma. Listen, have you got time for a coffee?” Merida asked as she helped pack the items in the brown paper bags.

The blonde nodded as she picked up her bag of shopping. “Yeah, I know a great little coffee shop, nearby.”

“Excellent.” Merida nodded.

A few minutes later the three of them exited the shop. Henry was walking ahead of them, already enjoying one of the cannoli’s while Merida and Emma chatted. Crossing the street and depositing the groceries at Emma’s car, they continued down the street and turned the corner before continuing up the street.

Reaching the coffee shop, Emma held the door open for her son and friend. Henry found them a table to sit at while Emma and Merida joined the end of queue. A few minutes later, they joined Henry at the table with drinks in hand.

“So how come you’re in Boston? Work?” Emma asked as she stirred the sugar into her coffee.

The red head licked the foam off her lips and placed the cappuccino down on the table.  “Well long story short. The company I work for transferred me here to run their Eastern Division for a while.  I literally arrived the day before yesterday.”

“Wow, that’s something. Where are you staying?” Emma said, sipping at her coffee.

“In a hotel, not far from here.  It’s only until I find a place of my own.”  Merida waved her hand in the general direction of the hotel. “I wondered if I would run into you. You still live around here, right?”

Emma shook her head “No, we’re in Brookline. It’s about twenty or so minutes away.”

Merida blushed slightly. “Sorry, I guess I should have kept up with the birthday and Christmas cards.”

Emma shook her head. “No, no I’m to blame as well. Once I had Henry everything else seemed to go out window. You know it’s a mom thing.”

Merida smiled. “I get it.” She took a hold of Emma’s hand. “It’s so good to see you, Ducky.”

“You too, Scotty.” Emma chuckled.

Merida rolled her eyes. “Still going with that nick name then?”

Emma chuckled as she took a sip of her coffee.

The two friends chatted for a little longer until Merida received a phone call from her direct line manager. She apologised to the blonde for having to cut their catch up short. The three of them exited the coffee shop together.

“Anyway, it’s been great. I’ve got your number now, so perhaps we can catch up again soon.” Merida said, wrapping her scarf around her neck and tucking the ends in under the collar of her long red pea coat.

“How about you come over for dinner soon? I know Regina would love to meet you.” Emma suggested.

Merida chuckled. “That would be lovely. But once I’ve settled in. I’d love to meet Regina as well. Bombard her with embarrassing college stories.”  

“Don’t you dare!” Emma pointed, warning the red head.

The red head waved away the warning. “Only kidding! I’ll be on my best behaviour. Promise. ” She winked. “ And wee Henry, it was lovely to meet you.” She smiled at the young boy. Glancing back to the blonde. “Emma, I’ll give you a ring and will organise something, okay?”

Emma nodded.

“Good. Take care and I’ll talk to you soon.” Merida waved goodbye as she started to walk in the direction of her hotel.

The blonde and her son walked off hand in hand in the opposite direction toward their car.

**~()~**

The brunette adjusted the collar of her long black woollen jacket before she pulled open the door with one hand and stepped out onto the sidewalk. The sudden contact with someone caused the bottle of whiskey she had just bought to slip from her gloved grasp and smash against the cobbled stone sidewalk. She awkwardly stumbled backwards.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry!” The thick Scottish accent called out.

Regina swept her shoulder length hair out of her face and glared at the perpetrator.

“You fool! Watch where you’re going.”  Her eyes rested on the apologetic red head standing before her.

Raising her hands defensively, Merida McLachlan apologised once again. “You’re not hurt are you?”

The brunette shook her head. No she wasn’t hurt but the same couldn’t be said for the smashed bottle of whiskey covering the cobbled sidewalk. Regina sighed deeply as she stepped over the broken glass and glanced back to the woman.

Merida glanced down at the smashed bottled and then back to the brunette. “Let me replace that. It’s the least I could do.” A sheepish smiled turned wide as she rested her hand on the brunette’s forearm.

Regina nodded subtly. “Thank you, that’s very nice of you.”

Merida nodded. “I won’t be a minute.” She pushed open the glass door to the liquor store and glanced one last time at the brunette, giving her another apologetic smile.

Minutes later the red-head returned with the replaced bottle of whiskey. Lifting it out of the brown paper bag and showing it to the brunette, she apologised one last time.

Thanking the red-head again, Regina stepped away and headed back in the direction of her studio when she was stopped by a hand resting on her bicep.

“You know, it’s not healthy to drink alone.” The red-head purred.

Regina cocked an eye-brow as she titled her chin and silently accepted the woman’s challenge.

“My hotel is not far.” The red-head glanced over her shoulder in the direction.

Regina nodded. “Lead the way then.”

**~()~**

Regina recognised the hotel as they approached it. It was the same hotel she had, many years ago, booked to stay in when she and Emma were first together. But instead, she ended up staying at Emma’s apartment.  That was such a happier time. Pursing her lips as she briefly thought about her blonde haired wife as she considered what she was about to do.

In her mind, all she was going to do was enter the hotel with this mysterious red-headed woman for a drink.  One drink, in the bar.  No harm, right?  Just a friendly drink with a complete stranger who had bought her a replacement bottle of whiskey. It certainly wasn’t a weird occurrence. Was it? Plenty of people did this, right? It certainly didn’t mean anything. Nothing was going to happen afterwards. She was married after all.  This wasn’t considered cheating, was it? No. Just a drink with a potential new friend. God knows she needed a friend at the moment. One drink, in the bar. She decided. Then she would return back to her studio and continue working.  There was no harm in having a friendly drink with someone. Was there?

Her eyes drifted to the bottle of whiskey in her handbag. Work was the reason why she had gone out in the first place to buy the whiskey.

She no longer had any ‘work’ to continue with.

Her mind cast back to the conversation she had with the client only an hour before meeting this mysterious red-head.

_“I’m sorry Regina. We’ve decided to go with someone else. It’s nothing personal…”_

_“Nothing personal! What the hell, Marcus?”_

_“We just feel it’s in our best interest.”_

_“Best interest? I’m putting together the finishing touches as we speak. Ready for the deadline on Monday.”_

_There was a loud sigh on the other end of the phone._

_“Regina. The deadline was two weeks ago.”_

_“No, No Marcus. It’s this Monday coming. The twenty-third.” Regina started flicking through her diary and quickly found her hand-written entry for the twenty-third._

_“Regina, it was originally but the deadline was brought forward by the editor. I did ‘cc’ you in the email I was sent by the editor.”_

_Regina turned her attention to her laptop and opened her emails. There were over a hundred unopened emails. She found the offending email sent by Marcus and opened it. Sighing deeply, it was there in black n’ white the new deadline email sent by the editor._

_Marcus continued to talk. “When we didn’t hear back from you with confirmation, the board decided to go with someone else. Out of professional and personal courtesy I sent you a follow up email explaining our decision.”_

_Regina didn’t say anything as she scrolled up the screen and found another email from Marcus. Opening it, she read it quickly._

_“Really Marcus? Unprofessional time management, behaviour and lack of commitment to the agreed contractual disclosure. What the fuck does that even mean?”_

_Marcus sighed deeply. “It basically means that the client, according to the agreed contract has the right to dissolve the agreement when certain clauses have been breached.”_

_“Because I’m two weeks late in submitting your proofs?”_

_“That and also the other incidents.”_

_“Other incidents?”_

_“You turned up late most days or not at all, Regina.  And when you did show your face, you were half-cut, stinking of alcohol. You would work for an hour or so before deciding that you’d had enough and just disappear out of sight. I begged with the board to keep you on as a personal favour based on your reputation in the photography world. I told em’ we would be losing out, if we lost you. Also because you are a friend, Regina.  But in the end they had no other choice.”_

_“How fucking noble of you, Marcus.” Regina spat._

_“Christ Regina, I did you a favour by getting you this job in the first place.  Nobody has heard of you anymore. Your name alone doesn’t carry much weight anymore. Don’t you get that? Once upon a time it may have but now it means fuck all. Your recent reputation surpasses your talents, Regina.”_

_Regina slumped in her chair. She closed her eyes tightly and started to rub her temple.  She knew that Marcus was right. “So what now?” She asked meekly._

_Marcus cleared his throat. “Well..” The awkwardness of the situation was becoming apparent. “The contract is void; you won’t receive payment for your time already.”_

_Regina sprung forward in the seat. “What the actual fuck, Marcus!  I have a family to feed, bills and my own expenses that need covering.”_

_“Regina it’s all in the conditions of the signed contract. I’m so sorry..” He trailed off._

_The brunette angrily flipped the lid of her phone close, not bothering to hear the rest of Marcus’s lame apology. Standing abruptly, she had one thing in mind now. Since she didn’t have any work to be getting on with, she decided to drink her sorrows away instead. Eying the empty bottle of whiskey on the work bench, she huffed to herself, grabbed her handbag and black woollen jacket before striding out of her studio in search of the closest liquor store._

“Come on then, brown eyes.” The red-head said, interrupting Regina’s reverie.

Regina shook her head and focused on the red-head. “Excuse me?”

Merida walked back down the concrete stairs and stood in front of the brunette. “Brown eyes. You haven’t told me your name yet.”

“Reg...”Regina paused and considered the red-head with the dashing smile in front of her. “No names. Brown eyes will do.”

Merida frowned as she pursed her lips together and weighted up the beautiful brunette before her. Something wasn’t quite right with the woman. She tried to put her finger on it as she looked deeply into the pair of brown eyes staring back at her.  She seemed so tortured. Perhaps by her own admission, she wasn’t sure. No, the brunette seemed so lost within herself.  Like there was a constant battle of conscience swirling deep inside her.  Finally nodding, Merida spoke. “Okay, no names. You can call me…” She thought about an appropriate name for a second. “Red. You can call me Red.”  She smiled.

“Red?” Regina breathed.

Merida shrugged. She knew it wasn’t very imaginative but it seemed appropriate. Merida held out her hand for the brunette to take. Regina considered the invitation before accepting. 

“I promised to have a drink with you.  You look like you need one. And I could do with the company, if I’m being honest. Stranger in a new city and all.  It is what it is.”

Regina nodded as she allowed the red-head to lead her inside the hotel.

As one drink led to two and then followed closely with three and four both women now finally felt comfortable with each other. The lull in the conversation had swayed from small talk and it seemed appropriate to indulge deeper and talk about themselves. Or so Merida thought.

“So brown eyes, tell me a little more about you.” The red-head husked. “We’ve made polite small talk about Boston, Scotland, the weather. Touched on politics and briefly spoke about religion.  But what I am interested in, is you.” Her hand hovered dangerously close to the brunette’s. 

Regina sobered instantly. She hadn’t wanted the conversation to become this deep. Licking her lips nervously, she glanced away and recoiled her hand as far as she could from the red-head.

“No personal information..” Regina murmured.

The red-head studied the brunette for a minute. “Another rule, huh?”

Regina turned back to the red-head and nodded slowly. “It complicates the matter further.”

“Complicates what? We’re just two strangers having a drink and getting to know one another.” Merida asked.

“Whatever this is going to be…”  Regina shrugged.

“So this..” Merida waved her hand between them. “Is going somewhere then?”

Regina silently slipped off the bar stool, straightened her deep purple blouse and slung her handbag over her shoulder, turning to gather up her long woollen coat she then looked expectedly to the red-head.

“What room number are you?”

Merida gathered up her long pea coat. “Ahh four fifteen…”

Regina nodded. “Go to your room and if I’m there in ten minutes…” She paused slightly. “Then you’ll know it’s going somewhere.” She continued as she walked off confidently toward the bar toilets.

Merida watched as the brunette disappeared into the toilets. She didn’t know what to think really. The brunette she had just spent the last hour with was a conundrum, admittedly the most stunning conundrum she had ever had pleasure of spending time with, but still a conundrum all the same. Her eyes mirrored a tortured lost soul but her words and actions seemed so definite of one thing she wanted. An escape from whatever was haunting her soul.

Glancing back to the toilets, Merida wandered if she would be stood up. It was a possibility. The brunette was probably in there talking herself out of the situation that they found themselves in.  Merida sighed deeply as she walked quickly out the bar and toward the elevators.

Regina dropped her handbag down on the counter by the sink. She looked at herself in the mirror and then to the bag, she opened it and pulled out the bottle of whiskey. Unscrewing the lid, she brought the bottle to her lips and took a large swig of the amber liquid. Smacking her lips hard, she placed the bottle on the counter and started to pace the small toilet area.  Standing back in front of the bottle of whiskey, she took another swig and that’s when she noticed her wedding ring.  Lowering the bottle back to the counter, she looked to her left hand. The gold band glistened under the bright lights of the toilet. She slowly slipped it off and held it in her palm as her eyes drifted back to her reflection in the mirror.

_No personal information, no names, nothing to tie you to your life Regina._

Closing her palm over her ring, she clutched it tightly for a second before picking up the bottle with her other hand and having one last swig of the whiskey.

She dropped her wedding ring into the inside pocket of her handbag and screwed the lid of the whiskey tight and tucked it safely inside her handbag.  Pulling out her small makeup bag, she emptied the contents into the sink and started rummaging around the items. Picking out what she needed.

When she finished, she almost didn’t recognise the face staring back at her. It had been so long since she had actually worn makeup. She tried to think back to the last time, but she couldn’t. Feeling like a new woman, she ruffled her shoulder length hair and flicked the ends over her shoulders before silently leaving the toilets and making her way back through the bar to the elevators.

Exiting the elevator, Regina followed the small walled signs toward her destination. As she got closer, she nervously started to lick her lips and unconsciously went to swivel her wedding ring around her finger when she remembered that she had removed her ring previously in the toilets downstairs.

Standing stiffly before room four fifteen, Regina rolled her neck from side to side and sighed deeply. She was really about to do this. No conscious concern about what this could possible mean for her marriage or even for herself really. This wasn’t about emotion, this, what stood beyond that door was purely a physical response that she needed. A means to escape the tormented devil that was slowly breaking her down inch by inch every god damn day.

Raising her hand, she knocked gently across the door and lowered it quickly. Moments later the door slowly opened and the red-head with the dashing smile appeared holding two empty whiskey tumblers.  The brunette silently entered and closed the door behind her.

**~()~**

Emma slowly opened her eyes; they drift to the alarm clock on the bedside table and registered the time before she turned over towards the empty side of their king size bed. The crisp white sheets cold and undisturbed. Sighing deeply, the blonde’s hand reached out for the space where her wife should be.

Even though there had been a lingering and somewhat distant tension between the two of late, there was still evidence of potential love in their hearts when each day came to an end and they would share a bed every night.  More or less they may be living separate lives during the day but by nightfall they were always whole again. This subconscious routine seemed to work for both of them.

But Regina hadn’t returned home last night.

A moment of panic etched over the blonde’s face before she convinced herself that they most logical answer for her wife’s whereabouts was that she had obviously immersed herself in her work and hadn’t realised the time.  Emma knew that Regina’s deadline for her current job was tomorrow.

Convincing herself that the empty side of the bed meant nothing for their wavering marriage, she pulled back the covers and slipped out of the bed and padded around the room, gathering up the dirty washing from the hamper.  Quietly she stepped out her room and passed Henry’s room, popping her head inside to study her sleeping son. His gentle snoring echoed around the room. Smiling to herself and quietly pulling the door too, she continued down the stairs. Padding softly against the wooden flooring she headed toward the utility room to discard the dirty washing. Continuing to the kitchen, she casually flicked the on switch of the coffee machine and pottered around the kitchen.

Noticing the flashing LED light from her mobile; she hoped that it was a message from her wife letting her know of her whereabouts. Instead there were two new messages. Opening the first, it was from Ruby asking how she was and giving her the date of the get together with the guys. The other was from Merida mentioning about how great it was to see her again yesterday and suggesting that they should get together in a month for dinner. Typing out a quick reply, Emma gave a date that she knew that she would be free.  The reply came back almost instantly.

Emma rolled her eyes as she read the message.

**_Sounds great Ducky.  One night stand just left. Fine piece of arse. X_ **

Emma contemplated a reply but decided against it. It seemed that Merida McLachlan hadn’t changed much from college. No wonder she was still single after all these years. 

The click of the coffee machine broke Emma from her reverie.  Picking out her favourite mug, she poured herself a fresh brew before quietly padding into the lounge and flicking the tv on. It was quite rare occasion that she could take advantage of having the tv to herself now. Especially with a seven year old who would monopolize his time in front of it.  Settling down on the sofa, she enjoyed the Sunday morning cartoons in peace.  It was funny to think that off all the programs on offer, she would choose cartoons.

About half an hour later, Emma heard the jangling of Regina’s keys as the front door opened and closed softly short after. Regina’s heels clicked against the wooden flooring and headed toward the kitchen. Emma heard the brunette toss her keys onto the kitchen counter top and the click of the coffee machine coming to life.  Turning her head toward the kitchen, she heard the brunette pacing and sighing loudly.

“Henry, can you turn the volume down. You’ll wake your mother.” Regina called out.

“It’s me actually.” Emma called out a moment later as she got up from the sofa and headed toward the kitchen.

Emma appeared in the kitchen as Regina turned around stunned by the answer. The brunette was hoping that she could at least have a shower and got herself cleaned up before seeing the blonde today.  Moving closer and studying the brunette’s dishevelled appearance, Emma noted the smudged massacre and lipstick.  Piquing the blonde’s curiosity of her wife’s whereabouts, she silently placed her mug beside the brunette’s.

“Late night?” Emma quipped.

“You could say that.” Regina turned, averting the blonde’s gaze.  She occupied herself with the coffee machine.

“Did you go out?” Emma asked, crossing her arms over her chest.

Nothing was getting past the blonde today.

Regina sighed loudly before slowly nodding. “I met with the client to discuss a few things.”

“In a bar, I’m guessing…” Emma wrinkled her nose. “You stink of alcohol, Regina.”

Regina pursed her lips together tightly before she spoke. “For fucks sake, Emma! Yes. I went to a bar. Where I had a few drinks. I didn’t realise it was such a crime to do so.” She glared at the blonde.

Emma was gobsmacked; she wasn’t expecting that reaction from the brunette. Raising her hands in defence she meekly retreated back a few steps. Regina realised what she had done, knowing that covering her guilty conscious with snappy remarks wouldn’t help the situation.

The brunette sighed loudly. “I’m sorry for snapping.”

Emma remained silent.

Regina tried again. “Em, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be taking my anger out on you. I met with Marcus, discussed a few things.” She paused slightly. “For all the good it did…”

“What do you mean?” Emma eventually asked. She wasn’t accepting Regina’s apology just yet.

Regina poured coffee into the mugs before sliding Emma’s towards her.

The brunette sighed deeply and slumped against the opposite counter. “It doesn’t matter…” She trailed off and lowered her head.

Emma placed her mug back down and approached the brunette. “No Gina, what’s going on?”

The brunette lifted her head. Emma hadn’t called her ‘Gina’ in a long time. Tears started to well in the brunette’s eyes as she slowly slid down the counter and curled up tightly on the floor. Her knees pressed tightly against her chest as she started to sob into her folded arms.

Emma crouched down in front of the brunette and tried her best to hold her crying wife. But Regina was reluctant to let the blonde near her.

“I’m so sorry, Em. I don’t know what happened. It just..” A muffled reply escaped from the brunette.

“Shhh..baby..it’s okay..What happened?” Emma cooed as she managed to get the brunette to release her grip on herself and accept her instead. Eventually Regina’s arms wrapped around the blonde’s waist, she was now practically sitting in Emma’s lap.

“I fucked up, Emma.  Everything, my career, our..” Regina trailed off.  She was so close to revealing that she had been unfaithful last night but stopped short of revealing this admission. “I fucked up, Emma!” She sobbed.

 Emma remained silent as she held the brunette close to her chest.

**~()~**

 

For the last fifteen minutes Emma had been raking her fingers through the brunette’s hair as she digested the conversation Regina regaled about her conversation with Marcus.   The blonde’s eyes focused on the muted television in front of her.

Eventually the blonde’s gaze drifted to the brunette’s head in her lap. She realised that Regina had now stopped sobbing and was staring blankly at the fireplace below the television.

“I had lunch with Ruby on Friday; she was telling me about a ‘Fast-Track Detective Degree’ it sounds interesting but I don’t know. Bails bond would be more convenient…” Emma trailed off.

Regina tilted her head and glanced up at the blonde. “I didn’t know you wanted to go back to work?”

Emma shrugged. “I had thought about it. But hadn’t decided upon anything.  It was only going to be part time, so I could still be here for Henry before and after school. Work when I wanted and bring in a little more income but..”

“Now that I don’t have a steady income.” Regina murmured.

Emma remained silent.

“Do you receive a salary whilst you’re learning? Regina asked.

Emma nodded. “Yes, it’s a basic force salary with an enhancement achievable at the end of the degree.”

“I think you should go for it, Em. I can be the stay at home mom now.” Regina said, turning back to look at the spot on the wall in front of her.

Emma glanced down. “Are you sure?”

Regina nodded as she sat up and shuffled next to the blonde, she took a hold of the blonde’s right hand. “Yes. You’ve supported me no end all these years when I was working constantly.”

The blonde nodded.

As they sat together on the sofa and continued to chat lightly, the realisation that this was something they hadn’t done in a long time dawned on them both. It was nice, easy and perhaps something that they both needed. The last few months had been very testing for their relationship and marriage but it seemed they were finally coming together again on the same page. Emma mentioned running into her old college friend and that they had organised to have Merida over for dinner once she was settled in Boston. The blonde also mentioned in passing that Ruby had invited her to come out for drinks with the ‘guys’ in a couple of weeks.

Regina was glad that Emma seemed to be re-connecting with her friends again.

**~()~**

“…So I told him, he had two options...”Killian smirked. “Both involved me hauling his arse down to the station.” He laughed wholeheartedly, clinking his pint glass against Neil’s.

The small group of friends laughed and copied Killian’s actions.

“Another round?” Neil asked as he pointed to the five other members of the small group.

A lively cheer erupted once again as Neil backed away from the group and headed toward the bar. Emma wiped the residual beer from her top lip and followed Neil to the bar. 

“I’ll get this one.” The blonde said, siding up next to Neil.

Neil nodded. “Ruby mentioned that you had enrolled in the FTDD, do you know where you’ll be stationed yet?”

The blonde nodded “With Ruby and August.”

Neil smiled. “That’s great! It shouldn’t be too daunting then.”

The blonde nodded. “No. It works out in my favour really.” She tried to get the barman’s attention.

Neil nodded. “Well I for one am happy that you’re coming back into the force. I know you’ll pass the degree with flying colours. If you need a mentor, Swan.”

Emma smiled politely. “Thanks Neil…any help I can get, would be appreciated.”

“Swan, if its help you’re after then look no further…” Killian cocked an eyebrow as he squeezed in between the two, effective pushing Neil out of the way in the process.

 Emma rolled her eyes dramatically.  “I’m not a damsel in distress…”

Killian smirked. “Oh I know Swan..” Giving a high pitched whistle to the barman, he winked at Emma before stepping away, letting Emma deal with the drinks order.

Rejoining the group with the next round of drinks, Emma casually slipped into the conversation Graham and August were having. The blonde was amazed at the fact that she felt totally at home amongst her friends and ex-colleagues.  Although she hadn’t seen most of them for ten years, it was as if no time had passed. Like they had naturally picked up where they had left off last time. For Emma that was true friendship.

Hearing her name being brought up by Ruby, she glanced over and looked at the brunette quizzically.  The brunette made her way to Emma and casually draped her arm over the blonde’s shoulders. “Partners in crime reunited, hey Swan?”

Emma chuckled softly. “Indeed, Rubes.”

“I’ll be watching you too.” August feigned a glare.

Ruby rolled her eyes as she dragged Emma away to an empty booth for some privacy. Placing her pint of beer on the table, Ruby made herself comfortable on the padded bench seat. 

“To be honest I was surprised to get your call. I thought you decided to get back into bailbonds?” Ruby gaze fell from the crowded pub back to the blonde who was sitting opposite her.

Emma’s lips pursed slightly as she lowered her gaze and let it fall upon her drink. “Things happened, Rubes. In the long run this was the better option.”

Ruby nodded. “Regina?”

The blonde sighed deeply. “Her professional career is as good as over. I had to choose what was best for our family.”

“And how’s things between you two?”

Emma shrugged. “At times it feels like she’s distancing herself from Henry and I. But then she can be really overly loving. Like she’s compensating for something.” Emma shook her head.

“Perhaps it’s guilt?” Ruby suggested.

“It makes sense, I guess.” Emma shrugged.

“Listen chin up, Swanny. Everything will work out. Regina is just feeling shitty at the moment. You know, letting herself and you down. She’ll bounce back.” Ruby smiled.  “Anyway enough about that let’s get the drinks in and forget about our worries!”  She clinked her glass against Emma’s.

**~()~**

Emma wrapped her arms around her torso as she stood in line waiting for a taxi.  She had just said goodbye to her friends, who had decided to pile into one taxi. All except Killian who happen to live in the same direction as her.  Feeling the cold, she silently wished that she’d worn her warmer jacket instead of her old trusty red leather jacket. Suddenly she felt heavy material being draped over her shoulders. Glancing over her shoulder, Killian winked and offered a smile.

“You were shivering..”

Emma smiled. “Thank you Killian.”

Killian nodded, shuffling closer to stand next to his friend. “I’m glad you came tonight, Swan.”

Emma glanced to him. “I’m glad I came as well. I had a great time.”

Killian smiled again. “Good. I know we all have grown apart over the years but still it was good to catch up with the ol’ gang again. You know what I mean?”

Emma studied her tall dark-haired friend next to her. When he dropped the bravado, Killian was actually kind of sweet, sentimental and dare she say it a decent friend who she knew would have her back when it came down to it. It’s a shame he would hide this part of him behind the ‘player’ image he like to portray most of the time.

Emma nodded. “Yeah, I do. I feel…” Emma paused. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to reveal how she was really feeling.  Killian and her had never really had a deep meaningful conversation. Ever. Their conversations had always revolved around women in general.  It was their comfortable common ground.  But perhaps it was the alcohol in her system that relinquished her self-enforced walls and allowed her to express herself so freely. “Like even though it’s been years since I’ve seen most of you guys. It feels as though no time as passed at all.”

“Sort of pick up where we left the last time.” Killian offered.

Emma nodded. “Yeah, exactly.  I had a great time and It was nice to kind of forget my responsibilities at home for one night. She shrugged.

Killian nodded. “Speaking of, how’s the wife and son?

Even though she may be drunk, she was still sober enough not to open herself completely up about how she was really feeling.  “They’re both fine..”

Emma was glad of the approaching taxi. It was a welcomed distraction to where this conversation could potentially be heading. She shuffled forward, abruptly stopping at the curb as the taxi pulled up. Killian quickly followed and held the door open as the blonde quickly got in, sliding over the seat to the furthest side of the taxi. 

As they travelled through the streets of Boston, the conversation quickly changed from deep and meaningful to the more comfortable banter that they were both accustomed to. They both realised that moment had passed and they had tested those waters enough for one night. The taxi eventually pulled up outside Emma’s house.

Glancing over at the meter, she started to rummage through her jacket pockets for some money and eventually pulled out a twenty dollar note and handed it to Killian who shook his head.

“No, seriously Killian let me pay half..” Emma murmured.

Shaking his head again, he handed back the money. “Swan, save it. You can buy me a drink sometime.”

Emma scoffed. “Someone is confident.”

Killian smirked. “Aye love. You wouldn’t have it any other way…”

Emma rolled her eyes. She knew it was too good to be true. Killian “The Player” Jones was back. “Night Killian.” She pushed open the door and quickly ascended toward her front door. As she opened the door, she turned and waved to her friend before quickly disappearing inside.

**And that was the moment when Emma and Killian connected for the first time.**

 

**~()~**

Emma closed the front door, dropping her keys on the sideboard as she padded down the hallway toward the stairs.  She had just dropped off Henry at his best friend’s house for a sleepover. Stopping at the stairs, she called out for her wife. There was no answer. She quickly ascended up the stairs, stopping half way. She could hear the shower running in their ensuite. Regina was obviously in the shower. Descending back down the stairs, she quickly passed through the kitchen and went into the lounge, tidying up as she went along.

Her college friend, Merida McLachlan was due for dinner any time soon.

Pottering around the lounge, she heard her wife as she descended down the stairs.  Emma made her way back to the kitchen. Stopping suddenly as her wife twirled on the spot and smiled.  

“You got all dressed up..” Emma mused to her wife.

Regina shrugged. “Well I am meeting your oldest friend, Emma. I had to make an impression.”

Emma chuckled. “Knowning Merida, she wouldn’t care if we were in our pyjamas.”

Regina shook her head and rolled her eyes. “Still. I’m meeting her for the first time.”

“Indeed you are. You’re going to love her, sweetheart.” Emma said, stepping closer to her wife, giving her a peck on the lips. “I’m going to get showered and dressed. Merida should be here in soon.” Emma brushed past the brunette and quickly ascended up the stairs to the shower.

About half an hour later, there was a knock at their front door. Merida had arrived.

Regina had been busying herself in the kitchen, when she heard the knock. She was going to answer it but she heard Emma quickly descend down the stairs and call out that she would get the door. Regina listened to Emma greet their guest at the front door before they disappeared into the lounge.

It was time to finally meet Emma’s oldest friend. Merida McLachlan.

Regina glanced up from the chopping board and placed the knife she’d been using down on the countertop.  Wiping her hands over the black and white tea towel, she slung it over her shoulder and walked out of the kitchen to meet their guest.  She could hear Emma and her friend chatting in the lounge. Straightening her clothes as she walked the short distance to the lounge, Regina momentarily stopped just before doorway. Taking a deep breath and plastering the best smile she could muster on her face, she entered the lounge where the two women were quite animatedly chatting and laughing.

And then that’s when she saw the woman who for the last month she’d been occasionally fucking in her studio. Two sets of eyes turned to face Regina who by her own admission knew she was turning a whiter shade of pale. Her infamous ‘Politian smile’ as Emma would call it fading quickly as she let her mouth hang open quite comically before she snapped it shut and pursed her lips tightly together, trying in vain to recover from the shock of seeing the woman who she dubbed as “Red” standing in her lounge room with her wife, Emma.

“Sweetheart, this is Merida.” Emma introduced.

Regina glanced at her wife and then let her eyes draw back upon Merida. With a tight and well-guarded smile she moved closer and stuck out her hand for the red-head to shake.

“Regina..” she said as Merida took her hand and shook it quickly.

Regina could see that Merida was trying hard to mask their false introduction as much as she could. Regina realised very quickly that this evening was going to be pure torture for not only herself but for the red-head who stood opposite her. Letting her hand drop, Regina quickly made an excuse to leave the two friends and get back to the dinner she was preparing for the three of them.

Regina’s hand clasped the small filleting knife tightly as she stood at the kitchen island. Her head bowed in disgrace as realisation hit her that Emma would, if not already realised that both Merida and Regina already knew each other. Puffing her cheeks out, she blew the air she’d just sucked in a few times as her eyes trained themselves on her shaking hands. She needed a drink. Tossing the knife to the counter top she swung around and grabbed her glass of wine. Red. How ironic Regina scoffed to herself as her eyes quickly glanced to the red-head who was standing just inside the kitchen. Her hands clasped together as she waited for an explanation from the brunette.

Regina brought the glass of wine to her lips and gulped down the contents quickly before smacking her lips hard together.

“Regina, what’s going on?” Merida whispered harshly as she glanced over her shoulder making sure that Emma couldn’t hear her.

Regina moved closer to the woman and looked over the red-heads shoulder down the corridor.

“Obviously I’m fucking my wife’s oldest friend.” Regina answered with an equally harsh whisper.

Merida took a step back from the brunette when she heard Emma walking down the corridor towards the kitchen. The blonde entered the kitchen and curiously looked at the two women, who it seemed were having a staring competition. The atmosphere within the kitchen could have been cut with a knife. Regina shook her head comically before placing her empty glass on the counter. She retrieved two more wine glasses from the glass fronted cabinet and placed them down beside hers. She reached over for the bottle of red and quickly poured out the liquid, filling each glass just a little bit too much. She realised in that moment, that she would definitely be drunk before the nights end.

“A drink!” Regina mused, handing Emma and Merida their glasses.

Emma frowned slightly as she studied her wife momentarily. Regina was acting a little strange but she quickly denounced the behaviour to nerves. Smiling widely, she lifted her glass to clink against her wife’s and Merida’s.

“To old friends.” Emma smiled.

“To old friends..” Merida and Regina murmured after the blonde.

Regina resumed her position in front of the chopping board and continued to busy herself with preparing dinner. After a moment, she glanced toward Emma and Merida.

“Dinner should be ready in about ten to fifteen minutes.”

Emma and Merida nodded in unison before the blonde suggested that she give her friend a quick tour of the house while they wait.

As soon as Regina was alone in the kitchen again, she slumped against the counter and sighed deeply before she quietly berated herself.

“You fucking stupid idiot!” She said over and over to herself.

Picking up her glass of wine, she gulped the contents quickly as she nervously paced around the kitchen. It wasn’t long before she heard Emma and Merida return down stairs and head into the lounge. Blowing out a deep breath to steady her nerves, Regina quickly finished preparing dinner before purposely occupying herself in the kitchen to avoid another encounter with the red head.

She needed the dinner to go smoothly, no awkward questions from anyone. Especially not Merida McLachlan who she knew was itching to ask her ‘What the fuck was going on?’  Hopefully Emma hadn’t picked up on her behaviour or if she had, put it down to nerves. She could rationalize that; after all, she had mentioned that she wanted to make a good impression on the red head. 

Fifteen minutes later, Regina was busily plating the dinner together; she had assumed that Emma and Merida had now situated themselves at the dining room table.   Expertly she balanced the plates in her arms as she made her way to the dining room. A room that in all the years that they had lived in this house had hardly ever been used.

Entering the dining room, Emma and Merida were sitting opposite one another at the table busily chatting away. It was Merida that noticed the brunette enter. She immediately stopped talking as her gaze followed the brunette. Regina silently placed the plates down and excused herself again. She made her way back to the kitchen and stopped in front of the near empty bottle of wine. She’d lost count how many glasses she had already had, but having seen Emma and Merida in the dining room had sparked the want for another quick drink. Pouring herself a small glass, she gulped it down in one. Slumping back against the counter, she rubbed her hand over her mouth as her thoughts centred on how she could make this dinner over and done with quickly.  

As she picked up the other bottle of wine that Emma had bought earlier that day, she scoffed to herself not to be so ridiculous and grow a pair and get herself back in there and deal with the situation.  Regina grabbed the corkscrew off the kitchen island as she headed back to the dining room.

**~()~**

With dinner over now, Regina sighed triumphal to herself as she stacked the plates and cutlery in the sink. Emma and Merida were now back in the lounge chatting lightly about their past. Over dinner, the red head had only regaled Regina with one story of Emma back in college. 

Overall it hadn’t been as torturous as she thought it could be to have your wife and lover in the same room. Was Merida her lover? No she was just a stupid fling.  A stupid fucking mistake she made when she accepted the devil’s invitation to sit at her table.  Rationalizing Merida’s position in her mind, Regina concluded that the red head meant nothing to her.  Each encounter over the last month was purely a physical one. She had absolutely no emotional connection with the red head.

It was Emma lightly touching her back that broke Regina from her reverie.

“Gina, Merida is leaving now.”

Regina turned and nodded slowly as her infamous smile crept over her face. 

“It was so nice to finally meet you, Merida.” Regina smiled widely as she brushed past her wife and embraced the red head stiffly.

“You too, Regina.” Merida falsely smiled back as she lowered her eyes and glanced to her friend.

Emma glanced to her wife as she led her friend out the kitchen and toward the front door.

Pinching the bridge of her nose, Regina let out a breath of relief. She’d done it. Made it through the night with absolutely no incident or suspicion from Emma.  Emma returned from seeing Merida out and studied her wife for a moment.

“See I told you. She loves you.” Emma said, leaning against the doorframe. “There was no need to be nervous.”

Regina pursed her lips tightly, not saying a word.

“Leave the washing; I’ll do it before I go to work tomorrow.” Emma nodded in the direction of the stacked plates.

“No it’s alright, I’ll do it quickly now. Won’t take long.” Regina murmured.

“As long as you’re sure?” Emma paused slightly. “I’m going to go up to bed. Don’t be long, darling.”

“Okay…” Regina murmured as she watched Emma disappear out of the kitchen and head upstairs.

Turning to the washing up, she sighed deeply before running the taps and quickly washing the plates up.

It was about twenty minutes later, Regina found herself sitting on the edge of the decking, clutching the half emptied bottle of wine in her hands.  The glass long forgotten as the events and revelations of tonight whirled around in her head.  She brought the bottle to her lips, gulped down a fair amount of wine before letting rest between her clasped hands. Her gaze directed to the darkness of the back garden.  What the fuck had she done?

**And that was the moment Regina regretted the most.**


	10. Chapter Ten

**MOMENTS OF THE HEART**

**CHAPTER TEN**

Since “that dinner” on Wednesday night with Emma and Merida McLachlan, the last forty-eight hours had been a blur for Regina.  She knew that Emma had indeed started her fast-track detective’s course and at some point in that time regaled her about how she was finding it so far. Not that she remembered much of the conversation. Though, she did remember that Emma had been nervous at first but she seemed to quickly adapt to the situation. As for her son, she faintly remembered taking and picking him up from school. Also packing his lunch and cooking him dinner at some point.

But apart from that, she couldn’t really remember what else she had achieved in the last forty-eight hours.  She felt like she was on auto-pilot, just going through the motions, adjusting her direction every so often to remain on course. But for what? She wasn’t entirely sure.

Opening her eyes and focusing on the environment around her, she quickly realised she was in her studio. But how did she get here and why was she here?

That bit was a little fuzzy.

As she sat up from the old brown leather sofa she picked up her mobile from the coffee table and glanced at the time.

“Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!”

It was fast approaching midday and Henry needed to get to school. Stumbling as she stood, her foot knocked the empty bottle of whiskey. Her gaze fell upon the bottle rolling around in a circle on the floor as she vaguely remembered when she opened the bottle. It was definitely yesterday morning after she dropped Henry at school. Did she pick him up as well? She couldn’t recall. She must have, she thought.

Grabbing her woollen jacket, handbag and keys, she slipped on her heeled boots and swung the door to her studio open.  The cold morning air hit her like a tonne of bricks as she slammed the door shut behind her. That’s when she noticed that her car, the soccer mom van as Emma called it wasn’t there. How did she get here?  She must have caught a taxi. Sighing deeply to herself, she flipped open her phone to call a taxi when she noticed the date on the home screen.

It was Saturday.

Groaning to herself, she silently thanked god she hadn’t messed up again.  Henry would be at home with his other mother probably sitting in front of the television watching his favourite cartoon program.

Now she had a choice. To go home or stay here?

Knowing if she went home, it would most certainly mean she would be bombarded with insentient questions about her whereabouts from Emma. To go home also meant that she would need to face the source of her guilt. The blonde with green eyes.

But if she stayed here, at her studio, she wouldn’t need to face anything. Nor would she be bothered by anyone.

Stepping off the last stair, she ran her fingers through her disheveled hair as she tried to make sense of everything. She paced in a tight circle as she considered what to do. But her thoughts were a jumbled mass of confusion. Nothing seemed to make sense when she was sober.

She knew what she needed first to make sense of everything.

A drink.

And this had been the crux of her survival since Wednesday night. Everything made sense when she was intoxicated.  

**~()~**

 

Discarding her jacket and handbag on the old brown leather sofa, Regina’s trembling hand quickly unscrewed the lid of the newly purchased bottle of whiskey as she threw her head back, gulping greedily down a mouthful of the liquid.

Smacking her lips together afterwards, she now had some perspective. She was going to stay here, get her affairs and business in some sort of order.  Well to be honest, this was a worthy distraction from the revelations of Wednesday night spent with her wife and lover.

Backing out her dark room, Regina closed the door and turned around to find Merida McLachlan standing in the middle of her studio. In shock, Regina dropped the small pile of developed photographs.

Merida initially watched Regina fumbling to pick them up before she generously gathered up a few that were out of the brunette’s grasp. Silently she handed them to the brunette who brushed past her and headed towards the long wooden table.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were married?” Merida said, following the brunette and stopping a few feet away from her.

Regina sighed to herself as she bent over the table and arranged the photos in chronological order.

“Regina?” The red head urged.

Regina straightened up and planted her hands firmly on the table. Her eyes drifted to the whitewashed brick wall in front of her before she turned to glare at the red head.

“Because we decided no names, no personal information to confuse the matter further. Remember?”

Merida stayed silent, she remembered the conditions of the ‘situation’ she’d found herself in with the brunette. And in all honesty up to three days ago, all she knew about the brunette was that she was professional photographer. Because that is all Regina had allowed Merida to know about her.

But now, three days later, what she knew was that this brunette was the wife of one her oldest friends. And that complicated the matter even more.

Merida walked closer to the table and glanced down at the photos. All of them were portraits. Different people that had captured the brunette’s attention in some way. As her eyes scanned the photographs, she wondered if there were any photos of her blonde friend. There wasn’t.

“This needs to end..” Merida murmured, glancing to the brunette.

Regina was standing at the other end of the table silently observing the red-head before she calmly picked up the bottle of whiskey she had earlier bought. Unscrewing the lid, she let it drop to the floor as she looked to the bottle. Bringing it to her mouth, she let the liquid pass her lips. Swallowing a small amount, she gasped as it seemingly burnt her throat as it travelled down to her stomach. This was a first. Glancing back to the red head. “Does Emma know?”

Merida’s head dipped slightly as her eyes avertedly left the brunette. “It’s not my place to say anything, Regina.” 

Scoffing to herself, Regina took another swig of the whiskey. The alcohol she’d just swallowed topped off and hit the mark. She had reached the drunken high she had been achieving for the last three days. And in that moment, she possibly made the worse decision of her life.

“Well if that’s the case then how about one for the road?” Regina gave a seductive wink.

Merida brows furrowed deeply as she tried to make sense of this whole situation.

“I don’t think that will fix the mess we have found ourselves in, Regina.”

Regina scoffed again. “Perhaps not, but it will give me something to remember you by…”

Merida gasped loudly. “I don’t get you, Regina! You’re willing to ruin your marriage for what? A fling? You and I both know that we can’t continue this…” She waved her hand between the two of them. “I feel so sorry for Emma.” She slowly shook her head in despair.

Regina glared at the red head. “Don’t you dare! You know nothing about our life, our marriage.”

Merida sighed deeply. “No you’re right, I don’t. But now that I am involved in this mess, I am having nothing further to do with it.” She turned slowly, picking up her handbag from the sofa before silently leaving the studio.

**~()~**

“Perhaps there’s a table at the back?” Emma shrugged, pushing her way through the crowd. She glanced over her shoulder toward Merida who was following closely behind her.

 They weaved their way through the crowd until they finally were at the back of the club.  There were no tables available except for a narrow ledge where they could rest their drinks upon.  Placing her pint of beer down, she smiled hopefully to her friend.

It had been about a month since she had last seen Merida.  In that time, they hadn’t really kept in touch with each other. Emma had been busy with work and her degree while Merida (using the same excuse) purposely distanced herself from the blonde. Ever since the dinner a month ago, she had been guilt ridden by the revelations of her having a fling with her friend’s wife. 

Even now, after a month it was hard for Merida to even look at her blonde friend without feeling absolutely disgusted with herself. 

“So what’s been happening, Scotty?” Emma asked, taking a sip of her beer.

Merida shrugged as she looked away from the blonde. “Oh you know..work..”

Emma frowned slightly; something was off with her red headed friend. “Okay, that’s rather vague…”

Merida gave a tight smile as she looked back to the blonde. “Not much to say, really.”

Emma studied the red head for a minute before she spoke. “What’s going on, Merida? It’s like you don’t really want to be here.”

The red shook her head animatedly. “It’s not that. I do, honestly. It’s just..” She paused slightly, distracting herself with a sip of her beer. “It’s just…” she stumbled over her words.

“Ahhh I see what’s going on, you prefer the company of someone else…” Emma bumped Merida’s hip playfully. “Perhaps that fine piece of arse?” Emma chuckled loudly, shaking her head and taking another sip of her beer.”

Merida sheepishly lowered her eyes and looked away from the blonde.

Emma frowned slightly. “I was only joking, Scotty.”

“I know...” Merida paused as she weighed up if this was the moment she should confess all or not. “How’s things with Regina?”  Even saying the brunette’s name brought a small amount of bile to rise in her throat.

Emma placed her pint down on the ledge and shrugged. “Okay I guess...”

“You guess?”

“We haven’t seen much of each other over the last month. I’ve been busy with work and when I’m at home I only see her fleetingly…” Emma paused. “Why the sudden interest?”

Merida clenched her fists together as she pursed her lips together. Obviously Regina hadn’t confessed to the blonde about their affair.  She blew out a deep breath as she glanced away before looking back to her friend. She couldn’t handle the guilt any longer; she needed to get it off her chest.  “I have something to tell you, Emma.”

The blonde looked at the red head curiously. “Okay…”

“Ahh, well..you know..” Merida was stumbling over her words as her nerves took a hold of her.

“Merida, just tell me…”

The red head nodded a few times. “Regina has been unfaithful to you, Emma.”

“What?” Emma scoffed. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “How do you know?”

Merida took a deep gulp, looked away quickly before looking back to the blonde. “Because she was the fine piece of arse...” She lowered her eyes in disgrace. “I’m so sorry.”

Emma’s eyes widen in shock. She couldn’t believe what Merida was saying. “Excuse me?”

Merida placed her hand on the blonde’s shoulders only for it to be shrugged away. Raising her hands and recoiling them back to her side, she finally spoke. “I had a fling… an affair with Regina. For about a month. It’s over now! I promise you that. As soon as I found out she was married to you, I ended it.”

“You what?!? Regina and you had an affair. But it’s over now.” Emma shook her head trying to make sense of what she had just been told.

The red head nodded several times. “Listen Emma, I’m so sorry.  I happened to run in to Regina the same day as I bumped into you at the grocery store. It started then. But I didn’t know she was married to you then.” Merida urged. “She didn’t even tell me her name. That was one of her conditions...” Merida trailed off.

Emma was trying to keep up. “Conditions?”

“She said no names. No personal information.”

Emma shook her head and blinked a few times. Then it dawned on her. “So when I introduced you two at the dinner…” She paused slightly. “You already knew each other?”

Merida nodded. “I confronted her in the kitchen.”

“But you said it’s over now.”

“Yes. I ended it three days after at her studio.” Merida murmured.

Emma stumbled back and steadied herself against the ledge. Breathing deeply, she lowered her eyes as thoughts of Regina’s affair flooded and flashed before eyes.  With everything that had happened to them over the last ten years of marriage, she never expected to be told that Regina had been unfaithful to her.  Emma remembered when she was paranoid that Regina was having an affair with Mal Draak before they were married and then that one time when it briefly entered her thoughts when Regina was away in New York but since then she hadn’t even considered that Regina, her wife, the love of her life, the mother of her child would actually do anything.

“Say something, Emma.” Merida murmured as she took hold of the blonde’s hand.

“I need to go…” Emma’s eyes frantically searched for the exit of the club. 

**~()~**

Emma burst through her front door. Tears streaming down her face as she slammed the front door shut.  The house was in complete darkness. Obviously her wife, she couldn’t even say her name in her mind wasn’t home. For all Emma knew, she was probably fucking some woman somewhere, in her studio, a seedy apartment or upstairs in their martial bed.  The blonde glanced up the stairs, she couldn’t hear anything but that didn’t mean it wasn’t happening. Bounding the stairs and bursting through their bedroom door, she immediately flicked the light on.

 The bed was empty, undisturbed and still made exactly how she had left it this morning.  Emma ran her fingers through her hair out of frustration as she turned on her heel and descended back down the stairs.

Emma paced continually around the kitchen and lounge for the next ten minutes. Her thoughts flicking between what Merida had told her earlier and the whereabouts of her wife.  

She still couldn’t say her name.  

The very thought of voicing her name or even thinking it, disgusted, disappointed and even outraged her all together. 

Feeling her phone vibrate in her jacket pocket, she retrieved it and clicked on the message icon.

**Ducky, please tell me you’re okay. I’m so sorry I kept this from you. X**  

The blonde sighed deeply as she quickly typed out a reply. No she wasn’t alright.  Her whole world had just imploded within its self. Everything that she had feared in their relationship had come true.  

Another message flashed on her screen.  

**Okay. If you need anything, just call me. X**  

Scoffing to herself, what she needed was her wife to tell her that Merida had been mistaken. She hadn’t been having an affair. But as hard as she tried, Emma couldn’t ignore the feeling of hurt, suspicion and anger gnawing away in the pit of her stomach.

Things were making sense now. 

For the last six weeks, Regina (oh God, she had thought of her name) had been acting incredibly shady. Overcompensating herself at every given moment and especially when her behaviour and actions involved the blonde.

That was guilt.

Regina had obviously been feeling ashamed and guilty for her recent behaviour and Emma in a small but growing way was glad that the brunette was feeling guilty. She hoped that the guilt had truly set in and was slowly gnawing away at the brunette. It served her right.

_How could she even conceive the notion to do this to? To her. To them._

Emma was now angry. The angriest she had been in a very long time.  Emma rationalized that their relationship hadn’t been at its best for the last year or so.  But she could honestly say she had always been there for the brunette when it mattered. Been a constant beacon of love and understanding. Supporting the brunette through everything she had endured over the years.  But for Regina (Gahh! She had thought of her name again) to do this, throw everything she had done for the brunette back in her face, disregarding and disrespecting their relationship for an affair, a fucking fling, hurt Emma the most. She didn’t deserve to be treated like this.

Tears were now constantly streaming down her redden cheeks as she suddenly stopped still.

_Had Regina fallen out of love with her?_

Was that the reason why she did this? Emma honestly didn’t want to conceive that this could be true. No Regina _(stop saying her name!)_ loved her. She was sure of that. And she knew she still loved Regina.  There was still love in their relationship, even though it may be buried deep under other issues. The unconditional love they harboured for each other out shone any resentment they might have developed for each other. But if Regina loved her as much as she thought, why would have done this in the first place?

_Perhaps I should have done more? We should have tried, done more to make things work. This would never have happened, if I did. If I tried that little bit more._

The taste of bile filled her mouth as the fear that she hadn’t tried hard enough suddenly surfaced. She couldn’t help but blame herself for Regina’s actions. Of course the brunette would do this, cast her aside when she realised that Emma had nothing to offer her. Why wouldn’t she?  It was a wonder the brunette hadn’t done it years ago, Emma thought to herself.  

Emma wiped the tears away as she started to berate herself over and over in her mind. How could she have been so blind? Why hadn’t she realised sooner that something was going on with the brunette? Was she really that naïve to believe that their relationship was like a perfect fucking fairy tale that would withhold the test of time?

“FUCK YOU, REGINA!!!!” Emma screamed over and over until her voice started to become hoarse.

**~()~**

 

It was early hours of the next morning when the brunette finally returned home. Emma had eventually fallen asleep on the sofa. She had contemplated going up to bed the night before but in the end she just couldn’t bring herself to actually sleep in the bed that she shared with her wife.

Her. 

Regina.

Emma still couldn’t say the brunette’s name without retching bile from her stomach.

Regina softly closed the front door behind her as she silently moved through the house to the kitchen. She instinctively knew something was amiss when she saw the smashed bottle of vodka in the kitchen sink.  She inquisitively lifted the glass that sat on the draining board and smelt the contents.

Vodka.

Emma had obviously had a drink or two before she had gone out with Merida the night before, Regina thought to herself as she placed the glass down and started to clear the shattered bottle from the sink.  With her thoughts centred on her wife enjoying herself with the red head the night before, an inkling of jealousy surfaced before she pushed it back, deep inside her. Did she have the right to feel jealous? No. She was more comfortable with remorse. With the guilt that now lay bare across her shoulders as she once again contemplated why the fuck she did what she did?

Pursing her lips hard the conjured images of her wife and the red head slipped away from her mind, she silently walking out of the kitchen and up to their bedroom.  A part of her hoped that Emma wasn’t there so she wouldn’t have to confront the source of her guilt. But also in a way, she needed the blonde to be in bed, sleeping soundly, so she could slip in beside her, hold her and use Emma to assuage her guilt.

Reaching the bedroom, Regina could tell straight away that the blonde hadn’t slept there. The bed still made with nothing out of place.  With a sense of relief, Regina sighed deeply as she started to change her day old clothes.

Emma woke slowly to the sound of someone walking around upstairs. She lifted her head off the cushion as she listened for a moment as the footsteps appeared to be coming from their bedroom.

Regina was home.

An overwhelming sense of relief flooded through the blonde. Regina was home. She was here, in their house, in their bedroom and not out somewhere cavorting with god knows who. But then the anger, disappointment and anguish that had held Emma’s emotions to ransom the night before hit her suddenly.

Regina was home.

The brunette was here in their house, walking around their bedroom acting as if nothing was wrong, no doubt.  Slowly she sat up and continued to listen to Regina moving around the bedrooms upstairs.  In that moment, she despised the brunette’s carefree attitude. Did the brunette even realise that she knew all about her affair with Merida? Did the brunette even care that she had hurt her badly?

Emma thought for a moment as she made her way to the kitchen, obviously Regina hadn’t realised that the blonde was even in the house. Because if she had, the coffee machine would be brewing softly with two waiting mugs beside it.  Glancing into the sink, the bottle of vodka she had dropped in the sink before she went out last night had been cleared away. Regina must have done that. Cleared the shattered glass.   How thoughtful, Emma scoffed to herself.

Emma silently slipped out of the kitchen and padded silently down the short corridor. She stopped at the foot of the stairs and glanced up.  She couldn’t hear the brunette. Biting her lip, she knew that she needed to confront the brunette but she was anxious as to how to do it. Should she startle the brunette and scream blue murder or give the brunette a chance to explain herself? 

Emma slowly ascended the stairs and stopped on the last stair. She could hear the shower running. Turning her head away from the bathroom, she pushed open their bedroom door and disappeared inside. Regina had laid out a set off clothes on the bed. Pursing her lips, Emma sat down beside the clothes and ran her fingers over the soft cashmere jumper as she thought about how she was going to confront the brunette.

Then it struck her, perhaps it was a little juvenile and she knew that it wouldn’t make her feel any better afterwards but neither would Regina. And that was the point. But at this moment in time Emma couldn’t care less about Regina’s feelings nor her own really.  She stood suddenly and stripped off her clothes before slipping silently out of the bedroom and headed to the bathroom.

She hesitatingly held back at the door before slowly pushing it open. The instant humidity warmed her skin as she padded silently over the tiles and stood before the large walk in shower. The brunette was still unaware of the blonde’s presences. Running her teeth over her lips, she momentarily contemplated her plan. With a decisive nod to herself, she pushed open the door and slipped in behind the brunette. That was when Regina finally realised Emma’s presence.

Glancing over her shoulder, Regina frowned slightly as she tried to comprehend what was going on.

“Hey…”

“Hi..” Regina murmured as she felt Emma’s hands trace over her shoulders, down her arms and stop at her hands.

Turning slowly to face the blonde, she reached out and cupped the blonde’s face and pulling her closer before suddenly and forcefully capturing her lips.  The kiss was needy, desperate almost as it searched for a connection. Emma was of two minds whether or not to respond by deepening the kiss. But she was quickly losing her nerve and before she could fathom what was happening, her body reacted accordingly and deepened the kiss. Getting lost in the emotion of the moment her body betrayed her beyond belief as the brunette demonstrated her persuasive power. Hungrily they exhibited their potential dominance over the other as waves of emotions see-sawed between the two women.  The blonde finally took charge and directed the brunette to step backwards until an ‘oomph’ escaped the brunette’s mouth as her back slammed against the cold tiled wall. She had no way of escaping Emma now.

Emma’s lips fell away from the brunette’s as she studied the woman before her. Should she confront her now or not? Was it worth it?  To intentionally hurt the brunette like what had been done to her. Could she live with lowering herself to the brunette’s standard? Would she later regret her actions?   If she attacked now would the potential impact of hurt be worth it?  Emma wasn’t sure if she had the stamina to keep up with this charade for much longer.  Frowning slightly as her thoughts reminded her of the betrayal Regina had bestowed upon her, she made her mind up. The brunette deserved everything that Emma was about to throw back into her face.

Cupping Regina’s face, Emma forced the brunette no other option but to look at her dead in the eye. Quirking an eyebrow and smirking slightly, Emma leant in and captured the bruised plump lips forcefully, pulling the brunette closer and earning a muffled moan in response. Emma trailed her fingers down the centre of Regina’s chest, stopping momentarily over her heart before continuing down the valley between her breasts and over the brunette’s abdomen. Her fingers flexed as they hesitated to continue their journey to the goal.

“Please…” Regina pleaded softly.

 Emma tilted her head slightly to the side.

“Fuck me, Emma.”

Without a word, the blonde’s nimble fingers continued until they found the swollen slick folds. Emma revelled in the wetness between the brunette’s legs.  The relief of knowing that she still had this effect on Regina overwhelmed the blonde’s senses but also it disgusted her and that was when Emma realised that this wasn’t about an emotional connection but just a purely physical release that she needed.

Plunging two fingers deep inside the brunette, Emma started to pump furiously as she released her anger out on the brunette. Regina’s eyes widened in surprise as Emma’s fingers dove deeper inside her repeatedly. Emma had never fucked her like this. With such an animalist tendency devoid of any passion or love.

They weren’t making love but just fucking.

With every passing motion, Regina’s body reacted accordingly as it got closer to achieving the orgasm that she needed. Emma could feel the brunette’s wall’s tightening around her fingers as they continuously pumped deep inside the brunette.

“Faster…” Regina breathed.

With a renewed sense of purpose, Emma obliged. Her hand rested on the brunette’s shoulder as she steadied herself and plunged her two fingers deeper still inside the brunette, her eyes never leaving the brunette’s. Emma needed Regina to see the hurt in her eyes when she achieved her orgasm.

Steadily pumping in and out, Emma knew that Regina was close. Just a few more moments and then she would execute the rehearsed comment with enough viciousness to make maximum impact.

Feeling the brunette’s inner walls beginning to flutter and constrict against her fingers, she quirked an eyebrow in anticipation.  Regina was so close.  Cupping her hand behind the brunette’s neck, she pulled Regina close so as she could kiss the brunette one last time. Capturing the plump lips, she nipped and tugged at them forcefully whilst her two sodden fingers continued their assault on the brunette.

Releasing her hold on the brunette’s lips, Emma pushed away slightly as she felt Regina’s walls tighten sharply around her fingers. The brunette’s body sagged slightly as wave after wave of euphoric orgasm flowed freely around her body. Emma cupped the brunette’s chin, their eyes locked onto one another.

“Did she make you ever come like this?” Emma viciously hissed, suddenly withdrawing her fingers from the brunette.

  **~()~**

 

Regina pushed open the door to the ‘The White House’ and retrieved her two suitcases from where the taxi driver had practically dumped them on the cobbled street. She sighed heavily to herself as she slammed the door shut and flicked the lights on.  As she slowly glanced around the vacant space, she couldn’t help but think back to a happier time when she first bought and moved into the building, all those years ago.  Tears started to stream down her face again as she walked the perimeter of the apartment space conjuring up memories of her and Emma living here. They had experienced so much in the time that they lived here until finally outgrowing the space and moving on and beginning their life together in the old brownstone in Brookline for the last seven years. 

But now, she was back in the apartment where it all started.

Standing at the foot of the internal staircase, Regina slowly ascended the stairs and pushed open the door.  Stepping into the dark studio space, she didn’t bother to switch the lights on as she padded across to the old brown sofa and lay down upon it. Tears again freely flowed down her cheeks as Emma’s parting words penetrated her consciousness.

_“I can’t even look at you anymore. Get the fuck out of my life!”_

She had never seen Emma that angry before.  And she couldn’t really blame her. Emma had every reason to despise her, to hate her. If the shoe was on the other foot, she would have reacted the same, she mused.

She knew she deserved everything Emma had said to her.  

  _Blinking rapidly in shock of Emma’s words, Regina watched the blonde retreat from the bathroom. Hastily she turned off the shower and exited the bathroom in pursuit of the blonde.  Upon entering the bedroom, she found Emma hastily dressing in whatever she could get her hands on from the bedside cabinets._

_“Emma..”_

_The blonde didn’t bother to turn around, Regina sighed and quickly dressed in the laid out clothes on the bed. With a watchful eye, Regina tried again._

_“Emma..”_

_The blonde ignored her as she disappeared into the walk in wardrobe and retrieved two suitcases. Dumping them on the bed, Emma opened all of the drawers that contained Regina’s clothes and started to hastily empty the drawers one by one into the two suitcases. The brunette purposely stood in the blonde’s path._

_“Stop!” Regina shouted, grabbing the pile of clothes out of the blondes hands._

_Glaring at the brunette, Emma turned back to the drawers and continued to empty them hastily. Regina dropped the pile of clothes she was holding on the bed and attempted to take a hold of Emma’s hands. The blonde flinched as she stepped away from her wife._

_“Don’t you dare touch me!” Emma spat._

_Holding her hands up in defence, Regina spoke. “Okay, will you just stop and look at me.”_

_Emma glared at the brunette as she held her ground._

_Regina rubbed her eyes with the palm of her hands as she walked in tight circles in front of the blonde. “I’m so sorry, Em.” Regina eventually murmured._

_Emma’s eyes narrowed. “You’re sorry? You’re sorry!?! Regina what the fuck? I want to know why!”_

_The brunette sighed deeply as she sat back on the bed; her eyes never left the blonde. “I don’t know why? It just happened. Before I knew it, I was kissing her...”_

_“Bullshit, Regina!  You had conditions. No names. No personal information. That tells me you knew exactly what was happening. You willingly entered into an affair but to assuage you’re guilt you decided to hide that part of you.” Emma hissed._

_Regina lowered her head, she had nothing to say. Emma was right, she had done exactly that. There was no other reason.  Emma disappeared into the walk in wardrobe and continued to dump the brunette’s clothes in the cases. As she appeared for the second time at the cases, Emma finally murmured something._

_“What?” Regina glanced up and looked to the blonde._

_“I said. Do you still love me?” Emma was trying hard to keep her tears at bay, she didn’t want breakdown in front of Regina._

_Regina took a deep breath. “I can try…”_

_Emma gasped, she wasn’t expecting that answer. Suddenly losing her nerve, the tears started to flow. Backing away from the suitcases, she silently walked out the room and disappeared down the stairs._

_Regina clenched her eyes shut. Fuck!_

_She finally stood and followed the blonde down the stairs, finding her in the kitchen. Emma was leant over the kitchen island, her eyes focused on the opposite wall. The tears still flowed. Regina cautiously entered the kitchen; she didn’t say anything as she retrieved two mugs from the cabinet and silently went about prepping the coffee machine. Emma didn’t acknowledge the brunette presence._

_A mug of steaming coffee was finally placed in front of the blonde. Regina kept her distance on the opposite side of the kitchen. Emma licked her lips as she automatically picked up the mug and took a sip._

_“Emma, tell me how to fix this..I’ll do anything. Therapy. We can go together…” Regina’s words trailed off._

_The blonde glanced at the brunette but remained silent._

_“I’ll ring someone today, set up an appointment.” She picked up her mobile, ready to dial a number on Emma’s say so. “This..our marriage is worth saving..”_

_Emma scoffed loudly to herself as she placed the mug of coffee down on the counter top. “Regina our marriage is over. You made sure of that when you fucked Merida!”_

_“Emma  please..” Regina pleaded._

_“No, Regina. Just stop kidding yourself. You did this. You ruined our marriage. What’s the point? I asked you if you loved me still and you reply with I’ll try. That tells me everything I need to know..”_

_“But I will, I’ll do anything. I need you, Emma.” Regina stepped closer to the blonde._

_Emma shook her head as she pushed herself away from the kitchen island and turned to the brunette. “I can’t even look at you anymore. Get the fuck out of my life!” She brutally seethed._

**~()~**

As the days went on, Regina sunk deeper and deeper into her own personal hell.  She had hardly ventured outside the studio in two weeks. Only making the short trip every few days to purchase more whiskey from the local liquor store. The same one where she first met the red head.  

And in those two weeks, she never once heard from Emma.  She had lost count of how many times a day she would phone the blonde, only to be met with Emma’s voice mail message telling her to leave a name and number after the beep.  Each and every time, Regina asked the blonde to return her call.  But it never happened.

So Regina drank.  It was all she could do to ease the pain she had caused herself.

Then one night after two weeks of no contact, Regina’s phone started to ring.  The brunette scrambled to her feet and retrieved her mobile from her workbench. Flipping open her phone, Emma’s name flashed on the tiny screen.

Regina’s fingers fumbled hastily as she pushed the green button. “Emma...” She husked.

She was initially met with silence before Emma’s soft voice replied. “Regina, we need to talk.”

The brunette ran her fingers nervously through her disheveled hair and nodded expectedly. “Yes, we do. I can come over…”

She was met with silence again.

“Emma?”

“Um..actually..no..It would be better if you didn’t. I am only ringing out of courtesy before you receive your mail tomorrow.”

Regina’s brows furrowed. “My mail? I don’t understand..”

Emma sighed loudly into the phone. “Regina. I have filed for divorce…”

“Emma…No, please don’t do this. We can work this out. I will do anything.” Regina urgently pleaded as she once again met with silence from the other end of the line. “Emma?”

“Have you stopped drinking?” Emma’s voice was weak.

Regina could lie but she knew that Emma would see through it. The blonde had a knack of knowing when the brunette was lying. She sighed deeply. “No…” she murmured as she placed the half empty bottle of whiskey back down on the edge of the long wooden work bench.

“Then we can’t work this out.” Emma murmured. 

“I will stop. I will do that for you..for Henry..” Regina insisted.

“Regina it is too late. If you cared about me and Henry you would have stopped drinking years ago.  Actually that was what I also wanted to talk to you about. Henry has been asking for you but I don’t think it is a good idea at the moment. I don’t want his impression of you to change.”

“What? I don’t understand…” Regina’s brows furrowed.

Emma sighed loudly. “He idolizes you Regina. Always has, always will. I think it is for the best that I file for sole custody and perhaps over time allow you supervisory rights…”

“Supervisory rights? What the fuck, Emma! He is my son!” Regina gritted her teeth.

Emma could hear the aggression in the brunette’s voice. “No Regina he is my son! I am being civil about this, but if you force my hand…”

“Civil? Emma you practically threw me out of our house! You haven’t returned any of my calls and now you’re telling me I will eventually have supervisory rights to my son. That is hardly being civil.” Regina scoffed.

“Regina, I didn’t need to make this phone call. My solicitor advised me not to but…” Emma paused slightly. “I couldn’t do that to you. Even after everything you have done to us.” She paused again. “To me. I just couldn’t do it..”

“How noble of you, dear..”

Emma sighed deeply.  “Regina I don’t want to fight..”

“But you will have a fight on your hands if you take my son away from me, Emma!”  Regina countered.

“Regina, I’m going to hang up now, you’re obviously been drinking. This conversation is over.” Emma said through gritted teeth. She was trying hard not to lose her temper.

“That’s it; throw it back in my face! Yes I have been drinking, Emma.” Regina said sarcastically.

A moment later the other end of the line went dead. Emma had hung up on the brunette.

Regina contemplated ringing the blonde back instantly but she knew that it would serve no good. Emma was unlikely to pick up. So instead she quickly typed out a message and sent it without hesitation. Her phone beeped a matter of minutes later.

Flipping open her phone, she read Emma’s message.

**You have no idea what I am capable of! See you in Court.**

Regina flipped the cover of her phone shut and huffed annoyingly to herself as she gripped the phone tightly in her left hand before throwing it with all the strength she had at the white washed brick wall of her studio. The mobile phone smashed against the brick work breaking into several pieces. Sighing to herself as she walked towards it, she bent down along the way and picked up the pieces.

Gathering the broken bits in her hands she walked back to the long wooden table that sat along the far wall of her studio and tossed the bits on the table. Turning her attention to the freshly developed prints that were lined up at the far end of the table, she gathered them up one by one in her hands and tucked them under her arms as she grabbed the plastic shallow tray  and  the half empty bottle of whiskey that sat squarely on the edge of the table.   Placing the tray and whiskey down in the centre of the room, she started tossing the photos in the direction of the tray as her eyes skimmed over each photograph.  As she came to the last one, she stopped. It was a photograph of Emma and their son, Henry. Both were smiling widely into the camera. Tracing her fingers over both their faces, she held the photo tightly in her hands as she looked to the pile of discarded photographs; they were all exactly the same. Emma and Henry smiling into the camera. The edges of the photograph started to bend as Regina tightened her grip.

“FUCKKKKKKKKKK!” She screamed out, as the sound reverberating off all four walls.

Tears now freely flowed as she clutched the photograph to her chest. She’d caused this; she caused the situation she now found herself in.

Alone.

Regina necked the bottled of whiskey. Wincing in disgust as the warm liquid travelled down her throat and hit her empty stomach. Looking at the bottle in her hand and then to the table she poured some of the whiskey over the table. Turning around she slowly walked back to the scattered photographs and sprinkled the last remnants over the photos. She turned quickly and threw the bottle at the brick wall; she didn’t even react to it smashing into a thousand pieces. Reaching into back pocket of her jeans, she looked at the small red throw-away lighter and flicked the wheel, watching the flint spark as she strolled back to the table.  Following the dripping liquid as it flowed off the table onto to the floor, she squatted down beside the liquid trail.  She watched the natural flow head towards the centre of the room.

All it would take was one spark from the lighter. The flame would travel gradually to the photos and also to the table. Symbolic of how her life was, really.

One side her family.  Representing all that was good in her life.

The other, was where her devil laid bare. Tempting and seducing her to re-acquaint their friendship.

What did she have left to lose?  Nothing now, she’d lost it already.  

Flicking the wheel, she watched the spark light the liquid and roar to life in the shape of a flame.

 

**And that was the moment when Regina realised she had finally gone too far.**

**~()~**

Emma looked at items on the wooden tray. A bowl of soup, napkin, spoon and a cup of tea. All checked off the mental list in her head. But there was one thing missing. Glancing out the French doors to the potted plants that sat on the wooden deck, she realised the tray needed a bit of colour. Regina would appreciate that small detail. A twig from her lavender plant would finish it off.

Rummaging through the utensil drawer, she grabbed the scissors and went out to her beloved potted lavender. Snipping a twig, she half skipped back into the kitchen and placed the twig on the tray next to napkin. Admiring her handy work, she smiled to herself. That would do just nicely.

Picking up the tray, she hurriedly walked out of the kitchen, up the stairs and to their bedroom. Nudged the door open with her hip, she stood in the doorway and glanced over to their king sized bed. Regina was snuggled under the duvet; sleeping soundly. Quietly she padded across the wooden floor and placed the tray down on the bedside cabinet. Tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear, she gently ran her fingers down the side of the brunette’s sleeping face.

Regina’s face twitched by the touch.

Emma glanced over at the clock. It was getting late in the afternoon. She would need to wake Regina up, encourage her to eat something and then leave her to pick up their son from school. Crouching down low beside the bed, Emma reached out and pushed the brunette’s hair away from her face. Regina’s eyes fluttered open and focused on the blonde.

“I’ve made you soup.” Emma said, glancing over to the wooden tray.

Regina’s eyes followed the blondes and rested on the tray.

“Thank you.” Regina whispered, pushing herself up and resting her head against the head board.

Glancing up at the clock, Regina realised she’d been asleep for the last four hours.

Emma’s gaze drifted across the bed to the discarded used tissues that was scattered over it.  “Feeling any better?” she asked.

Regina nodded slightly. “The soup will help.”

The blonde picked up the tray and placed it on the brunette’s lap. “It’s chicken noodle soup. I need to pick Henry up from school.”

Regina’s gaze lingered on the blonde before settling back onto the tray. Picking up the spoon and scooping up some soup, she brought it to her lips. “I don’t deserve this, Emma.”

Emma remained silent. Regina was right, what she had done to her was beyond excusable.

But what Emma had witnessed two nights ago was a desperate woman who had fallen so hard, so deep into her own personal hell.After ending the phone call with Regina, Emma had a feeling that the brunette was going to do something to harm herself. She wasn’t exactly sure what but she knew if she didn’t stop the brunette quickly, she would no doubt find herself as a widow before the nights end.

When she arrived at the studio, she hoped that she wasn’t too late.   A small crowd of people gathered together in the centre of the cobbled square as they watched smoke billow from ‘The White House’ roof. The distant sirens of the fire engines grew louder as they approached the area. Emma needed to know that Regina wasn’t still in the building. Racing up the external stairs, she kicked open the front door to the studio and disappeared inside.

Finding Regina slumped against the floor near the front door; she hastily pulled the brunette out of the studio. A couple of men from the crowd raced up the stairs and helped Emma carry Regina away from the burning building.

The next few hours were a complete blur for the blonde. Regina and herself had been whisked away in an ambulance to the nearest hospital for medical treatment.  Emma remembered being separated from Regina for hours only to be reunited early hours of the next morning. A doctor had informed Emma that her wife was now stable.  She had been very lucky only to suffer from smoke inhalation.

“No you don’t. Goodbye Regina.” Emma said, closing the door behind her.

Regina’s gaze finally left the closed door after a long while.  She knew that was the moment Emma was leaving her for good.

 

**In the end, it is not the days or the years that we remember, but the moments – Kobi Yamada**

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there you have it the last chapter of Moments of the Heart. 
> 
> Although the story may have finished here with a not so happy ending, it does give us a good starting point for the next story in this series, Admissions of the Heart. If you haven't already, you may want to read the little 2 chapter scene story, "Elevator Scene - Admissions of the Heart." It will give you a little sneak peak as to what to expect in the third and final story of this series. Before people start asking, no I haven't written it yet but it's definitely been planned and started. Just watch this space for when it will published. 
> 
> I must also express my absolute gratitude for everyone who has supported this story, be it just reading, commenting or giving kudos. Your support means the absolute world to me and I am truly grateful for every single one of you out there who has given me and this story a chance. I hope I have done it some justice. :) 
> 
> Thank you so much. ~ RamblingtowardsEcstasy


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